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eadwine Feel like a helpdesk - Subscribe
It's been a long weekend, where on Saturday morning we took dad's computer to the shop to get it repaired. The good thing was that the guy called him after only a few hours and told him he could pick it up again. What turned out was a problem in the hard drive section. There are two drives in the system, an IDE and a SATA drive, if I remember correctly, and the Maxtor drive of the two is set as first drive, the boot drive. However sometimes when the computer is reset the bios gets reset at the hard drive section and the other drive is suddenly placed as leading drive, in which case there is nothing to boot from since the C drive is on the Maxtor. Swap those two back around and things are fixed again. Thank goodness it was that simple and now my dad knows where to look should this happen again in the future.

That was two trips, one to drop it off, the other to pick it up again, and then in the evening my dad contacted me again, this time for someone he knows, used to live two houses down. He had problems with his internet. I asked my dad jokingly if he uses the same provider he did, and to my surprise, yep, he does. Also a new connection, just like my dad used to have. I wondered what exactly was going on, but if he didn't have internet it would be easily fixed as he is on the same network as I am and as my dad is.

When we got to his new place everything was still barren of course, he had just started, but his internet connection and phone line was running. Oh, so he was lucky enough to get the internet to work off the bat. He was now working on entering a serial number of the modem in the configuration program and he couldn't find the last two numbers. I thought that very strange, looked on the bottom and indeed, no serial number last two digits. I went online and did some searching and came up with nothing, so it wasn't anything common. Then he said he wanted to install that stuff to get the wireless going. I took one look at the modem and told him that this was NOT a wireless modem. Yes it was! He argued. I managed to convince him, more because my dad HAS a wireless modem, same type, and he has this little stick on it. Also, this guy's modem only had two ethernet slots. Then he dug up his order paper, and it said: 4-port wireless modem. That was definitely not what he had gotten so he has to contact the helpdesk now, and they will send him a box in which he can return the modem. After checking on my dad's modem it was explained why he couldn't set up the serial number; the wireless modems have the two added digits, the non-wireless ones do not, plain and simple.

Too bad we were not able to solve his problem but at least he knew he had internet now as that thing worked, thank goodness, so no need to configure the modem at all.

Sunday morning another friend of the family called me and asked me if I could help him out putting something up on the internet to sell it. I could easily do that for him, but he wanted to do it himself. Tomorrow afternoon I will go over right after work and show him how to do it, and hopefully he will get it quickly enough. I will have to show him how to resize a picture because he is the kind of guy who would upload a 1600x1200 picture on a website in order to sell the item. Of course with a picture that size he isn't going to get very far. The remainder is simply to follow the instructions on the sales site. Wait and see how that goes, but I hope not too long, tomorrow is a heavy enough day with a sort of new client. At least I have been there before so I know roughly where she has put the materials. I am hoping for outside window washing really, which is the easiest thing one can do at a newish client.

I also finished my first little embroidery project, spring, but I was met with a nice surprise when I wanted to take a picture of it. In the morning when I took my latest progress picture things were still normal, nothing wrong and taking pictures just peachy.



But later on that afternoon, when the project was finished the camera was giving me trouble with the white balance, and at times it just didn't give me an image at all. I even tried today after having a proper set of batteries charged for the full 24 hours, but nope. The first start it had was a black image. Then when I turned it off and on again I did get an image, but it was like it couldn't calculate the white, since it turned all white into a minor blueish tint.



It also flickered from normal white to that blueish, so I think it is a contact problem somewhere inside the camera. Quite a bummer alright. Of course the warranty was no longer valid, considering this camera was purchased in October 2003, but I am going to take it to the shop this coming Friday afternoon to see if they can do anything about it. The camera was expensive enough when purchased to warrant a repair, and I will let them know what I saw and noticed and hopefully I will get it back in normal working order again. *crosses fingers*

In the evening I was again contacted by my dad about this friend who was trying to get the internet going using his old modem, one he bought for himself a long time ago. That one also happens to be the same brand as my dad used to have, only instead of black it was blue. So.. off we went again and we saw that all the lights stayed on. Then we decided to try with my dad's power supply (dad brought his own old modem along) and with that one it worked. Turns out the man had connected it to a 5V thing, instead of a 12V that it needed. He grabbed the wrong one. *hand forehead* So.. we connected the thing using my dad's cables and the lights were acting normal again. He said he didn't have access and when I first tried to open up Google it indeed didn't work, but then I decided to load the page again and whop, internet à la carte, hehe. It worked.

Then he had another problem, he couldn't get to his provider's mail box using Outlook Express. Everything was set ok, up to the port number and all, followed the exact instructions, but, nothing. I told him to fire it up so I could see it and I immediately saw what was wrong. The last letter of the provider's name ends with a q, he made it a g. No wonder! He changed that around in the settings and his emails started coming in just peachy. He sure was a happy camper! Now at least he has a working modem for after sending the wrong one back and until the new wireless will come in.

My dad had told me in the afternoon that he couldn't get his laptop connected to the cable that was in the desktop, the internet simply didn't work on that though it DID work on the upstairs ethernet cable. The desktop worked fine, so I figured it would have to be the plug, thinking the port in the laptop was a little more critical than the one in the desktop. After connecting a new plug to the cable it indeed did work. Until I turned the laptop 90 degrees to sit at it instead of crouch over. Gone was the connection and then of course my suspicion was transferred from the plug to the port. I moved the plug a gentle bit inside the port while my dad was looking at the modem and as I moved he said on off on off. It was a contact issue inside the laptop port. When I lifted the wire gently it would connect and have internet. Irritating issue that I don't know if it can be easily fixed. Hopefully the computer shop guy knows something. Mind, he never charged my dad a dime when he solved that hard drive problem.

This morning when I was checking my email and forums before going to work there was this racket going on outside and yet still it seemed like it was on the inside. When I checked I saw these two men working on the house. They were putting new cement between the bricks, cement that had been drilled out from between them last Friday and had caused such a terrible mess on my little paved bit in front of the window. At least they were filling things back up before a new rain period would start, all they have to do now is the backside and the shed. The latter needing it the most. I knew as I left that when I would get home I would have my work set out for me alright, them being done on that side and the window and walk looking like sand heaps...

I left for work and the morning client went just peachy. Nothing strange and I cleaned there a little bit more than I usually do, putting a little bit extra effort in, but it was needed alright! Usually I dust with a dust cloth, this time since I had to wash windows on the inside I had water along with me, so I dusted using that, which of course makes a big difference. Much cleaner with that. I was done a little early and went off to the shops to do the grocery shopping and then it was lunch break time.

After that I got to my afternoon client and helped someone bring some stuff up upstairs. Apparently they were new folk and me helping them enabled them to haul everything upstairs in one go instead of in two, so.. I grabbed something and took it to their door and then went up yet another floor. She was waiting for me, the door already open, and dressed up nice and neat. Turned out she had already done everything, and all I had to do was clean out the toilet and the kitchen a bit, and then we would go to her daughter who was celebrating her 50th birthday. If I would be so kind to take her there by car. Of course I would be, no problem at all, so come 14:30 we went downstairs and loaded her stuff in my car and off we went. It was a short stretch, and at least I got to see how her daughter lives. Interesting alright, lots of wood, but still it gives me a bit of an impersonal impression. Anyway.. it was fun since we were just sitting there and talking and stuff instead of working and around 15:50 I left to go home.

I went by the car wash and washed all the sandy gunk off my car that had accumulated on it, and then I left for home to do the same for my windows on the front side. Man were those dirty! To my pleasant surprise they had cleaned the pavement, so I didn't have to sweep and gather junk from that and only had to clean those windows. At least one can see through them again, and considering tomorrow it was going to be much cooler than today I figured today would be the best time. It isn't much work after all. But man, those things were dirty, cement all over them. It washed off easily thank goodness!

