confused but quiet
Date: Jun 29th, 2004 9:27:57 am - Subscribe
Mood: pensive
MY 5-10 YR PLAN/RETIREMENT!: working on cool vs stress with others
Checking up on my goals, long term, means I also have to pay attn to my short term goals. In Sept I will be going to Diano to visit my family, with Ron. It will be an expense but I think we really need to get away.
The thing I have to work on is, not feeling responsibile for everyone else's feelings....like when I invite the crowd over for a bbq and a swim. I feel like I'm so pressured to cook and clean for everyone, then I also have to keep Jenna entertained, but I don't have the energy to do it all.
then I end up feeling guilty.
Not the way to go.
Gotta keep telling myself that I am not the ever ready bunnie, I just can't keep on going. I am human.
I am 50 and surely that must mean something.
It's like I have to LEARN to become more selfish.
That's not a bad thing, it just means to focus on me so that I'm not always worried about others first.
Because if I can be cool with myself then maybe I can radiate that cool instead of radiating stress which is what I seem to do now.
Comments: (0)
my first blog
Date: Jun 26th, 2004 6:31:47 pm - Subscribe
Mood: contemplative
MY 5-10 YR PLAN/RETIREMENT!: 2009 5yr/2014 10yr
I have a 10 yr plan to retirement.
I plan to retire at age 60, 10 years from now.
March 8 2014.
that's the day.
Everything I do in the now is to reach that ultimate goal.
I work at a job that I dislike, in a corporate environement which tries to stifle my inner self, the very essence of who I am at every turn.
So be it. They have the money and benes, I need them so here I am.
But they cannot reach my soul.
That will stay mine forever.
While I'm on the clock for 8 hrs a day, 5 days a week, I'll be their corporate clerk, but on my time I am the woman I was meant to be.
Wildwoman to the bone.
With my wild man.
They can't stop that.
The one thing that I miss from my life is a female mentor, at least 60 or 65 years of age, a rough and tumble type, someone who has been to hell and back and know the way so she can show me. None of this missy prissy crap
I'm not missy prissy and will never be, nor do I want to be.
I am not Barbie doll incarnate.
I am real, earthy woman. When I am around people will know that they are dealing with a woman of substance. Deep is better than shallow.
I have been envious of the shallow pretty Barbie dolls that seem to get everything they want just by being soft and manipulative and pretty.....
I can't do it. I'm not pretty or soft but I can be when I want to be.
I don't want to manipulate people for my needs, I want to share my life and my goals with someone equally. That's why I have Ron He is wildman, he just doesn't always know it. He is very deep also, very complicated for a man. I know the difference because my first marriage almost killed me, almost killed my soul. I was dying. Now I'm living.
I will not allow a corporation to kill my soul, either. My soul will be intact, I just won't allow it to be seen while I'm there.
I have to learn to live with this type of duality, which isn't a bad thing at all.
First part of my plan it from hereon to keep my life simple, that means no more spending money on things that are not in line with my goal. knickknacks, pretty things that have no substance for example. I have all the clothing I will need for years. I won't buy new anything I will try thrift stores first.
Also, I will continually cull and throw out things that are not in line with my goal of streamlining my life so that things will be more simple. I will give things away, sell them off, throw them out.
less is more will be my new motto
less is definitely more.
less stuff means more freedom, more time and energy to do things I really want to do instead of taking care of stuff.
less maintanance is more freedom.
I will also work on saving $250 a month instead of only $150. THat should not be impossible.
Since my retirement home is paid for, i won't have to worry about mortgage, just upkeep and regular bills. the sale of the house we own now should allow us to put at least 200K in our pockets in 10 years time from now, so that willbe our nest egg to live on.
I will keep the goal in mind....5 yrs then 10....one day at a time.
Comments: (0)