date: Dec 17th, 2007 3:44:53 pm - Subscribe
mood: awake

in this land
all the people sleep
all of the day and
most of the night
their mouths catching
dust like their dance shoes
the heavy-headed pull
of their dark gravity
sucks the stars dry
and creates for us
a black hole of

May 11th, 2007 11:08:50 am
words in edgewise: (0)

the emperor's new pose
date: Dec 17th, 2007 3:43:34 pm - Subscribe
mood: dandy

i save everything.
every word.
every turn.


i walk around naked, daily.
the world sees me and i cannot hide

revelation will not expose me further.

i do not imagine i wear finery designed
by top-notch tailors
made from magic thread.

i know i am naked, so those who
point and laugh in the streets as i pass
do not surprise me.

i am unemcumbered by the trappings which would define me otherwise.

and i have grown to need the wind upon my skin, uninhibited.

i save everything.
every word.
every turn.


your skin will not be ready for the winter that is coming....

Jul 22nd, 2007 5:02:00 pm
words in edgewise: (0)

date: Dec 17th, 2007 3:42:31 pm - Subscribe
mood: jaded

no lifelong friends
no endless love
they wait to turn on you
a dime or two of 'wisdom'
they've saved up for your
closed eyes
without a clue of their
impending fangs and
the rope they bring to
let you hang yourself
as if on cue
the moment you say the
secret word of the day
a trap they did not even have to set
but only wait
mincing all you've done and said
with shards of mirrors
and trust-splinters
so there's no safe step
no civilized dance
no proper retreat
just the seed of dissolution
growing rapidly, warped and crooked
like your view of me
like my view of you
like our view of everything
in all the mirror pieces.

Nov 2nd, 2007 8:13:50 am
words in edgewise: (0)

the shill
date: May 23rd, 2007 12:47:46 am - Subscribe
mood: aerial

an alien abducted
by a native man
in his native land
a flesh menagerie
a gallery where the
only hanging is
"the scream"
i dream of home
and roam your narrow
neuron passages
as i sell tickets
to the sideshow.

words in edgewise: (0)

punish meant
date: May 12th, 2007 11:12:32 pm - Subscribe
mood: indifferent
postmark: .^.

this long-term stubborn silent treat
where as i wake, you go to sleep
does not have its intended means
as i am unaffected.

words in edgewise: (2)

date: May 7th, 2007 6:37:46 am - Subscribe
mood: ~

"children & sunset"

words in edgewise: (0)

mister sleeps
date: Mar 5th, 2007 9:51:37 am - Subscribe
mood: hostile

my king-size bed is mine alone.
he sleeps in a chair
with his feet blocking the door.
i tiptoe past them on the way
to the bathroom and
give him the finger.
later, on my way to the kitchen for a soda,
i mouth the words "i HATE you" at his head.
sometimes, i pretend to drop kick him or flick boogers in his gaping mouth.
but, quietly.
i do not want to wake him.
i am not ready to fake a smile.
i am not ready to kiss him goodbye when he leaves for work, wiping my lips with the back of my hand when he's left the room.
so i tiptoe and keep the t.v. low
and let the asshole sleep.

words in edgewise: (0)

found in an old notebook....
date: Feb 8th, 2007 11:55:02 am - Subscribe
mood: cosmic

i am not this thing you assume
you envision
with your closed-circuit, technicolor
mind that you are
judge, jury, prosecutor, executioner
and i,
you swear,
good book underhand,
am just bad.....

so late it must be
orgy needle-cult
evil heathen
you lie awake
you lie
awake and unaware
you lie yourself scared
and shades of lime
i might be more than you
dared, cared to even
a little consideration
would be nice,
you say
and i choke on a laugh as
i choke on my leash ---
consider release of ME
aware that freedom is never free
and clear that scars make either
iron bars or ladders.
i lie awake, consumed with
the guarantee that
life is short,
not necessarily sweet....
and i have songs to go before i sleep.