I just sent my dad a message over Yahoo telling him I loved him. It is something I do not easily say as I feel very awkward when doing so. If you imagine I cannot even tell my cat it is something I do not say just like that. It felt very weird, and strange, but I am pretty sure he will like it when he sees it when he gets back home. Still.. strange, I cannot really describe it accurately.

Anyway.. late yet again. Two clients tomorrow and then after that helping that friend with the sale site. Busy day ahead, so.. time to call it a night.
Mood: helpful

eadwine The bunny improved Tuesday, April 3rd 2007 @ 15:54 - Subscribe
Shorty in between entry, but I managed to snap a proper picture of it today, here it is:
Mood: glad

eadwine Messy back yard full of cement and dust Tuesday, April 3rd 2007 @ 20:14 - Subscribe
The morning started with a nice racket starting about exactly at 08:00. I went on a search to see if maybe someone was doing something outside, but as I went downstairs I realized they were working on the cement bits at the back of the house, removing them to be exact. I knew I could expect a nice big mess when I got home, and I quickly closed the bedroom windows which were open only a crack. A crack is enough for the dust to get in though, so.. closing it was a wise decision.

Once at work I told my client the package had come in and I showed her my little embroidered bunny and she totally loved it. It was beautiful, and coming from her that is quite a compliment. I did my normal work and just before twelve I was done.

When we got downstairs the daughter of the Thursday client was waiting for me, the one that I got the replacement chatterbox for. I went with her for a brief visit to her mother and saw that she was doing well indeed. She had gained some weight and according to the daughter is living from meal to meal. In due time she will likely get out more, but currently she doesn't really get out of her room.

After my brief visit of a few minutes I raced out of there to the office to pick up another little Easter gift box, since last Friday I didn't know yet that I was going to get a replacement address on Tuesday, and I thought it would be a nice thing to at least make sure this lady also got her little gift. They had plenty left over when I saw the big box containing them, no problem.

I was able to leave from there rather quickly as well, so I had plenty of time left to eat my lunch and then left for the second client. It was indeed someone I had been to a few times before, and her regular helper had been sent on vacation (too many hours, sound familiar?). This lady is extremely clean and needless to say it is a joy to work there since she leaves no mess. Time flew by and I was on my way to help out that friend in no time.

He was surprised to see me there early, He had taken the picture already so I showed him to resize it to 400 width, which is acceptable on most places and isn't too big at all. Then we proceeded to fill out the form and posted the cabinet on the sales site. Just earlier on he called me all enthusiastic that eight people had looked at it already. I told him to take two off since two of those hits were my dad and I. Likely more, but I didn't want to dampen his enthusiasm.

After picking up some things at the grocery store I was glad to be home again where I indeed found a big mess at the back of the house where all the cement had been taken out between the bricks. Some of the spots were in such a bad condition that the bricks had come loose. The one downside and at the same time upside again is that I cannot seem to get the garden gate to lock up anymore. Only the slide locks work, but the key cannot be turned anymore.

Now I used to be able to lock it by simply lifting the door a little bit, but even that doesn't work anymore, so.. I can write a letter again telling them about the fact that I can no longer lock that door, and of course I will leave out that it was hard before the workers were there. *winks* That is the upside: with a bit of luck I can get the rental company to re-attach the door so this time it will lock nice and easy and without me having to lift the door.

First though I have to wait till the new cement is in so I can let that harden before some other workers ruin the new stuff. They even did my shed, so, that one will show the most improvement when done. I can't wait. I hope they will apply the new cement tomorrow because it is due to rain on Friday.
Mood: impatient

eadwine Windows and Mepis, just not like you'd expect Thursday, April 5th 2007 @ 20:50 - Subscribe
Nothing terribly noteworthy happened in the past two days, Wednesday's work was as usual and went fine. The one fun part is that there were guys working next door to my client and she and I and they got to talking a bit. At some point it got to ages and they started guessing mine. It sure doesn't hurt one's ego when they guess you 20-21 years old *laughs*

The day was mostly spent washing windows, both the client's and my own. The new cement had been applied and I spent 5 full buckets of water on cleaning the windows on the back, so dirty they were! They are still not completely clean, but it will have to do. All I can hope for now is a good little shower to wash the muck off the remainder in the garden, like the plants and such. I also put a letter in the mailbox of the rental company about the garden door not locking anymore. Wait and see when they will respond to that.

Today was spent cleaning some doors and doing the basic stuff. Then we went grocery shopping together and it was time after that. Tomorrow I am going in half an hour early. Client is still sick, and groceries are in order there too. I already packed my camera to go with me and after I am done I am going to pick up my dad to go to the city and hopefully the shop will be able to do something about it. We'll go other stuff shopping while we're at it, considering we're in the city then anyway.

I tried the new livecd of mepis 6.5 final release, and I am sorry to say: not happy with it. Some vital things that I use were removed, copying a config file over did not sort out the problem that I had with the display and the screen flickering, so I am happily staying on my now trusty 6.0. The only issue I have managed to find with that is the kicker crashing every now and then when I shut the computer down. Biggie.

The new livecd gave me a headache, literally, and even though everything panned out, ctrl alt backspace to restart x froze my system. Twice over. I had a hell of a time booting at times, however the last two tries went alright. Plain and simple fact of the matter is that what has been upgraded is stuff I am either already using, or is stuff that I don't need. Beryl didn't work even though I don't have nvidia stuff. Nah.. I am throwing in the towel on it and will continue to use the stable install.

I know it may not be Warren's fault, but what irritates me is that something that has been working just fine since pro mepis 2005 beta 3 suddenly became obsolete in this 6.5 final. Back when I installed the pro, pro was already outdated so... years of working fine and then the change. Ah well.. I will use 6.0 but if the trend keeps going this will be MY final version, not just A final version.
Mood: disappointed

eadwine Murphy's Law Sunday, April 8th 2007 @ 23:03 - Subscribe
Apparently some folks still don't understand my objections regarding the content taking without my permission issue. Feel free to disagree with me, feel free to blatantly copy paste other peoples' stuff, just don't ever do it with my content without my permission, for I will come after you as soon as I find out!

Linking to my blog is fine, putting up content without my consent from the blog is a definite no no. If people don't understand it now I don't know how to explain this any better. You don't steal things from other writers, then don't steal it from me either.

The damn issue kept me busy during my morning, trying to explain to folks the what and why of what happened and why I was upset about it, but I did get some useful stuff done today: shortening pant legs. Hmm.. just thinking to myself here, but as I am typing this I cannot help but think how TERRIBLY interesting a content this particular statement must be for a Linux user expecting to be linked to a review site. *shakes head and laughs*

It's been interesting alright. Finding out about it and taking action, my blog being considered a news site, a site with articles, which it is not. Does this read like one? And then: who the hell of most Linux users is interested in my shortening pants legs? Hey, anyone into cross stitching or sewing? Or maybe reading my stories about working in a home health aide environment? Nah, I guess the Linux news searchers are not interested in that at all, and with good right; I'd bore myself stiff if I wasn't writing this stuff.

If you follow my blog religiously *waves at those folks* you know better what this bloggie is about. It's about how I experience things, how I look at the world, and my words are sort of sacred to me, since they are MY experiences, not someone else's, and you don't take those without asking, plain and simple. Feel irritated reading this? Fine, but this is a BLOG, MY blog, and I have got something to get off my chest here so I will.

*groan* Enough with the stupid shit and on to normal writing.

