Make your critics work for you
Date: Dec 2nd, 2007 11:35:37 am - Subscribe
Mood: spirited
Criticism is like a two-edged sword. It can either destroy you or sharpen you to be a better person. Yes, they can be painful, but learn to ride on the shoulders of your critics. Ignore the pain and take a closer look at the criticism you are presently suffering and objectively judge if there is truth in it. If there is, work and improve yourself, if there is none, move on. But never allow criticisms to discourage you from your dreams.
There is no room for sensitivity in the pursuit of your goals and dreams. It is my thought that critics are sent our way to keep us on our toes and prevent us from going to waste in a comfort zone. Critics keep us awake and they keep us moving. Indeed they keep us tough on the job!
I was a very sensitive person until I started working for a very tough lady who passed on 2years ago. This lady was strong and bold and she did not care whose ox was god. I thought I was something until I started working for her. Everything I did for her was put under scrutiny and judged. When you are found wanting her ‘critiquing sledgehammer’ came down unmercifully. Initially it was difficult pleasing her and I thought that she hated me. Little did I know that she was my best friend. I strived to improve as she criticized. As my work improved she delegated more responsibilities to me and started sending me out to represent her in conferences and seminars! She had come to trust my work. I rode on the wings of her criticisms.
Today, I run my own organization, but I know that this would not have been possible without the criticisms of my late boss. Back in those days, I used to go home in tears from the office and never liked going to work, but today I see the dividends of making critics work for my good.
I am still criticized, but I am better at managing criticisms now. Instead of crying or sulking, I pay close attention to whatever ‘negative’ word that is said or written about me, because I want to see what I would never have seen about myself or my work and improve. I am aware that not all of them are constructive. Some are baseless and deliberately directed at destroying your self confidence, yet they can be used to your advantage. If nothing else you can use them to toughen up! Thin skins do not excel in life only tough skins do.
If you have a boss, parent or a spouse that you consider a nag, it would be wise to pay close attention to what they are saying. There may be something in it for your growth. There is an African adage that says that ‘there is no smoke without fire.’
Compliments are good, but they do not keep you on your toes as criticisms would. Enjoy the compliments, but also welcome criticisms if you desire improvement and growth in your life, work and relationships.
Comments: (1)
You Have Something To Give!
Date: Dec 1st, 2007 10:36:19 am - Subscribe
Mood: reflective
There cannot be a worst injustice to one’s self than the thought that you have nothing to give to the world. We are created to grow, flourish, multiply and dominate our environment. When you look closely at life, virtually all of it starts as a seed. Man enters life as a seed in the womb. The seed of the man and the seed of the woman fuse to make another human being. The forest begins with a seed. The seed concept is the silent guiding principle for growth. Everything created has something within, around or on them for growth and multiplication. Ants multiply, snakes multiply, trees multiply.
Everything has something to give. Everything created has a part to play in the ecosystem.
Personally, I dislike creatures that crawl! Snakes, wall geckos, lizards, crocodiles, alligators, worms etc. If they crawl, they make my skin crawl too! I do not like them, but they have their function in the ecosystem. My dislike of them does not prevent them from being productive in their corner of the world.
That you are despised or ignored should not be an excuse for you to go to rot or into hiding. Your doing so only affirms these negative opinions. Being black is not a synonym for failure. The brain cells of a white man and a black man are the same. No race is superior to the other. No country is ‘better’ than the other. The mind of the woman is as sharp as that of the man (sometimes even sharper). And no one is a ‘white trash!’ No one is created worthless. Everyone has a seed of greatness in them.
You have something to give. It is time to wake up from our slumber and discover what lies in the core of our being for greatness.
Comments: (0)
IT'S TIME TO THINK!
Date: Nov 30th, 2007 6:05:29 am - Subscribe
Mood: funky
There are quite a lot of people who still do not believe that there is a God. They believe that man and the rest of creation was by means of an evolution process. Yet creation speaks daily to us that no evolution process could have been so perfect in design and detail. We only need to look at the leaves of the trees, the colors and fragrances of the various flowers, the DNA and finger prints of man to know that creation is the deliberate work of a very Superior Mind, a Mind that we cannot understand by natural means or mere physical studies.
Sometimes, people hold onto a particular belief system because of the limitations of their environment. Some because of the family, tribe or nation they were born into or the geographical location they live in. In other cases, the influence of friends. Our environment affects us in more ways than we can ever know.
I was born into a ‘Christian’ home, at least that was what was professed not necessarily practiced. When we were given any documents to fill, I always ticked the box marked ‘Christianity’ not knowing what it meant to be a Christian. In those early years, my father was not a church going man, neither was my mum. Well, they divorced while I was still very much a baby so I cannot remember if they ever did. We were never asked to go to church and there were no family prayer times, but we kept ticking the marked box ‘Christianity’. I remember however that at one point we began attending a Baptist or was it an Assemblies of God Church close to our home (without my parents of course). I do not remember why or how we started doing so. I won’t be surprised if it was because our friends or neighbors who were doing so or may be it was because of the Christmas carols, drama presentations and the Christmas gifts at church!