08/16/99 3:50am
words in edgewise: (0)

lonely world
date: Jan 2nd, 2007 10:21:31 pm - Subscribe
mood: nothing

i have heard the lonely voices
of lonely people
pieces of people they once were
and once were happily rid of
but assuming
they miss the whole of it.

i analyze this.

it is not the ex-anything
they seek to regain
but the sense of the familiar
a lull in the rush of the
nervous, stranger-blush,
a re-connubial bliss...
which does not exist.

i analyze this.

i do not get lonely
to feel this is to feel the emptiness
which something, someone
once filled.
i do not expect a void to
be voided by another soul
when the hole is in my own.

i analyze this.

words in edgewise: (2)

isolation observations
date: Dec 21st, 2006 7:27:05 pm - Subscribe
mood: sleepy

words are for whoever wants them.

songs are not for those who sing.

feasts are rarely for the hungry.

time leaves one no time to waste.

self-loathing is like leprosy.

those who smile back are not dead.

wrong numbers ring less for the lonely.

things are exactly how they seem.

soul-mate is an oxymoron.

good things leave no after-taste.

wise men more often mumble nonsense.

the first two days there was no sun.

acceptance requires no research.

when you look, you fail to see.

real has been produced by pretense.

elsewhere, i am half-awake.

words in edgewise: (2)

date: Dec 12th, 2006 3:19:41 am - Subscribe
mood: forgotten

i am all that i say
but you won't see it
unless i believe it.

this phoenix rises hard
and could burn
your eyes blind.

so i hold it inside and i
choke on the
ashes and bones.

i am siren with song
but you hear
only human noises.

i chameleon
i hold candles, capes
and mirrors up

but this phoenix rises hard
and might burn
your eyes blind.

words in edgewise: (0)

date: Oct 13th, 2006 11:57:42 am - Subscribe
mood: starving

i get junk mail,
spam, machine calls
from politicians that
i hang up on.
the knock at the door
is only the junk man
and the honk on the street
is for the neighbor.
even the crumbs of
postcard hellos have
long eroded.
if i knew a leper
he would introduce me
to his leprous friend
and they would look
with pity upon me.

words in edgewise: (0)

date: Oct 9th, 2006 12:03:53 am - Subscribe
mood: neglected

i am not a pretty flower
i wilt

words in edgewise: (0)

date: Sep 22nd, 2006 12:55:49 am - Subscribe
mood: hostile
postmark: .^.

instructed on how to be
the perfect prick
by a long line of
mediocre pricks,
you find me distasteful
cold and harsh
when you mold me
with the cold and harsh
of a man
attempting to fashion
the soft and pliable
the impossible
under my granite skin
cool veins throb
with hot fury
that you do not accept
what you have created.

words in edgewise: (0)

date: Aug 25th, 2006 2:09:49 am - Subscribe
mood: inferior
postmark: ~'~

there was this boy who
didn't like me
so me stopped
and he didn't like me
so i dyed
and another didn't want me
to act my age
but i did anyway
and he didn't want me
to be a star funny.
my mother said i'd be
a whore...
how we hate to disappoint
and me pop said i would
never be happy
and he was right
my shrink said, "stop talking"
and i couldn't
so i quit
therapy is for the hopeful
and i'm not
though i can twist
and turn
into some strange
seemingly wanted thing
i still can't be
for you
for me...

so i air my insufficiency.

words in edgewise: (0)

date: Jul 26th, 2006 9:51:07 am - Subscribe
mood: burned-out

a breast of interest
to lay your head against
and listen to the different rhythm inside
feed on the newness
and feed
and feed
and feed
until familiarity sours
the milky essence of chemistry
the teat runs dry
of untold stories
and all one can recall is the weaning.

words in edgewise: (0)

the butcher, the baker, and the candlestickmaker
date: Jul 1st, 2006 3:21:01 am - Subscribe
mood: bizarre

various goals
for various holes...

this one fills me half full
this one leaves me
half empty
and yet another
brings another leak another
hole another need

an other...
implying not us
but more us than we
since you are not really any
part of the me
an other
it must be then, indeed

no wonder
i spin and bend
but never split and bleed
i'm so inclined
an island willow tree
in love with fishes
in love with me

words in edgewise: (0)

all hail, lord dickhead
date: Jun 23rd, 2006 7:48:04 am - Subscribe
mood: done
postmark: .^.

