) Cant wait till tuesday. Big 9 Christmas Bash. Gonna be sweeet.
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I just deleted my stupid livejournal account. I was writing stuff that was too depressing, and not making it private. And it was too bad. I just didn't want to hide my feelings anymore, which I admit can be very wrong and depressing. But, I'm not going to stop writing my feelings, I'm just going to make sure that I know what they are before I put them for people to see. And those private horrid thoughts can go as a private entry! Well, now that I have this cleared up, I guess I should go to bed. Believe it or not...Photoshop CS is getting boring! I use it at school for two straight hours everyday, and need some new project Ideas. Hmmm, lemme hear them. But Im gonna get an mp3 player for christmas, and If I dont, Im gonna buy one. I Love my parents though. They give me everything they can. They arnt gonna buy me one as nice as I was going to get myself, but it is one that Will be good though. My prroblem is I always want whats bigger and better, sometimes even before i have the smaller and lesser. Im going to more appreciative of this life i have. I have great friends, an amazing family, and more than I will ever need. Plus...I can go and spend all that money on clothes and new CD's(...and save for college ) Cant wait till tuesday. Big 9 Christmas Bash. Gonna be sweeet.
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I went shopping, and bought some gifts, for others, for me...so on. I got a new hat, pretty neat. Like a grandpa hat. Then I got a new haircut, and a reason to wear the hat, she thinned it out way too much. damn her. and one sideburn is about half an inch shorter than the other, but they were bothe supposed to be about the same length, a touch longer. Well, it will all grow back in a month os 2 or 3. gah. I know that eventually I will find someone who knos how to cut hair good. For starters, Im never getting a $10 haircut again. And I am going to find someone who will follow my rules. And someone trendy to have a clue about whats 'in.' Geez, lame ass bitch. And i didnt even have time to get it fixed, of course fixing it would be adding some hair back on, not taking off even more. And...if you havnt figured it out yet, I love my hair, very important to me, I really am bummed. Im getting used to it, but it doesnt hang in my face anymore and I cant ignore people by letting my hair in my eyes. Well, itll grow, and I have a sexy hat. What more could I ask for...crap. I think Im gonna try to call my girlfriend. Speaking of what else I could use....hmmm, maybe shes not busy tomorrow. I miss here...gah, why did I have to think about her...now I really want her, I was perfectly fine! But...the 9 party is soon. So Ill be okay tonight. Surrounded by friends.
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| The Party was a blast. We watched some movies, beat on each other, ate, laid around, ran around, exchanged gifts, and not in that order either. It was fun. I got some really nice gifts from my friends. Im not gonna list them because that is tedious, But...oh well. I got a trendy emo-core(thats my own stereotype for myself) belt, a really really nice photography book, a cd, a very nice(leatherbound) portfiolio/picture album, some blank cd-r's(aaron is my computer friend), 2 gift cards. And a little picture frame thingy, and an Aquarius symbol necklace from Mandy(shes an aquarius too!). That about it. Yep, But I still think that spending time together was the best part, hmm, im supposed to have an orthodontist appointment(TMJ) at 3:15, and its about half an hour away, and its 3 right now, and my moms not home, and my step dad didnt answer his cell, so guess im just gonna chill here for now....yep. Later. |
| Its been a few days, I let my posting slide. But here it is, a post Christmas entry where I get to tell you that I got an Mp3 player, andsome assorted gifts. Really good times. Last night I saw Finding Neverland with some friends...someof the nine. More good times, after 11:30 when the others were gone and It was Mandy, Alyssa, and Myself. Also Alysas's sister ans sister's boyfriend. But the main point is that we spent from like midnight to 1:30 looking at old school stuff. Like notebooks that girls had in junior high and wrote notes to each other in, old school papers from kindergarten, it was funny stuff. But....monday night was a lock in for youth group. It was great fun. We did this thing at Gurnee Mills, then we went to Action Territory and had the building to ourselves. I hung out with Adam, Marissa, Ashely while we were there. Later that night, around 1am I started talking to some other kids and we had some great conversation. Got to know them better, and there's this girl who I've come to like. Just that It would be nice to spend time with her, good conversations waiting to be had. But anyways, Im trying to keep less bored than I should be during break. Its hard to accomplish, But Ive had some good times. New Years I am watching the brats for some money. But I dont like New Years Eve. Everyone gets up their hopes that this year will be better, this will be the big year, everything is going to be different. They think that all the problems in their life are going to finally change on their own, and that the person wont have to put any work into solving their issues. What a waste, resolutions. Im done lying to myself, lying to other people too, about life and society. So I dont care if i think New Years resolutions are a crappy way to set another goal to fall short on, If your going o set a goal, you're better off doing it when It needs to be done, not waiting fo a holiday or another reason to put it off. Me? If i set a goal Its because Im bored. I know that there are things I need to do, and I dont find excuses to justify not doing them, or dillusions(like the new year) to make my goals seem any easier. Nope, I figure what is...just is. No reason to lie to myself, Im lazyand afraid to fall short, so I dont even try my hand at things. I need to break that mentality. Tomorrow Im doing some stuff that I completely anti-me. Ill be trying to accomplish some goals, doing some things that Im not sure how they will end up, if my answeres I get will be yes or no, or If I can get what Im trying to get. I hate not knowing whats going to happen when I do something, but sometimes you have to do something you dont know the outcome of, ask a question you dont know the answer to. I need to do those things more often, otherwise Im not going to go to far on my own in life, I need to start doing these things, I guess being a kid and imature is fun, but I act like that in everything i do. Well, I can ramble forever, but Im good for now. Peace. |
| Made some phone calls on my eagle project, gotta get this dumb thing done. It went so smoothly Im not sure why I didnt do all this a year ago when I started the project. Well, now I have till Feb 14th to get this crap done...well see. |