wonder why?
Date: Aug 24th, 2005 11:31:39 pm - Subscribe
Mood: alone
now there all gone and they are not coming back
they all left me cause their on a different track
i have no hope of anyone else
i feel like a dope just please end it now
because its to late in this game
to find someone that was the same
as everyone here that said goodbye
they cant cheer me up now
and you wonder why?
Comments: (0)
reflection
Date: Aug 18th, 2005 8:45:55 pm - Subscribe
Mood: complicated
i fined myself alone
walking down a cold grey street
when i see a girl
in a soft blue dress
her face is flushed
and her hair is in knots
her eyes are sad and look
like they have been hiding something
when she stairs right into my eyes
it feels as though she looks right through me
she looks as if she has been crying
for a very long time
i search in her eyes for the reason
she drops something, to break my consentration
and when i go to pick it up
its gone
i look at her
and shes gone too
i feel some thing around my neck
its the locket she had dropped
i suddenly know
who she was
and why she was so sad
she was me
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pain
Date: Aug 5th, 2005 2:52:15 am - Subscribe
Mood: just trying to make it alone
it's nights like this when
i don't want to hear solutions
and my dreams just tease me
with promises of a better tomorrow
but i would think that tomorrow
would have happen already
you take it, and you take it
and you learn,
you learn all too well,
so that later, when there's nobody to dish it out,
you can punch yourself in the gut
just because thats how its always been.
the best part is,
with training and practice,
you learn your own soft spots and weaknesses,
so that if some thing happened,
you wouldn't be the one the gets hurt.
double up over the pain and swallow
it'll still be there tomorrow
Comments: (1)
Tears of mine
Date: Aug 5th, 2005 2:34:08 am - Subscribe
Mood: pained
water sliding down my cheeks,
i cant remember why.
the pain is growing stonger with each drop
on the kitchen floor.
i m sitting there in the dark
no one is home but me.
i turn and face the window,
and slide down on the icy ground.
the sky is grey and sad.
but its funny,
i like it when it rains.
but not now,
the pain just doesn't go away.
like it has in the past.
its getting harder 2 breathe now
i can bearly catch my breath
the crash of thunder puts me in a sudden shock
the room is filled with silence
i m getting dizzy
thank god i m sitting down
my mind is really foggy
and its starting to shut down.
than slowly i drift off
into a deep sleep
only to wake up 10 minutes later
when i hear the front door creek
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my mother
Date: Jul 25th, 2005 10:31:51 pm - Subscribe
Mood: broken
she lies to us and makes us cry.
she moves our things around and than
blames us when we cant find them.
she tells us we're worthless,
nothing at all to her,
and than the next morning
she says she loves us.
and every time it happens
i told her i loved her too.
but next time,
next time im going to tell her the truth
im tried of her hitting us
and making us look like the bad guys
making us feel sorry for her when
when we should be saying
thats what you get.
but i still cant find it in myself to be brave
and tell them, tell all of them.
and tell her,
that i hate her
Comments: (0)
my angel
Date: Jul 23rd, 2005 3:36:52 am - Subscribe
Mood: needy
i heard from my angel today
she is hurting inside and out
the reason she is this way
she needs some one, no doubt
she misses her old life
the way it used to be
her heartache seems to never end
to rescue her, ill be what i need to be
she is out of her element
and so lost, she feels
like just giving up
she can feel the strian to her heart
she always had a strong will
which will get her through this
i know you love her still
she can heal and find bliss
bruised as she may be
time heals all wounds
she needs you
so please come home soon
Comments: (0)
secrets
Date: Jul 23rd, 2005 3:35:56 am - Subscribe
Mood: hurt
never really fitting in she still tries to smile
crying tears and hiding secrets from all of them
behind her eyes they never could see the pain
but it was real and it felt like a bad dream
she tried to make friends and pretend she was fine
though she looked ok they were missing every sign
even when she smiled they could never see her eyes
filling with tears and hiding all of her twisted lies
every night when she went home she faced the pain
the only relief she could find was writing it all down
she came home to her drunk mother that would
tell her how horriable she was
and every morning when she went out she heard laughter
knowing that no one cared what would happen after
each day she was pushed around and hurt
her soul was bruised and her eyes full of tears
a life of pain and a life of torment she has to live
her "friends" thought she had a great life
but they never noticed how each day she was worse
they only saw her smile and only heard her laughter
but they never saw the pain behind her eyes
they saw her cry only in the rain
none of them knew what she went through
but its better that way
Comments: (2)
the perfect girl
Date: Jul 23rd, 2005 3:33:49 am - Subscribe
Mood: crying
the perfect girl
the one that never felt pain
the one who always smiled
even when her heart was strained
nothing could get her down
no one could make her cry
for she was the perfect girl
living the perfect lie
at night she cried silently
no one suspected a thing
the smile hid all the tears
the laugh covered up the pain
she didnt think her friends
liked her for who she was
so she put on a show
even though she still felt useless
her friends never came over
to see her small home
she said her parents worked alot
and they couldnt be there alone
the girls life was anything but great
her brother threaten to kill them
her dad was never there
and her mother always drank
her mother called her fat
until she thought the same
she started skipping meals
and her friends started to take shame
she never did drugs
or cut herself
but she still felt the judging eye
from all around
maybe the perfect girl always smiled
but inside she was fading away
crying herself to sleep every night
and putting on a mask every day.
Comments: (0)
falling apart
Date: Jul 21st, 2005 6:37:51 pm - Subscribe
Mood: looking for help
she fools all of her friends
into thinking shes so strong,
but she still sleeps with the light on
and she acts like its all right
as she smiles agian,
even though she knows
her mother is sick
and her friends wouldn't understand
shes a question without any answers,
who feels like falling apart,
she doesn't know,
shes so much more then worthless,
she needs to find the surface,
she wonders what she did to deserve this, and shes calling out to you,
cause every time she falls down,
she reaches out to you,
and shes loosing all controle
and she trys to fight the pian of it all.
cause thats her biggest fear,
and she always crying on the inside,
cause she doesn't want anyone to know
whats really going on.
but i dont wanna hide her anymore,
her life is trash and
she needs someone that can understand.
Comments: (2)
time
Date: Jun 26th, 2005 12:01:10 am - Subscribe
Mood: impatient
to much time, waiting,
waiting for nothing.
and not enough time,
doing what you were born to do.
if you didn't spend so much time,
waiting,
waiting for nothing.
than we could do alot.
alot of things.
so no more waiting,
no more waiting for you.
Comments: (2)