I heard side and side that a mepis user was afraid to have lost me from mepis due to the 6.5 final not working properly for me. Let me put that user and possible other users at ease: no worries, I am not moving away from mepis, I am just not moving to 6.5 and will stick with this 6.0 version. Considering it runs all that I want and need running there really is no need for me to upgrade. I used 2005pro beta3 for two years, the last year without any upgrades at all, and it worked fine for me as well. I am just not update happy; if I fear or find something doesn't work I simply don't use it and stick with what does. Who knows what 7 will do, but you can count your hiney on it that come the first new beta I will be whining about that flicker issue if it is still there! *laughs*

Friday was different, in more ways than one. The client was still ill, and while I worked she sawed over Mirkwood forest. Without yapping time things were done much faster of course, and I was allowed to leave early yet she called me after I got home, telling me office had called her. She had told them I was doing grocery shopping for her (tell the truth, it's ok, really!), so I was kind of holding my breath when I called them on my cell phone.

It wasn't about extra work. It was about my Wednesday client who had died. The man whom I took to the graveyard, the one I back then thought would die soon. He hung on quite a long time and was actually getting better again after his fall. He gained some (SOME, just a wee bit) weight, and he came across less unstable on the legs. He wanted to live, and I expected him to live, but, unfortunately, it was not meant to be. It's a shame he's gone, but I think it is for the best for him. He is with his wife again, assuming there is such a thing as seeing your wife again. Knowing spirits though, I think there is such a thing as kindreds searching for each other.

It is strange, when I had hung up I started thinking about my last goodbye. That was really the last one. He likely had a cardiac arrest on Thursday night to Friday morning somewhere. All I can hope is that he didn't notice and had it in his sleep and died peacefully. I am also glad that he didn't have the arrest when I was there! Boy would that be a weird experience. I have sat next to a client once, he didn't die on me right then and there, but he stopped breathing numerous times, and I found that I was at peace with it. The difference is that he was very ill and didn't really want to live anymore either. And also the fact that he seemed to be going peacefully, slipping away, where a cardiac arrest is something very scary to both the person getting it and the person being there when it happens.

This man never got another helper than me. Whenever I was sick or on holiday he either skipped a week or was moved to another day. And I also started thinking on what I had done there. I had washed his windows for Easter. It felt like a waste of energy now *laughs* and I am sure he would laugh about that one too, if he could. I will buy a mourning card on Tuesday and put it in the mailbox there. I have worked there for almost a year, and always in good pleasure, and at least I will remember him the way that he was, complete with his silly artificial upper teeth that clacked down when he laughed.

The afternoon was spent going to the camera store where, long story short, they couldn't do anything about my camera. It in fact behaved nicely when there. Their research costs start at 180 freaking Euros, which is insane. It's cheaper to just buy a new camera should it really die on me. Considering the ride in the car apparently fixed things I am keeping my diagnosis to a contact that is not connecting proper anymore, and next time it's going to act up we will simply go for a drive again.

I snapped a proper image of the second cross stitch project, summer, after it was framed and am now already working on the fall one.



I have already decided on a new kit, and when I found out the difference in pricing between the Dutch supplier that I got the seasons kit from and sellers on Ebay with a good feedback score I decided to buy that next one on Ebay. On the small projects it barely makes a difference, but on the more extensive ones the store here makes a 200% profit. Considering the kits' prices on Ebay I have come to the conclusion that it is worth it to get a second kit from there, so in total two big kits instead of one.



It took me quite a few hours to find the one I liked best. I had already decided on a kittie kit, but wanted something more landscapey to go along with it. I had half and half decided on something, but then when I started looking for a better image of that one my eye fell on this particular project, and I liked it even better because it is so nice and detailed. All I am waiting for is one more seller to respond before making a decision and also for funds to reach the paypal account, as it is Easter here, tomorrow still, and funds won't get there till Tuesday at the earliest.

Saturday was paint the door day. Early in the morning, after the cat settled down and snored away in her hammock I went downstairs and worked on that back door that I had such problems with in the past. Now the color matches the frame as well and all that is left to do is the windows that open up. I will do those another time though, maybe when I have some time off or something, we'll see. At least that door is now all finished. I was lucky too, when I was about to remove the sticky tape it started to rain so I had to quickly put the eye back in the door that the hook latches on to and keeps the door a bit ajar and then I finished the removal of tape from the inside of the house, rather than having the door open all the way and working there. I also immediately tossed work material that I had used. I am not going to turpentine the heck out of something that costs less than 3 Euros in total. I must say, I am happy with the result, but what always happens is the following: fresh paint + fly = interesting result. ALWAYS happens, Murphy's Law.
Mood: groaning

eadwine Where do you want it then? Wednesday, April 11th 2007 @ 20:48 - Subscribe
Tuesday morning felt weird. It was completely off due to the fact that I didn't have a Monday in the week, and it's amazing how off kilter and how long it can make a week seem. I am glad it is Thursday already tomorrow, only half a day and then home again. I found out that due to all of the events of late, losing three clients in less than a month time, I need a break and I need it fast.

I have decided to take the week of the 23rd till the 27th off and then later on in June another week, or maybe even two. I have decided that I can better take the best option for me now, which is not to save up my days, but to swing a hole in them instead of having them paid out and not really count. So.. two more weeks of work, well, one and a half, and then I have a long week off. I am not going anywhere, I am going to be at home, and try to get a lot of rest, and I am not talking physical rest, but mostly mental rest. At times I wish I had a laptop to bring along with me so I can write at other locations than at home. I have one, but it's hella old and the battery life lasts not too long. Ah well.. we'll see what I am going to do in that week, at least give the brain a rest.

Yesterday morning was a bit of confrontation. My usual care for the client was misinterpreted as overly watchful and she called me on it. I apologized to her for doing that and I will try not to do it again (or at least, be more careful of it so it doesn't show as much). Having a client die on you just does things to you. When I was there I kept a strict eye on the man, though I doubt he ever noticed, but if he did he never complained about it. I just didn't want him to fall again, that was all. I guess that watchfulness has transferred to my weaker clients, and she IS one of them. *sigh* Also a reason why I decided a holiday is good for me, I need some time to recharge and recenter myself.

The stupid thing that happened was when I was washing windows. From a long time ago I remembered her saying it was dirty to put things on the floor, so instead of putting things on the floor when taking them off the window sill I put them on the table. There is a crocheted rug like thing on there on which I put it, thinking that flipping it back to put them bare on the table would be a bad call too, scratches and all.

What does she say? "Don't put them on the table like that, then I will have to wash the rug again. Just put them on the floor."

*twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three big breath* Ok, I'll put them on the floor. I know not to argue, no use, but at that particular time, with all the stuff in mind that I had, I was ready to throw the stuff somewhere not so pretty. Along with her not wanting me to watch her so much and then added to that her watching ME like a hawk.. that pretty much almost pushed me over and I kept telling myself to calm the fuck down, this is not a big deal, this is just a comment and to not overreact to it in my head. I think I managed somewhat, and the rest of the morning went fine, but urgh.

And then they called in from the office too, telling me they had a new address for me for Wednesday afternoon. Fine by me (although I was secretly hoping for them to not have something this one time), and I wrote down the data. Then a lot of racket in the background and the team leader getting back to me that the afternoon client was already having his regular helper there doing overtime. Basically it boiled down to me not having to work the afternoon, and I was not sorry about that one at all. The team leader had also received a condolence card for me from the family of that client.

I picked it up and read on there that the service was actually on that very same day. With the afternoon off I would be able to go there. However, I decided not to. I didn't have the energy to sit out an entire service let alone deal with all the emotions it would bring along. I had plenty of my own, and I didn't really want other people adding to the bunch. I decided to go and buy a nice card for them and wrote a few words in it. After putting that in the man's mail box I went home and spent a quiet afternoon there. The evening was loud enough with a hair cut scheduled. At least I don't have to look through a curtain anymore.

I managed to finish the fall cross stitch project last night and just this evening I have started the winter one.



Also, I woke up very early this morning due to a nightmare about the client, unbelievable how these things work around in your subconsciousness. But because I did I was able to put a buy it now on the kitties, since my money had finally arrived in the PayPal account. The cove one is going to end tomorrow around this time, and it is unlikely someone will outbid me there, so that one will be on its way to me soon enough as well. I better finish the winter one soon, because I will want to start on either the kitties or the house when it comes in.

