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deathcab4u's
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| A Model...me? |
Feb 2nd, 2005 8:11:36 pm - Subscribe |
| Ha. Well it looks like tomorrow I have to get my picture taken in the studio for adams intern website. I need to have too outfits....eh. I have to do 'how not to dress for an interview' and 'how to'. Well, whatever. I can manage. I also have t develop that roll i took this afternoon. Meh. So I was telling a sad story. I am cotemplating adding the next part of the story. I'm not really that down. Yes I am, but it should be short, maybe not. After writing the story I now apologize for it being so lengthy, turn back now if you want. part 2 So when I left off I was beaten, losing at life. But it was time to move again. Ever since my parents had divorced, even though she was re-married, we were still going from one rented house to another. This next move was to grayslake, but lets say I never quite made it there. There was a several month gap between the end of our current lease and the closing on the new townhouse, and my family had nowhere to go. Maybe we did. My two little sister, older sister, parents, and myself all moved into my Grandma's house. It is a tiny two bedroom condo type in Round Lake. Anyone not from Lake County...Round Lake is the armpit of the area. We spent half a year living in this small house with only two bedrooms, a livingroom, kitchen, and a dinning room. Needless to say, it was close quarters and life would not be the same for very long. I shared a room with my parents, and two little sisters. We had a bunk bed and what must have been a queen size in that room. My big sister was with my grandma. We moved in with her during the summer, June I believe. So when it came time to start school I was registered at Grayslake Middle school under my aunt's address, being I was going to be attending there in a few months. This was done so I wouldn't have to transfer when we finally got to our brand new house. I had a chance at a new life, I didnt have to be the loser. So with some new preppy clothes(I have learned new clothes will never change who I am and the past, neither will a new house, or a new anything) I started my first day and was just any other kid, except the fact that I wasnt part of the thirty reunions taking place around me. The first few weeks were hard, but I have been to several different schools(5 at that point) and have learned how to meet people, even after that year of being tormented. It was all so surreal there, most likely because life was fake at that time. I had to be somewhere else in my head. Fantasies helped me escape life. Escape being at home....no, not home. As I met people I was surprised at being accepted. With a crush on a cute girl and cool friends everything seemed to be right, but it wasn't. At that point I had no self-esteem, self worth. I didn't even know that she liked me back. How was I supposed to know that the pretty, popular girl had a thing for me(I found out my last day at GMS). I wonder if people could see through me, wonder why I was akward with having friends. I did well there, good grades...for awhile. As the time spent living at my grandmas increased, so did my problems. I stopped doing my homework and schoolwork. My last report card from there never made it to my parents hands(I arranged that). In a few weeks time I managed to stop working and fail most of my classes with grades below 50%. I spent one semester at GMS before I found out that we were not moving to grayslake, in fact, plans had changed. We were going to Lake Villa...I would attend Antioch Upper Grade School. -I have never gone over my past before, never analyzed what has happened to me. I guess it has always been to hard to remember. I am beginning to see where I developed the problems I still have today. And I wanted to keep it short, but thats the story in as few words as I thought I could use and still tell the story. On a happy note, I'm going to do some homework for LRM that was due...some time ago. |
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| mood: withdrawn I hear: The Promise Ring-30degrees Everywhere |
(1) comments |
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un_heartme |
February 02nd, 2005 |
hmm... you're an interesting writer!  If you feel that way about someone... at least drop some hints before you shock her. I was so shocked today... I had no idea at all... but I do admit, it was sweet. <3 |
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