careful
I'm down about... 3 or 4 kgs.. I can't tell.
I'm at 45.3 kgs. I feel like a waste of human.
I tried calculating the pounds and its around 100. It's uneasy.

I feel like the biggest asshole in the world right now because I didn't go to the airport. Not that you'd care.


Your hair was wild around your face and your thumbs were pressed up close against each other in front of your lips where they held the top of the acorn. "Like this," you said, but you were laughing too hard; you couldn't show me how you made those little wedges with your thumbs on the wooden cap and blew through your knuckles to make an unholy whistle. You had been wearing those brand new Chuck Taylors, but you didn't mind walking through the woods. I remember that the wet leaves wrapped around your ankles like leeches and I am pretty sure that a bramble nicked your shirt, leaving a hole the size of a dime. I was hopelessly bad at whistling through an acorn top; you kept at it for hours, holding your hands over mine and telling me to get another damn acorn when the first cap shattered under the pressure of my clumsy little thumbs. Do you know how you love people more on certain days? It wasn't the way that your hair looked while it was falling in your eyes, or the feeling of your hands locked around mine, willing them to move a certain way.

It was because on that day, at least, you didn't give up.

i am sleazy
xoxo, salmon
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