The morning went by as usual, the afternoon client was the new one where I left a big fat positive mark in her book! I did the usual things, we talked a lot, we watched the new baby princess (good thing most elderly ladies just LOVE that stuff) and I did a few things non standard like clean out her vacuum cleaner head, find a handkerchief that was under the bed, right smack in the center too, I got a glob of melt glue off of her counter and I set her microwave clock to summer time as I was working.

I actually left a little late there, but it was very much worth it, and she said that she hoped to see me again sometime. I told her that when her help wasn't going to be there again that she shouldn't hesitate and ask for me. She would most definitely do that! This is a client that is VERY good for my reputation, someone who will actually spread the word on liking me. So.. a 100% good replacement for the afternoon and she totally made me forget where I would have otherwise worked had the client still been alive, and that is a good thing. Thank goodness for very nice people who give you good energy and the will to move on.
Mood: tired

eadwine I won Thursday, April 12th 2007 @ 21:18 - Subscribe
Well.. I now also have won the cove house cross stitch kit. A bit different than I thought I would do, from another seller. One I had had contact with too, but she was second choice. The one I bid on had a buy it now of 18.50, and the bid started at 16.50. Considering I had found that other one who sold on buy it now for 17.25 I figured I would toy a little and bid regular on the first, with a max bid of 18.50, which I was fine with paying as the person was so nice and accommodating.

It turned out interesting. Someone likely put a buy it now bid in, and the result is that the person now has to pay 19.00 for the item since I had bid the 18.50. Poor person. Sorry about that *chuckles* In any case.. I could either try for 19.50 or go for 17.25. There is little to no difference in shipping cost, so this 17.25 one is now definitely cheaper either way and I went with her. Wait and see when I will get a response to my email about shipping cost as she offered two ways and I am not going to pick either one until I know how long they will take.

So.. if I lost you somewhere in all those numbers... I won, but differently. I will at least get both kits now, the kitties and the cove home. Yay!

Other than that.. anything noteworthy? Hmm.. dad and I are going into town tomorrow afternoon to buy me a hose and sprinkler system. At least, that is what I think we are going to buy as I am not quite sure yet, however, the watering the plants using nothing more than a 1 liter measuring cup days are soon to be over. I thought about getting me one of those pouring things, but to wait till THOSE are full and then having to drag that heavy motherfucker (pardon my French, but honestly, to lift those out of the sink when they are full?? Anyway..) out to the garden and pour.. nah. Bad solution. I need something better than that and a hose is likely the best option. I will still have to run it from the kitchen as I have no outside tap, but that is something that can be worked around. Wait and see what I end up with.

Oh yeah.. I changed the layout a little. I am now freefoto free and have my own picture on the side there. I took it this afternoon with my Canon camera that until now has behaved just like it used to do before it started acting funny. The macro setting works just peachy in any case. This picture makes it look as if I have this really big garden full of flowers, but that is not the case. It is all deception, but it is good looking deception though! The flower is the one with the square around it, at least.. I think that is the one. I cannot be far off as it was taken from that batch there.



I also took a nice detailed picture of the inside of a tulip. This is what a tulip looks like when you are a bee flying at about 6cm from the main stem.



I really like the layout now. I also added an RSS button in there since there were some folks having trouble finding the feed, and I changed the link colors and such to match the new main image of the template.

Hmm.. thinking if anything else happened that is worth mentioning.. not really. Oh.. I slept wonderfully last night, compared to the night before where I had this disturbing dream and woke up nice and early. A bit too early that is. Thank goodness it didn't linger for too long and let's hope tonight will be no different.
Mood: pleased

eadwine Baby food and garden stuff Saturday, April 14th 2007 @ 23:51 - Subscribe
That is pretty much my deal, at least for these past two days it was. When I got to the client she was still ill and is rapidly losing weight. I told her that I was about to load her up in the car and take her to the emergency room, since this is ridiculous. The doctor told her to take paracetamol tablets daily, and this should cure her? *shakes head* Sometimes doctors are morons, I mean, look at my ears: moron caused that.

Anyway.. we talked about it, and she told me she would take it for a few more days. She managed to eat still, one slice of bread per meal, but that doesn't go down easily though. It's dry and takes an hour to chew away. I suggested the astronaut food option, even though I don't like that much, and then she suggested something else: baby food. We have these jars here for various age groups, and we thought about it a bit and figured: hey, a kid's gotta grow, the things must contain vitamins and fibers and stuff like that. More than just a plain slice of bread with honey in any case. So.. I was shipped out to buy baby food.

It sure was different to buy that stuff. Needless to say I didn't even know where it was in the market, and when I finally found it I was amazed by the amount of choice that was there. I bought four flavors that I figured she would like, and also got a few bananas as well and went on back again. When I got there again I put the content in a pan and slowly heated it, and come coffee (or rather, tea) break she was eating this bowl of hot food. And it went in and down in a jiffy. Where before she took an hour to eat a slice of bread, this stuff went down in less than ten minutes. I was mighty pleased alright. The catch: it tasted good (GOOD sign, loss of taste is a baaad thing), and it slid down easily since it was just plain goo.

I told her to try and eat at least three of those things a day, and soon enough her energy level would improve. I am pretty sure that come next week she will feel a whole lot better already, if only for the necessary nutrients being added to the system. And once she feels better and gains a bit of energy she will find the will to start cooking normally again and regain the weight she has lost over the past three weeks. I told her literally that I do not wish to lose another client here!

I was released early and drove straight home, had lunch and then picked up my dad after which a hunt for hoses started. I bought me a nice Gardena system, and picked the smallest sprinkler of the lot to water the garden here. Good thing I did, the larger one would have been way too big.

Turning it on wasn't a challenge, though I was a little scared at first doing it. Just like with all new things that I encounter, this was scary. But.. I connected all the stuff and set it up and ran back and forth while sliding the thing around finding the right position. I didn't even get wet. When I finally had it sitting there correctly I let it go for just under two hours.



It sure looks a lot better now in the back, I did some weeding before I started sprinkling and the ground was just blowing away with the wind, desert like dusty. I had to weed away from the wind in order to not breathe the stuff... blah. It smelled nice when it was done, and I even managed to keep it out of my neighbor's yard there, considering there was laundry hanging to dry.

As that was running my dad called me, telling me he had found info about us online. Oh? Turns out, long story short, that someone had somehow obtained genealogical info and put it online without our permission. The obtaining of the info is legal of course, it is done all around the world and my family was traced back to the 1100s, but it is very most likely NOT legal to post all that information online without my consent, or my dad's, or that of my other family members for that matter. He contacted his nephew and he was similarly angry and appalled by what he had seen.

I managed to find information about the site using the whois command in Linux Konsole and mailed all that popped up to my dad. Turns out this sucker of a person registered his domain using his own data. When I got my domain I made sure that the host signed up for it, so that when whois info is being requested it does not show my data but theirs. For privacy sake this is the smart way to do it. In any case, this person obviously didn't have the wits to do this and to top it off he put his unlisted number on there as well. Now we have plenty of data to make his life miserable. My dad has contacted an agency to ask about the legal stance on this and all we can do now is wait. A few more days won't hurt things, but I did explain to my dad what fun it would be for that guy to get the stuff out of Google. I looked into that a long time ago, it wasn't too easy.

This is the first time that when I Google on my first and last name stuff about me comes up. I have been so anal about putting my real info out on sites, that is why I have a nick in the first place, and now this person just up and takes my name and birth date and all the other stuff and puts it online for the world to see. Thank you very much for ruining seven years of total privacy where my real name online is concerned. *mutters*

This morning I woke up at 8:30 and when I logged on to Yahoo saw that dad had left a message that he was off to the store to exchange something he had bought yesterday and after that he was going to the city to get him a new phone. One without wireless, just plain old fashioned kind of phone. I called him, got ready to leave and was in the car about 20 minutes after I had woken up. How is that for fast. We got three phones, no less, one with an alarm feature (need to check that out, it didn't work proper when we tested it) and all three with hands free. It is hard to get the things here still, wireless being the norm.