you miserable fucking man
you do all that you can
to make us feel the
shit you spill
you miserable fucking man

you senseless sot-buffoon
you ruler of the room
you drivel on
you're right, we're wrong
you know it all, it's true

you always call me bitch
to punctuate your fit
an old routine
that only means
you're nothing but a git

and a jackass with no plan
who wobbles when he stands
and cannot see that
we see he's a
miserable fucking man

words in edgewise: (0)

the push
date: Jun 23rd, 2006 6:48:39 am - Subscribe
mood: fedfuckingup
postmark: .^.

you say
you didn't
say that
but you did
not five seconds ago
but you wouldn't know
you're not here
right now
i'd sell my soul
for a playback
so you would
be forced to face it
yourself as i too often see it
obtuse and mean and
without reason
pushing buttons
warning, warning
you don't care
you are omniscient
in your goggles and
your loud talk talk talk
when you never say

words in edgewise: (0)

date: Jun 4th, 2006 6:32:45 am - Subscribe
mood: alone

i took the hints too far
which one will do when
they've waited for hints
without hope
for this long

i am not a paper doll
to line up hand to hand
with all the other paper dolls
one big smiling
happy family

what was my quiet hunger
is now an obvious growl
and hard to hide
when i can
smell your fear

words in edgewise: (0)

date: Jun 1st, 2006 7:03:07 pm - Subscribe
mood: bitter

i am not yours
to bend
to break
to mend
to have
to hold
to fold inside
some lie
to buy
to charm
to wear
a prize
on your arm
not yours to
to lose
to find
to amuse
to design
a new frame
of mind
to cure....
i am mine
not yours.

15 May 2006
words in edgewise: (0)

violent fantasy sequence
date: Jun 1st, 2006 7:01:39 pm - Subscribe
mood: pissed off
postmark: .^.

you raise the beast in me
make me want to rip the strings
from your guitars
and strangle you
and mangle your remains.

words in edgewise: (0)

don't do me any favours
date: Jun 1st, 2006 6:59:13 pm - Subscribe
mood: indescribable

were i to need a friend, indeed,
someone to feed my head
don't do me any favours
be my enemy instead

if i should fall within your reach
to offer me a hand
don't do me any favours
leave me alone to stand

should you notice if i bleed
from some neglected wound
don't pause to make a tourniquet
it will be over soon

and when i die, as i have lived,
quite brusque and suddenly
don't do me any favours
by speaking well of me.

19 April 2006 by d~
words in edgewise: (0)

no sleep 'til....
date: Jun 1st, 2006 6:34:54 pm - Subscribe
mood: manic

i hate sleeping.
waste of time.
hate doing anything
because i have to.
and sometimes
i have to

i have strange dreams
of enormous houses
coming out of cliffs
with hundreds of rooms
and hundreds of
chasing me
and i fly.

but it's more like a leap
a bounding over trees
sort of thing.
and i can't seem to stop
a rubberband girl
a pogo stick person

and they can't stop
chasing me through
door upon door over
tree upon tree
and i can't be stopped
so it's circular monotony
broken only by
the ever-changing

so i wake more
exhausted than
before i tried
this sleep thing.

words in edgewise: (0)

plastic fantastic
date: Jun 1st, 2006 6:31:58 pm - Subscribe
mood: dirty
postmark: .^.

i am useless to you when
i am not nude
and willing

i am undesireable when
i am clothed
and human

i am worthless if
i am too sick
to swallow

i am nothing when
i am not
your receptacle.

words in edgewise: (0)

date: Jun 1st, 2006 6:27:33 pm - Subscribe
mood: sneaky

hold me
at arm's length
like you would
a snake
it's in my nature
to catch you
looking the
other way and
get my teeth
in and out
before you
feel it hit
while still
rubbing the
spot that's already
been bit.

words in edgewise: (0)

date: Jun 1st, 2006 6:22:31 pm - Subscribe
mood: wretched

my body a mess
from the stress
and the strain
and the same thing
so tired of the push
and the pull
the bitch and
the bull
all the time
fed up with
the lack
and the slack
and the do-nothing
jackass i'm with
done in by the weight
of the world
i don't live in
i quit.
words in edgewise: (0)

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