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oops

Dec 29th, 2004 9:41:31 pm - Subscribe

Its been a few days, I let my posting slide. But here it is, a post Christmas entry where I get to tell you that I got an Mp3 player, andsome assorted gifts. Really good times. Last night I saw Finding Neverland with some friends...someof the nine. More good times, after 11:30 when the others were gone and It was Mandy, Alyssa, and Myself. Also Alysas's sister ans sister's boyfriend. But the main point is that we spent from like midnight to 1:30 looking at old school stuff. Like notebooks that girls had in junior high and wrote notes to each other in, old school papers from kindergarten, it was funny stuff. But....monday night was a lock in for youth group. It was great fun. We did this thing at Gurnee Mills, then we went to Action Territory and had the building to ourselves. I hung out with Adam, Marissa, Ashely while we were there. Later that night, around 1am I started talking to some other kids and we had some great conversation. Got to know them better, and there's this girl who I've come to like. Just that It would be nice to spend time with her, good conversations waiting to be had. But anyways, Im trying to keep less bored than I should be during break. Its hard to accomplish, But Ive had some good times. New Years I am watching the brats for some money. But I dont like New Years Eve. Everyone gets up their hopes that this year will be better, this will be the big year, everything is going to be different. They think that all the problems in their life are going to finally change on their own, and that the person wont have to put any work into solving their issues. What a waste, resolutions. Im done lying to myself, lying to other people too, about life and society. So I dont care if i think New Years resolutions are a crappy way to set another goal to fall short on, If your going o set a goal, you're better off doing it when It needs to be done, not waiting fo a holiday or another reason to put it off. Me? If i set a goal Its because Im bored. I know that there are things I need to do, and I dont find excuses to justify not doing them, or dillusions(like the new year) to make my goals seem any easier. Nope, I figure what is...just is. No reason to lie to myself, Im lazyand afraid to fall short, so I dont even try my hand at things. I need to break that mentality. Tomorrow Im doing some stuff that I completely anti-me. Ill be trying to accomplish some goals, doing some things that Im not sure how they will end up, if my answeres I get will be yes or no, or If I can get what Im trying to get. I hate not knowing whats going to happen when I do something, but sometimes you have to do something you dont know the outcome of, ask a question you dont know the answer to. I need to do those things more often, otherwise Im not going to go to far on my own in life, I need to start doing these things, I guess being a kid and imature is fun, but I act like that in everything i do. Well, I can ramble forever, but Im good for now. Peace.
mood: tired
I hear: Sunny Day Real Estate
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