We got a few other things, amongst which an animal hook thingy that I can put in the ground and attach the cat's leash to, and then went back to the car. It was hellishly hot, and later on when home I discovered it has never been this hot in history on this day. 27,6 Celsius, insane for 15 April, and we are getting another one tomorrow. Summer will be hell to live through, if this keeps up!

After I got back home I searched online for garden sets and managed to find one for 40 Euros, not bad, and Hartman brand, which is not the cheapest at all, a leading brand in garden sets, for as far as I know. In any case, it consisted out of four seats with adjustable backs, fitting cushions for all of them and one little tray that attaches to the seat, and then a round table to go with it. That set is large enough for my little back yard, but I did move three seats and cushions to the shed, since I can only sit on one at a time. I got so irritated at my trash bins while rearranging that I went in the shed, moved stuff around in there and then put those two bins in there as well. It was taking up the space where I wanted to sit, it being in the shade and all, and I couldn't move them elsewhere as it looked silly.



In the evening I put the garden hose through the mail slot and watered the front yard so now both sides are good to go for a week. I do hope we will get some rain though, but it is not looking like it. What will happen is the temp dropping about 10C from Monday to Tuesday (yay, I thought we would only have the weekend with this hot stuff, apparently not), so on Tuesday it is going to feel like freezing. I love the warmer weather, don't get me wrong, but the change is a little too fast for even me to catch up on and I am sweating on it like any other person does.
Mood: hot

eadwine Waiting for results Tuesday, April 17th 2007 @ 20:47 - Subscribe
Sunday early in the evening the doorbell rang. My neighbor telling me my mirror had been kicked off the car. I was steaming, called my dad right away (it's his car after all!) and talked a bit with a person who found out about it. I managed to pop the mirror back on, but when dad and I went to the dealership on Monday after work they did find out something was broken. However it is not so broken that the functionality of the mirror is affected, so it can wait.

Wait till I have a garage for the car. Yep, I am entering a rental list for a garage. I have about had it with folks one way or the other vandalizing my car. In this case I managed to deduct it was kids playing with a ball and the ball knocking the mirror off, but it likely won't end here, and I have had it. This morning my dad went by the rental company to pick up a registry form which I am putting in their mailbox tomorrow morning, all filled out and all the areas checked that aren't too far away from where I live. The other sites where they have garages are waaaay on the other side of town. Wait and see how long it will take for one to become available. It doesn't have to have a light or anything. I will put my bike in it and bike home after parking the car. It's a bit of extra work, but it's worth it. I do not want to keep worrying whether or not my car is ok out there.

The hot weather held up until Monday evening, but even today, Tuesday, it was still quite warm to work in, but I managed. Monday went like usual, nothing upsetting or anything, and today was similar, though I had a slight nervous case, I was absolutely trying to avoid anything that might cause conflict of any kind. Not asking about things she held in her hands, not really going into it when she told me she couldn't figure out the stitching pattern she was working on. Only asking if she would need help, or rather keep trying to figure it out on her own. The latter being the case here. It went just fine, but I was still glad to be able to go to lunch.

The afternoon was interesting, new clients, and it was a couple. Haven't worked for a couple in a long time. It is different to work for a couple rather than a single, since couples don't need you as much for the social contacts, which usually results in less "fun" talk and more the serious work bits that are to be done. Not at this one couple though. Nice people, he was well into his 90s and still drove a car, amazing really. Very well in the brain section, both of them and he was the typical "wanna fix it all myself" kind of male, resulting in many a blown fuse over the past days as he was fiddling on fixing a microwave oven.

Ah well.. if he dies from that he will at least have an interesting death. *laughs*

It was 16:00 before I knew it, and was actually on my way home around 16:20, considering I chattered a bit after my time. No biggie for afternoons and I had nowhere to go anyway.

When I got home there was something interesting on my doormat. The kitties kit had arrived, and now all that needs to be dealt with is the cove one. That seller only replies to things once a day, and in the weekend not at all, so things are dreadfully slow as I have a question to ask before I can pay, regarding delivery times for two options. It isn't that big of a deal right now as I have the kitties to work on now. That package by the way is different from the one I have just finished up with. The colors are tied together into two big sections, and I have to sort them out myself. Curious how that will go, and good thing I am not color blind. The four seasons in any case are all done now, I just finished winter this evening.



I heard back from my dad regarding the person that put the genealogy online, and it turns out that what he did is indeed illegal. My dad has shown me a letter he wrote with, copied in there, the reply that he got from the authority, and also the request to remove it AND to contact Google to get it removed from search results and cache. I know this is possible but takes some effort on his side. Not my problem, it's his. The price to pay for being stupid. This Sunday we are taking the letter along for approval of the rest of the family and then it is going to be sent, registered, to that person. If no reply follows he will get the same thing in an email. This is not over yet, I want my real name OFF the internet!
Mood: accomplished

eadwine Tiny stitches, tiny steps to healing Wednesday, April 18th 2007 @ 22:11 - Subscribe
In two accounts there are tiny steps being made, but they are big steps regardless, at least.. for me they are. I had a dream about that client who had died a little while ago. I haven't dreamed of him since that one nightmare like dream, but this one was totally different, and I woke up crying, however less worried/disturbed/whathaveyou.

I was sent there to work for him, just like usual, and I know this scene took place after his death, since I said to him after sitting down: "They had told me you were dead". "Nah," he said, "don't be silly!" I knew he was though, considering we talked about it a little bit.

He was doing ok, and the thing that struck me as a little strange was that he was wearing thick black winter gloves, like he had cold hands. What I also noticed was that his furniture had moved, as I knew this was done by his children who were emptying the house. It was weird to talk to him while his furniture was being moved about, but he didn't really find it odd, and I knew that I was on a different plane than the down to earth one, as I felt things we going on around us, done by the children who had no notion of us sitting there talking.

I started to cry, and he told me not to, "Don't be silly girl", and he up and went to get me some paper hankies. He walked to the cupboard without any uncertainty in his balance, just up and walked, like he did when he was still healthy. He was still skinny, but he was strong, he was doing ok.

When I woke up then and there I knew it was one of those dreams that were not really dreams. What I also know is that it will be easier to make peace with things now, knowing he is alright. However I do wonder if he is still hanging around the place, considering he didn't want to die yet. It worries me a little, and I tried to go back to sleep to move back up the plane to tell him to move on, that it was ok to do so, but considering I had to wake up soon after that I never really got back to that level. I just hope he got the message.

Small steps to healing for me in any case, as I know I have gotten quite a blow from it. I don't feel it right off, but I know subconsciously it is there; I didn't take a week off on such short notice for nothing after all. I have been off kilter ever since that day, and hopefully the week off will enable me to center again.

This afternoon I had a new client, different, stiff a bit, in ways of dealing with people. I think I got through a bit though, but I will never have that bond with her that I have with my other regulars. That is ok though, she will be on my list only until her regular helper gets back from sick leave and then I will get other folks yet again.

In the early evening I started by sorting out the floss for the cross stitch work. Good thing I started with the Lanarte package, since the floss in that came pre-sorted. In this one you have to fiddle around yourself as to what is what. I mean.. the color taupe.. who on earth knows what color that looks like. But.. I managed and they are now hanging nicely on the chart. I stitched the first bits, and then made pictures of it for future reference, one with an inch measure next to it, for size sake. The whole is much bigger than shows in the stitch chart though.





Tiny alright, but much fun. I am marking what I have stitched with a blue marker, just to be able to keep track of things better than when I don't do that.