Anyway, I kept professing I was a Christian for many years without giving any thought to why until years after I had graduated from the university and working.
One of the biggest problems of man is to think. It will shock you to know that many people do not think! Do not take for granted that the man sitting by you is thinking before talking or acting because he just may not be! If you have ever driven in Lagos, Nigeria, where I live, you would understand my point! You have to think for yourself and other road users as well while driving! If you take for granted that the other driver is thinking just as you are, you may be rudely shocked!
Quite a lot of people sweat using their physical might, but not many can make their brains sweat. There is a world of difference between working hard and working smart, that difference is called thinking.
Because of this dearth in thinking many people have not given thought to why they believe what they believe or worship the God or gods they do.
We claim Christianity, Islam, Atheism, Buddhism etc because we were born into such families or live in environments that predominantly worship in these fashions. But we have not personally given any deep thought to find out if these choices of worship are the right way.
As I became more independent, I began to think, read and ask questions. I came to understand that Christianity was not a mere religious grouping or category. Neither was it a marked box for me to tick, but a way of life. Christianity means a personal (not family) relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. In other words a Christian is a follower of Jesus Christ. And if I am a follower, I must know how He walked, how He lived, what His teachings are and what He expects of me. It does not end there folks, I must also be a doer of His Word! Just knowing is not enough, I must be acting on His Word.
After I understood this, I made a personal decision for the first time to give Him my life and invited Him to be my Lord and Saviour in spite of the spiritual choices of my family and ancestors.
True liberty or freedom starts from knowing your Creator and establishing a relationship with Him. Why do I say so? Our ideologies or belief systems are informed by whom or what we believe or worship. The God or gods you choose to worship determines the limits placed on your mind and those limits determine the boundaries of your existence. If you believe in the Creator of the heavens and the earth, the Almighty God and His Son Jesus Christ you have no limits placed on your life. As He is limitless so are you. But if you believe in anything lesser, your mind and existence here on earth (and the hereafter) would be greatly limited and in bondage.
There is no greater choice in life than the choice of spiritual worship. There are some whose god is themselves. They believe in nothing, but themselves. Now, how limited can one get than that! If you are all that you believe in and your word alone is your guiding light, the sad truth is that you are not going anywhere too far in life!
Some others believe in other human beings. This too is a sad and futureless existence because it has been proven time and again that man is not created to lead another human being in an everlasting capacity. There is no greater captivity than worshipping or idolizing another human being. Hitler is a very good example. Man is not created to take or handle worship. When given too much attention man becomes tyrannical, destructive and abusive.
Yet some more groups worship all kinds of animals and objects. They worship gods or goddesses of the water, snakes, cows, trees, thunder, sun, moon etc! They make idols of these things and bow to worship them. But let us begin to think and reason for a change. All of these elements, animals or objects were created by God. Is the Creator of the water and the sun, the moon and the stars not greater than the water, sun, moon, stars and whatever spirits that may be in them? Why are we worshipping the creation and not the Creator? Why are we bowing down to things we created with our own hands? When would we begin to really think and make right choices regarding our spiritual life?
So many people are out there in the world searching for peace yet ignoring the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God. The One who gives peace that surpasses all understanding. You do not need anti-depressant pills. Who you need is Jesus. You do not need a therapist my friend. Stop wasting good money there. Open your hearts, remove the limitations of your environment or education and accept Jesus Christ and you would begin to see hope in that hopeless situation. What is the 'high' you think you are experiencing or having with hard drugs? Try Jesus, there is no 'high' like Him! Drugs will harm you, but Jesus will save you.
Many are looking for money, but not paying attention to the One who gives power to get wealth, the One who knows the secret places of the earth where wealth is hidden. Jesus is the One who can inspire the mind with ideas that create wealth.
Yet others are searching for love in the arms of men and women. You jump from one relationship to another; hop in and out of the beds of men/women who do not care about you and who do not know the meaning of love. If you can only pause and think, you would discover that you are gravely harming yourself. You cannot find love in the bed of a man/woman. Lust is what you will find there.
True unconditional love can only be found in the Lord Jesus. When you receive Him into your life, then He will guide you to that man/woman who would love you like you should be loved.
Friends, it is time to think. It is time for us to be spiritually responsible. The days have a way of flying by. Too soon many things we plan on doing are left undone because time has run out. The young may scoff at this, but ask the senior citizens (the aged in our societies). What we fail to do today may be too late for us to do tomorrow. Time waits for no one. It is time to give thought to your spiritual life. It is time we ask ourselves where we would be spending eternity.
For Meditation, read:
Genesis 1-3
John1:1-14
Proverb 8:22-36
John 17:5
Colossians 1:16-17
If you want to receive Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, please say this prayer:
Lord Jesus, I welcome You into my life today. I repent and confess all my sins. I ask for your mercy and forgiveness and I ask that You be my Lord and personal Saviour. Thank You for Your love and grace. Amen
If you said that prayer congratulations! Welcome to the Family of Christ Jesus. Please buy a Bible and start studying. Also find a Bible teaching Church and begin your walk with the Lord. I pray that the Spirit of the Living God guide and bless you in Jesus name. Amen. God bless you.
