Sunflowers.
Date: Feb 24th, 2007 9:19:42 pm - Subscribe
Mood: worthless
The ability to except being alone, and except your life for what it has become.
Can you except reality for what it really is?
Can you except your self for whoyou really are?
Is it possible to ever feel completely full?
Possible, yes.
Likely? No.
Your selfworth suddenly becomes nothing.
You are just one more person, trying to make it. Trying to live the fullest that you can.
It's hard. It's hard now. It's hard tomorrow. It'll be hard in ten years. Life throws you through so many loops, twists and turns, it's a never ending overflow of stress.
There are times where it's easy, times where you smile, times where you're glad you're who you are.
These short moments in your life, make you feel like it's worth it. Living feels almost reasonable, and like you're supposed to do what you're doing. Again, like you're supposed to be who you are.
BUT.
The days are lonely, and nights are even lonelier. Will you make it through? Should you feel accomplished just for living the next day? Just for getting out of bed? Just for holding on to reality?
When you lay in bed at night, are you satisfied with what you've done that day?
It strikes. You've heard of it so many times. It has become your worst nightmare. It has been in your genes since you were born. It has finally conquered you.
You feel like living one day, means nothing. The only thing it means is that you're name wont be in tomorrows obituaries.
The weight of existance is gone.
The breeze blows through your hair.
The fresh smell of sunflowers.
Freedom.
Ten feet below, has suddenly become miles above. A happiness you've never felt before. To feel truely high, truely lifted, truely free.
Do you regret the things you've done?
No.
Exsistance has finally been conquered. You beat life, before life could beat you.
Did you really win?
That's up for you to decide.
Blog fin.
(I'll probably end up priviting this anyways, like most of my meaningful entries. Sorry for any errors, or if it's confusing. It's sort of my take on life at the moment. I'm almost done reading a book about suicide, so I guess it was on my mind while I was writing this. I'm sorry if my writing technique isn't all that great..)
And from the sidelines you'd see me run, until I'm out of breath. Living the good life, I left for dead.. the sorrowful Midwest. Well I did my best... to keep my head.
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zanjui - February 24th, 2007 |