I also did something I always wanted to do. I bought a little grow chamber for plants, and seeds for long green beans. I have always wanted to try and grow some things, and considering I have this big section in the garden that I don't do anything with, I figured what the heck and am going to try. *giggles* Wait and see.

Well.. past midnight.. time to hit the sack for me. Tomorrow afternoon I have off, and I intend to use that afternoon for nice and quietness, and planting seeds. That kind of boring sounds really nice to me actually.
Mood: peering

eadwine What's up? Thursday, April 19th 2007 @ 20:44 - Subscribe
The ceiling, what else? Just my standard answer to that question, deal, heh.

Anyway.. I wrote 80% of the work list out this morning, all I had to do when I got home was enter and calculate the mileage for the period. That list will be given to the team leader tomorrow and after that my week holiday officially starts. I cannot wait.. this week has been hellishly slow, to my perception anyway.

I bought some new fabric at the market today after I was done at the client. I want to make a new gypsy skirt and wear it to the family gathering on Sunday, plus that I needed something "airy" for the upcoming warm days. I want one that was colorful yet with a different color setting. I think I managed just fine. The model of the skirt is a very wide gypsy skirt, and I love this skirt.



The fabric is a.. what would you call that.. "paint buckets fell over it"?



Anyway, lots of colors. The fabric is less flowy than that of the brown, but I haven't washed it yet. I will do that after it's finished. Usually I would do that before but this skirt is so wide that it doesn't matter if things shrink a bit after assembly. Tomorrow I will start on that one.

Today I did some more cross stitching. This thing is huge, but it is looking really really nice. I did make a rather big booboo; I stitched whole crosses where I should have done a whole section half crosses. Dernit... I carefully removed all the stitching and did the section anew. Now at least I know what to look for!

I set up the fan as well, and managed to break the rim that holds the front and back dishes together. The front dish popped too far on it, and when I tried to pull it back it went crack. Fish wire is very handy in these kinds of situations, as that is what I used to tie the two together now. Works like a charm too.

The remainder of the day was spent doing that cross stitch work, and watching DVDs. I finally finished Anaconda, which is a reasonable movie, but the end sucks my hiney. Bah.

Well.. one more day!
Mood: drained

eadwine Holiday! Friday, April 20th 2007 @ 22:34 - Subscribe
Finally that time hit, holiday time. As of this afternoon I have off till Tuesday the 1st of May, as by chance the 30th happens to be Queens Day and thus a day off automatically. I didn't plan it like this, but it sure is nice to start off on a short week, though it will be a busy one. I'll live, and that is something I don't have to think about right now.

This morning I still hadn't received a response from one of the sellers that I got a cross stitch kit from. The kitties arrived just fine, and right now I regret not having ordered the Cove one from them as well. I have sent more than a few mails to the seller, asking her to explain the difference to me in delivery times between two options, but I haven't received a reply about that at all. A day or two ago I saw she got a negative feedback due to things taking so long, so, I asked her if something was wrong, and that I would wait, if only she would keep me informed.

Needless to say, no response, and this morning an email went out to her suggesting a termination of sale, undoing everything so she is free to sell the kit again, and I am free to shop elsewhere for it. Having things take this long is not making me very confident in the kit being sent right away either. Thank goodness I haven't sent any money through PayPal to her yet!

I have reported the seller to Ebay as well, asking what I should do, and got the response that I should try to email again (did that more than once) or tell the seller I wanted out of the sale obligation (which I just did this morning). If that results in negative feedback I can email my emails on to the Ebay folks and they can undo the negative. If I don't hear anything by Sunday evening I am sending another email, this time making the thing final and then I am purchasing the Cove kit over at the seller I got the kitties from. At least I know they are swift senders, and they pack well to boot. The kitties arrived in perfect state after all. I intend to leave the feedback for the seller a blank. I will leave that stuff up to someone else, and as I am not the only one suffering from this whole response delay dealie, by the looks, this will be done in plenty.

I did my work at the morning client, and was again released early. Next week she will get a replacement and she told me she would have that girl work. Oh my, I fear for the thing. I told her that the one thing I would really like to see done is the shower, as that was our plan before she got sick, but got canceled due to her being sick and me doing other things. I can't wait to hear how that will go. Gotta wait two weeks to find out though.

I delivered my month slip and then learned my bi-weekly Tuesday afternoon client had been admitted to a nursery home. He will remain there for at least six months, as he is paralyzed on one side. Damn, I know he doesn't want to live like this. Personally I hope he either gets well really soon, or he will move on. This is no life, especially not if he is conscious about things, and KNOWS what is going on with him. I would most certainly be pissed if that sort of thing ever hit me and I would be sane enough of mind to realize what had happened to me!

On my walk to the office and again back to the car I walked past that one client's house where I scored the big points at. And, as if the devil played with it *winks* she was standing right at her window, and started waving. Needless to say I waved back at her enthusiastically. Nice lady, that is for sure!

I cleaned out the sewing room after I got home and had some lunch, and then started on the skirt. I don't know if I will have it all finished by the time I have to go to the family gathering, however, I am at least a long way there. All the parts have been cut, half of them have been serged, but I stopped doing the remainder when it hit midnight. I don't know how much of the table trembling of the machine is getting through to the neighbors, and even though I am not sitting right against either neighbor's wall I don't want to be a cause for trouble.

Hmm.. it's late again, I best start getting ready for bed. Tomorrow is a new day, we'll see how far I get.
Mood: relieved

eadwine Ebay thing solved Saturday, April 21st 2007 @ 21:45 - Subscribe
I got a reply from the ebay folks, telling me that by sending that email the purchase was void and I was free to purchase elsewhere, which I did. I ordered the Cove kit from the same folks I got the kitties from and that was it. Or so I thought. The seller then contacted me after all, told me she had been very ill, and sent me yet another copy of the explanation to me, in which I didn't find the shipping costs explained that I asked for.

Long story short, after her being offended even though I handled things nicely, she was ok with my canceling the purchase and I am not on a ban list or anything. Over and done with. She's a nice person though, we talked back and forth a bit, and we'll see if I hear from her again or not. At least the ebay thing is over and on Monday the other seller will ship out my new kit, which should get here a week after I think. The kitties got here fast in any case, I am wagering this one will as well. I have learned one thing, and that is to stick with a seller you know, rather than try different ones for a few Euros advantage.

In the mean time that this whole thing was going on I was making a skirt at high speed. It turned out really nice, but the difference between the washed state and the non washed state is obvious. There was a lot of starch in the fabric, which gave it this extreme voluminous look.



That look has gone and it has become a normal skirt again, though very long and wide. The circumference at the bottom is just over 18 feet, so that is saying something! Hopefully it will be dry tomorrow for me to wear! I didn't get to eat dinner till it was well past 20:00, but it was worth it, and at least it is done. It sure was tiresome though.. pfff!
Mood: tired

eadwine Family visit Monday, April 23rd 2007 @ 10:21 - Subscribe
When I looked out of the window I saw again this bunch of cars parked outside in front of the 3rd house down the street, and wondered what was going on. Yesterday I had also noticed them, but didn't really pay attention. I mean.. there are birthdays and all that which gather a lot of people, so..

Well, later on on Sunday morning I saw a hearse van parked outside. Oh shit.. that older lady had died, most likely. I cannot confirm it yet, but it is most likely her house. I don't pay too much attention to who exactly lives where, so..

Anyway.. the skirt was dry this morning and I was able to wear it. After having been washed it looked much better than before, when it was filled with starch still. I know I am allergic to the stuff, get a skin rash, but that left quickly enough and at the time of writing this is almost gone again, whew.

First off we went to wash the car, so we will have a nice and clean car when we show up, however.. it being near summer and all, you know what I mean with bug spray, right? So, needless to say, we arrived with a ton of bugs on the car's nose *mutter* At least the backside was clean!

