I can't believe I'll miss you
Date: Nov 21st, 2008 8:19:07 pm - Subscribe
Mood: angsty


Can you shut your mouth and listen when I tell you about my day?
Can you stop and wait for me to catch up instead of just slowing down?
Can you just let me take a nap on the sofa when I get home from school?
Can you remember to fill out my school forms before they are due?
Can you let me organize my room the way I want?
Can you buy American cheese, not Swiss, because I'm the one who eats it, not you.
Can you not argue with dad in front of me?
Can you not pick on all my insecurities?
Can you wake up on time so we're not late?
Can you be supportive for once?
Can you show me that you're proud of the little things I do?
Can you not talk about your "audlt problems" and how "hard" your life is?
Can you control yourself when we go out?
Can you trust that I'll call if I need you?
Can you not blame me for everything going wrong in your life?
Can you not say "he is a fucking asshole"?
Can you respond when I ask you a simple question?
Can you make it so I don't cry when you're gone?
Comments: (0)


back yet again
Date: Feb 3rd, 2008 7:26:23 pm - Subscribe
Mood: deflated


its been a long time,
my life had gotten better
but thats not why im here.
my life has gotten more stressful than ever.

i was blocking out the pain
pretending like i had changed
breathing through it all
but thats only made me more deranged

my best friend forgot me
my parents put me down all the time
im on the edge flirting with danger
all thats left is only in my mind

Comments: (0)


im not dead yet
Date: Sep 1st, 2006 7:19:29 pm - Subscribe
Mood: scared


i've been going to hard for just to long
i dont even think i can go on.
im taking on to much at one time,
and im starting to drown in the sea i cry

this girl who gives all she can
cant give anymore.
she needs help from the ones who hurt her,
or else she'll hurt herself even more.
she wont eat, her cloths wont fit,
and she sleeps to escape her life.
shes on drugs while she cuts her arms
this is a secret to all but some.
she wants to run away from this pain
but she cant stand to go away.

she wont eat, and shes always starving.
she cant stay awake, but she always sleeping
and she cant remember
the last time she was happy.
even though she plays it
like she still is.
and everyone beleives every word she says
they think they can trust her
even when she cant trust herself
but shes the one who forced this on herself

and now that you know her story.
i hope you can understand her life.
and i hope you know she did what she had to.
it was the best for all of you.
Comments: (0)


tonight
Date: Feb 20th, 2006 5:55:36 pm - Subscribe
Mood: helpless/needy/cloudly


i wish god would send me an angel,
to help make this pain stop.
its been hurting too long,
and i think i need one, or else
i wont make it through tonight.

yea its gotten that bad,
and i dont want to tell you.
what the pain is doing to me.
but its making my crazy
for you not to know
and maybe i just might
shed alittle light.
tonight.

i wish god would send me an angel,
to help make this pain stop.
its been hurting too long,
and i think i need one, or else
i wont make it through tonight.

it happened like lightning.
i wasnt prepared
for what it could do to me.
i didnt know what. was. happening.
i actted on instict and forgot to think
than there was the most severe pain
now all i remember is that walk in the rain
tonight

i wish god would send me an angel,
to help make this pain stop.
its been hurting too long,
and i think i need one, or else
i wont make it through tonight.

ok i will tell you about this pain.
but you've gotta promise,
not to be my angel!
i dont want you as my angel!
this pain im feeling is
both emotional, and physical. and
its its from the people i love!!!
tonight...
Comments: (3)


memories of time
Date: Dec 31st, 2005 10:55:03 am - Subscribe
Mood: bothered


when you're young,
time usually goes by
at a snails pace.
everyday lasts forever, and
every moment you wait
takes a life time to pass.

now, that i am
grown up, there's never
enough time. days are
short and hours happen
in a heartbeat. special moments
don't last as long as they used too.

but the memories you
make int he time that
is lost, stay with you always.
the pain, the joy, and the sorrow,
they'll never go away.
not until the day time runs out.
Comments: (0)


Seize the day
Date: Dec 19th, 2005 9:06:34 pm - Subscribe
Mood: i waited to long and now its to late


Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine.

but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today.
And that's what we get
and deserve in the end.

Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.

Reach out and tell someone
what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that
it is the right time

it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly,
stay close to your friends

and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.
Comments: (1)


finally lost it
Date: Dec 18th, 2005 7:33:54 pm - Subscribe
Mood: pretending im strong but inside im falling apart


when i woke up,
something inside me was
screaming...
i try to calm it down
and stop the sounds
but nothing will do it for me.

and i cant explain why this happens
and i cant make it stop.
it just keeps coming harder faster stronger
and it is forcing me, to just give up!
now i've tried to give in
so many times before
but i could never go through with it
because of the people near my heart
and now im sure
that i have finally lost it!

i feel helpless.
i feel weak.
too many people are riding on me!
i got to be strong.
but its hard to think.
can they get threw it when i sink?

and i cant explain why this is happens
and i cant make it stop.
it just keeps coming harder faster stronger
and it is forcing me, to just give up!
now i've tried to give in
so many times before
but i could never go through with it
because of the people near my heart
and now im sure
that i have finally lost it!

the pressure of them is haunting me
i just want to run away and be free
but they have tied me down with resopsiblity.
to many short cuts,
i had to take,
but now i can see thats forced me to brake.

and i cant explain why this is happens
and i cant make it stop.
it just keeps coming harder faster stronger
and it is forcing me, to just give up!
now i've tried to give in
so many times before
but i could never go through with it
because of the people near my heart
and now im sure
that i have finally lost it!
Comments: (3)


just keep it in
Date: Dec 9th, 2005 8:15:13 pm - Subscribe
Mood: out of control


i almost wanted to tell her today,
but than i kept it in.
i almost wanted to cry today,
but than i kept it in.

today i almost told the whole world
but i knew better, to keep it in.
i need to let it all out, some way,
but im just gonna keep it in.

sometimes i break down
and let it all out,
but than i don't tell, anyone else.
just to keep it in.

i have had it hard all my life
and i have always kept it in.
i feel like it makes me look so strong,
but now the ones i told wanna say,

that im not as storng, so they prey,
that i let it all out
and find some help today,
but i tell them to stay out of my life!

and now that some
of its out there.
it's just more reasons
to keep, keep it in.

Comments: (1)


anymore
Date: Oct 6th, 2005 5:22:57 am - Subscribe
Mood: terrible


whenever i trip i think of her.
whenever i slur my words i think of her.
and whenever i see her the
way she thinks is better,
i cry til i cant cry anymore.

every night and every day
i always see her the same way
and i cant control my feelings
when i m near her
but no one sees me crying anymore

i told my friend but she cant help
and i dont blame that all on her.
cause, shes never had to deal
with this sort of thing.
and i hope now, not anymore

this same pain just wont go away
i live through it every day
of my life cause some times
you just have to deal with all the pain
but my life isn't happy anymore
Comments: (4)


caught me
Date: Sep 17th, 2005 8:42:40 pm - Subscribe
Mood: ashamed


its hard when your life is in a hole
you do things that you later regret
like now i wish i hadn't hurt myself
cause today she found out
i knew she would adventually
but i didn't want her to find out now
she grabbed my wrist
than looked at me
than back at my wrist
i didn't know what to do.
so i lied
but i could tell she didn't believe me
i pulled away from her grip
and got up
she was still staring at me
with a look in her eye like
how could you?
after that i felt like everyone was looking
i hind my arm in my shirt
but maybe now she will know
that i cant do life on my own
that i need a little help with somethings
but this wasn't my only secret
Comments: (4)


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