Comments: (1)
LIVE FREE!
Date: Nov 29th, 2007 6:42:10 pm - Subscribe
Mood: tranquil
Two years ago, I had a big blow to my heart and as a result I lost a lot of weight. A lot of people thought that I was on a diet, but I was not. Before the incident however, I was a size 14. I tried every trick in the book to lose weight, but I just could not keep my resolve to do so. I ended up breaking every weight loss plan I started on. After the unfortunate incident however, I dropped in a matter of weeks to a size 8! A lot of my friends and family were concerned. So, to stop them worrying, I tried to gain back some weight, but it was difficult. Like a flower, I wilt in size when my heart is broken. I too began to worry. Can you imagine that! I have always wanted to lose weight and now that I had, I wanted to gain it back! Any how, I forgot about my weight problems and kept on with life. Two weeks ago, I started noticing that my clothes were getting a bit tight on me. I thought that I could easily shake it off, so I did not really care. This week however, I wore a pair of denim pants and I panicked! It was as if I was wearing someone else’s denim because it was so tight! My heart sank and I cried, ‘Lord where did the weight come from? How did it creep on me unawares?’ I knew I had to do something fast or else I will find myself back on the block of 14!
But what is my point? The point is not that I lost or gained weight. The point is what do I really want? Do I want to be a 14 or do I want to be a 10 or 6? If I am not decisive on this issue I would forever lose my self confidence and most of all my peace.
There are quite a lot of people out there like me swaying between two opinions. You do not gain anything in life when you are indecisive or double minded. As a matter of fact you can lose everything by being double minded. A double minded man is like a leaking pipe- unable to retain the substance it was created to hold. You have to get to a place where you know what you want, where you want to be or who you want to be with.
The reason many are in abusive relationships or working on jobs they do not really like is because they have not yet reached this place of liberty. Quite a lot of people are under the bondage of people’s opinions because they have not yet decided what they really want in life. Have you not realized that you can never please man? When I was a size 14, many people told me I was too fat and that I should do something about my weight. When I lost weight they told me to add weight because I was too skinny and look sickly! Imagine me swaying between these two opinions. I guess to satisfy these people I probably should lose weight today and gain again tomorrow. Now, how possible is that?! I would be a total wreck! This may be a senseless picture for some people, but it is what we do. Yours may not be a weight issue, but the point remains that most of us deep down are people pleasers – addicted to approval.
I read a story of a young woman who left her village and visited America. She had never been to a mall in her life and was really looking forward to doing so. One day, a lady invited her to a mall. She was ecstatic about it, but then another friend asked her to go golfing with him. Deep in her heart she wanted to go to the mall, but she could not tell him so. However, on the way to the golf course, she kept timidly asking questions about malls and supermarkets and this guy perceived that she’d rather be at a mall than learn to play golf, so he turned the car around and took her to the mall. When he parked in front of the mall, he asked her: ‘Why did you not tell me you’d rather be at the mall and not the golf course?’ And she replied: ‘I did not want to offend you.’ He asked her: ‘What makes you think that you are not more important than what I wanted to do?’ People pleasers always feel that they are not important and that their opinions do not count.
How much is our time here on earth? May be seventy – at most eighty. Some don’t even have that much time. Why do you want to waste it by being double minded? Why are you procrastinating on what you know you should do and what you know you should stop doing? What do you want out of life? Do you just want to slip through or add value to others and to your self?
It would amaze you just how many people despise who they are, where they are, what they do, who they are with and what they have. Very many people wish they were taller, others that they were shorter. Some wish that they were heavier in size, others would give anything in this life just to be a size smaller than they are – especially women. The married want to be single again and the single’s sole desire is to have someone share their life and space. Those in 9-5 jobs want to start their own businesses and those in their own employ want to go back into the employ of others. We all lust for what the next person has or is doing because we have not yet decided on what we want deep in our hearts. We have let people and society set standards for us while ignoring the standards of God which are set to help us live free.
The question is what do you really want? We are at the close of yet another year? What would it be this time? Same old indecisions or a refreshing new beginning?
I have decided to maintain a size that is comfortable for me. My doctor has told me a weight of 66.5kg is healthy for my heart and height. I am comfortable with this. I am not planning on being Miss World!
Folks, I am learning to like myself and be myself. It may surprise you, but even this decision displeases some people. My point indeed! You cannot please everybody no matter how hard you try. Life is too short for me to be concerned with what’s proper or not proper, and what’s acceptable or not for other people. I will try my best to be at peace with people as far as it is within my power to do so. I will not go out of my way to be offensive nor be a menace to society. Yet, I will live free just as God wants me to. If He is pleased with me what more can I ask for?
So my friends, live free and live full within the context of the liberty God has given us. However, do not let your liberty be used for what will displease God because ultimately we are created to please Him alone.
I love you all.
NB: I was inspired to write this article by the following Bible Scriptures. Please look them up soon.
Galatians 5:1
Galatians 5: 13-15
James 1: 5-8
Psalms 90:10
If you have been inspired by this article, please write me and say so and if you have friends and family that may need to be inspired or encouraged from time to time please send me their email addresses. Thank you.
Comments: (0)