We went and saw the new home of a niece of mine, she and her family will be moving around the first of June. It is a really nice little place, smaller than mine I think though, however it was hard to see. The backyard is definitely shorter. But it is situated in a much better neighborhood than she came from in a narrow sloping street. She was lucky to be able to pick what kitchen she wanted, complete to the knobs and everything, and the rental company will pretty much renovate the place so all they have to do is put wallpaper on, maybe paint it still, and flooring of course. The grass will need a desperate mowing by that time, that is for sure! *laughs*

After that we left for the birthday girl, and when we were all there my dad pulled out this letter he had written to be sent to this guy who put our branch of the family line on the internet (which, if you remember me telling, is against the law unless you have asked permission and gotten it from the people you are mentioning). A few of them didn't know about this yet, so they were met with a nice surprise there. No-one agreed with what was done, so the bottom line is that the guy will have to remove the entire branch as of my grandfather downward. AND remove it from Google's search engine and cache. This guy will not be pleased when he sees this letter with nine signatures on it, too bad letters cannot record facial expressions as people are reading them.

We had a fun day there, it was good to see them all again, and we made a niece once removed really happy by giving her my dad's old dect set of three phones. Hers were dying on her, so it was a very welcome gift.
Mood: relaxed

eadwine Fun outing with a friend Monday, April 23rd 2007 @ 22:23 - Subscribe
The first thing I did this morning, after getting up of course, was measure the curtains that I have for some fabric to blot out the light. Or at least, an amount of it. I wake up too early at times, because of the light shining through and even though the fabric is thick, it isn't blocking it out enough. This afternoon I got me five meters worth of the stuff that I am going to sew onto the backside tomorrow. Hopefully it will help out enough. It doesn't have to be 100%, but if it blocks out another 50% of what comes through now I will be very happy indeed.

At nine sharp I called the audiology center, and lo and behold, the guy I needed picked up the phone. We had a fun conversation, not having seen each other in years. He remembered me alright, not a hard thing to do really, since the first time I came in that store my last experience with anything audiology related was a traumatic one and I swore to never get another test again. However, this guy was so nice, patient, and waited for me to finish bawling my fear out, and then got to work with me. He adjusted the sound, he got everything the way I wanted it to be, and over the past 11 years that I have my Senso hearing aids they have never failed me. All computerized, there is no volume button and back when this was top of the line stuff.. 2500 guilders a pop in my ears, the most expensive bit of equipment money will ever buy me! *laughs*

In any case.. all I had done in all those years was get a new set of earpieces and some new tubes, but that is it, and I really need to get my hearing checked, and get my hearing aids adjusted to the new test results, since over the course of 11 years my hearing has worsened. I wonder how much, and I will find out soon enough. I have made an appointment for Wednesday, dad will yet again accompany me and we will know more when I have had my latest test. I hope I don't get a cold in the mean time, then the test will have to be rescheduled! Ugh, nono..

I am making good use of this free week alright. I talked to my friend and she will be picking up all her stuff that she left at my place when she left her boyfriend on Thursday evening. When all that is gone I will have more room again in my smallest bedroom and the shed, stuff is in both places. We met up in the afternoon and went fabric shopping, mighty fun.

When there I ran into the mother of the former friend that I used to live with that went mental on me, and she told me she wasn't in touch with her daughter anymore. Apparently missy got it up her ass again and is not listening to others again. This girl has got a lot of growing up to do. I told the mom that when you KNOW something you are doing isn't right, it is much easier to ignore that you are not right when you avoid those confronting you with your erroneous behavior. She hadn't looked at it that way yet, but she said it did make sense. The mother was afraid I didn't want contact with her anymore either, and I told her: "What have you done to me then? Nothing". When someone's relative is being a stupid dick to me, that does not mean that the person herself is then also on my blacklist.

What she told me didn't strike me as odd. This girl hasn't changed in the years that I have gone, pity really. She used to be the mature one of the two of us, and roles are reversed now. I cannot even quite remember what she has done to me anymore, that is the blessing of a bad memory I guess. Also, not actively wanting to remember sure helps with coping with things and putting them behind you. However, I have sworn to myself that whatever happens, whatever she does, I will never maintain contact with her again, as she is destructive to her surroundings and I don't want to be around someone like that. Only two people have gotten to that status with me, and trust me, you have to be EXTREMELY bad to me to get to that level.

After getting the fabric my friend and I went to dinner and had this great tasting asparagus soup, wonderfully juicy steak with Stroganoff sauce, French fries, and then for desert ice cream with fruit. Very yummy alright! I am glad that we managed to go out again, it's been a while alright. I also told her that I would try and move my Monday afternoon client to Thursday afternoon, resulting in my having the Monday afternoons off again to go to the market in the city. My friend has Mondays off, and that way we will still be able to see each other, since the past year we have only gone out.. what.. three times or so? Stupid really, considering she is pretty much the only friend I have out here. I am quite certain that the client will not mind me moving her, so I will be going back to my old habit again soon of market shopping for fabric. *grin*
Mood: wistful

eadwine On spirits Thursday, April 26th 2007 @ 23:23 - Subscribe
Tuesday was spent from the early morning at the sewing machine, sewing on the darkening fabric to my curtains. It makes a difference alright. It isn't extreme, but at least it helps a bit in darkening things up. Also, when it is really sunny I can close the curtains and it will block out the sun. I forgot that today, drat, but I am having the ceiling fan running there now, hopefully things will cool down significantly before I hit the sack. However I want to write down a long thing first, normal day to day stuff can be written at another time, but I need to get this out of the way first.

In intervals while making those curtains I talked with a friend of mine, throwing my thoughts out while he mostly listened, sorting things out, figuring out a number of things for myself, mainly also to deal with the client issue that I have had. I found that my main fear was that he might be "stuck" so to speak, that his strong will to live may have kept him here. However when talking back and forth I came to the conclusion that a soul, let's just call it that, can choose where to go, and also move back and forth between the planes. At least.. almost. They can be fully gone, but they can never fully come back, if you catch my drift.

I have seen people around, where I worked at the first job. Shards, really, moving shadows, nothing more than that. But longer ago, back when I was in Greensboro I saw a lady come out of a room, where I initially thought it was the lady of the house, but when I looked it wasn't her. She didn't come out of the bedroom until about a minute later. Then I realized that the lady I HAD seen was one without feet, and with a long skirt down to the ankles and that she was floating. It was a color image, and never again have I had such a clear experience. I didn't imagine it, there was nothing in the situation at hand that would make me imagine someone there, yet, there she was.

The line between the dead and the living, let's call it a veil, in my opinion (you can think me coo coo all you want, like I care) gets thinner and thicker depending on the person. When people are open to it, the veil can get so thin that you can see through it a little. That would explain the shady images I can see regularly. I mean.. I am open to that sort of thing, but I will not actively look for it, knowing how bad it can get when you step the wrong way.

When that veil thought struck me, something else hit me as well. The client.. my fear of him not crossing over. It was not him not crossing over, no, MY idea of the whole thing was wrong. He HAS crossed over, but I didn't see it as such. What I didn't realize was that when I spoke with him that one time, the veil was thin enough for me to properly see through. For just that short period of time anyway. He can choose where he wishes to be at any given time, as he isn't bound anymore. Where he goes when the veil is thick, who knows, but the fact that I SAW the guy did NOT mean he hadn't crossed over, it simply meant HE chose to be around me as my open-ness was high. Not too strange, considering the emotional hubbub.

Mental strain is known to create portals, lowered personal walls, thin veils, whathaveyou; another explanation why you should never actively try to get involved in such things. Because of the fear of what might happen (we all have seen movies and such, and those were ALWAYS dealing with scaring the shit out of you) you open up more than you think you have, and the experience can be less than pleasant.

I also realized that spirits can create their own truth; people go where they believe they will go. That explains the heaven experiences for Christians, and for other religions other things. All are true, and can be true at the same time. I mean.. let's take the client's daughter, suppose she believes her dad has gone to heaven, for HER he has. Yet I believe he is on a different plane, experiencing a totally new "life". Both versions are true, as the client can GO anywhere he wishes, even if it is imaginary surroundings. And while she "sees" him in heaven, he can appear to her as such, I can "see" him around still. Being in two places at the same time is no issue after all.

Sideways note: this statement I just made also most certainly states that not one religion is correct, but that ALL are. If you cannot follow me anymore, never mind, I am having a bit of a hard time trying to re-reason my logic about this particular thing. At the time of the talk with the friend this all made perfect sense.

I know my mother never chose to stick behind around us all. Aside from her checking on me right after she had died, and checking on my wedding dress right after (I saw her while I was asleep, and my ex woke me up only minutes after that happened to tell me the phone had rung), she left, and never returned for as far as I know. It is exactly why I sometimes say: it would have been fun had she seen me now, but part of me just knows it is not to be, as she has chosen to be elsewhere. That is her choice, and I am at peace with that. Who would deny someone a choice, and I think she is with my great-grandmother and her half brother.

But yeah... back to the client thing.. I think I have pretty much sorted it out, and despite his not wanting to die, he had to. However I think he found out there is a whole new plane to discover and that he chose to remain close at first. Since my realization I feel his presence a little less. It is probably part of the veil between him and I thickening up again because I am not as emotional about these things anymore, and also part that he doesn't "have to be" around me anymore to let me know it's ok.

I just needed to see that I was wrong in my idea of crossing over. There is no "not crossing over", or "staying behind" thing going on; it simply is the thickness of the veil combined with the choice of the spirit to remain where we, those who are open enough, can sense them.

I am leaving all those involuntary stuck at a place spirits out of the equation here, as I feel those situations are not part of the norm. Something happened there that changed things, but that is something for another time to look into, as it is not something that is keeping me busy at the moment.

When I had had that conversation I knew "the light had come on" for me, and that it would be the turning point in my dealing with these things around me. As a home health aide he was my first, but he will most certainly not be my last. It has been an experience that has been eye opening to me, and merely knowing that this is my conviction has at least opened up a little more of what my path is, what my religion is, how -I- feel about things.

I certainly don't fit in Christianity, that is for sure! *laughs*
Mood: focussed

eadwine Test results Saturday, April 28th 2007 @ 22:37 - Subscribe
Quite time for an update, it's been a while. I have been enjoying my holiday alright, it's been warm, hot in fact, and we have broken a few heat records on the way. Go figure.. it isn't even summer yet and we get things like this. It hasn't rained in over a month and I do hope that we will get some soon, or we'll have trouble heading our way fast!

I had my hearing test a few days ago and it went well, really well. Over the course of 11 years I have lost 10dB on one side and 5dB on the other. Not too bad, considering. And all in the speech area, which makes sense since I was having trouble hearing my clients. I hope it makes a difference. What did amaze the man was that I did something VERY well: the high tones. That area starts to degrade as of age 20 already, and at my age should be really noticeable. I have lost nothing. None at all. A very good thing, but also something to make me realize that had a doctor not been stupid back when, my hearing would most likely have been perfect. Ah well.. nothing that can be changed, and I have learned to live with it, but things like that just stand out.

The hearing aids were adjusted, my data entered back in the computer again (they had the audiogram, but my data otherwise was gone, 10 year clean) and after that we went to the stores to see if I could find new ear pads for my Sony, but alas, no luck there, so I have ordered them from the net, Ebay to the rescue. After I had ordered I heard back from another store who said they would cost 32.50. That much for two foam pads? Right. I rather crochet new pads for the thing than pay that for a silly piece of foam. We'll see when the Ebay things get here.

Yesterday I went on an emergency trip to my dealership, I had found an oil patch under my car when a friend of mine was picking up her stuff that was stored temporarily in my home. Mind you.. I have a room again! No more random stuff sitting there.

I called in and could come right over to have the car looked at, no problem. I checked the oil level and that was ok, but I did think the head gasket had blown, since I saw this yellowish goo on the stick. That happens when water gets in the oil, and is not good.

My fear was quickly gone though when a mechanic I have known for quite a while (from my first car even, back in 1994) showed me that it wasn't the head gasket. The coolant was crisp and clean, no oil in it, and for a blown head gasket, that would be needed too. It was the condensation that occurs and when the car doesn't drive too far that can still be in the oil. Ah.. makes sense. However, there was still a leak, so.. upsidaisy the car went on the bridge.

It's the oil pan gasket that is leaking. They call it a sweating oil pan *laughs* He also tightened the plug a tad, but it wasn't something that needed immediate replacement. Keep an eye on it, and if it gets worse, then yes, replace it. I'll make an appointment for that during my next holiday if I can help it and otherwise it'll have to be done on a Friday, as I am working close to the train station then.

I looked the car over, or rather, under, as I was standing there and noticed that it looks quite well for its age, on the bottom side. Little to no rust, nice! Even the mechanic guy told me that this car could last quite a few more years this way. Good! I don't intend to drive another car for quite some time to come!

I have done a lot of work on the cross stitch in the past week, and things are progressing nicely. At last I can see things appear. It is a bit frustrating when you are cross stitching and you cannot even see what it is you are working on. But now I can *smiles*





I cleaned up things left and right in the house, and also gave the mepis system a little overhaul. I changed the background back to the default, but I did change the general looks of the windows and such. A theme, if you wish to call it that. It is looking nice and new again and it'll do till I get tired of it again.

Two more days off and then I will have to get back to the grind. Tomorrow I will decide when I will take two weeks off, maybe I can be smart about it again and plan it right when another national holiday is lined up against it.
Mood: alright

eadwine Unbelievable Monday, April 30th 2007 @ 21:58 - Subscribe
We checked during the week on the site of that personal data publishing guy, and saw that he has removed part of the data, not all. It's been a week now so my dad set up an email account especially for this, and contacted him. But right before he did, he discovered something disturbing: this guy has been putting our data in other places as well! Who the fuck does he think he is?

Obviously my dad put this in an email to the guy (not the fuck part, of course) and he just got a reply back. It boils down to him stating that he doesn't see a problem, that it is perfectly legal, that he has been doing this genealogy stuff for years and yadda yadda and "I know it is legal" and blah blah. He responded like he hadn't even read the legal parts that we pasted in the letter sent last week.

I told my dad that I knew this tone of communication. The "I know better than you, and I will do what I do and you can't do shit about it". For one, this guy is unbelievably stupid to be breaking the Dutch person's registration laws, and for two, he is even more stupid to think we cannot do anything about it.

Not too many people in this country have legal assistance insurance, but.. that is EXACTLY what my dad and I DO have. He's toast. I have advised my dad not to reply to this guy, but to first contact the insurance and get tips on what to do next.

What an unbelievable moron this guy is that he thinks he can get away with this stuff. Man.. *shakes head*

I did some more searching on his persona and even found a picture of the guy. He looks like this typical washed out persona with nothing better to do than spend his life online. For those in the know to give a better idea: BG without the fat. *shudder*

On a totally different note: tomorrow it is back to work time again, and I just sent off an email to the team leader as to the dates of my next vacation planned at the last two weeks of June, the 18th until the 29th (not counting the weekends).

I am not looking forward to starting work again. As usual the first day will be the hardest, but I'll live. I have the most difficult client of the week in the morning, and then the new couple in the afternoon. I do hope their regular helper will be back soon. Not that I don't like them, but they are.. different than the regular clients that I have, though I prefer these over the Wednesday afternoon client. It always takes some getting used to, but these new ones are two that I don't feel too comfortable with, it's a good thing they're not regulars for me.

It was Queen's Day today, and I did nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't feel like going out on my own, so I spent my day useful: cleaning up. Not like clean clean, but more "tidy up the mess" clean. Papers and such all over the place that needed tossing, basically make the place look a little more organized again.
Mood: pissed off