emopuella's Blog

Finally, some sanity
Date: Apr 29th, 2005 7:06:17 am - Subscribe
Mood: stuffy, sleepy, hungry
music: From Autmn to Ashes

My dad finally found a house back in the town me and my sister go to school in. So thats cool I won't have to stay with ither people and hop around from house to house. Sarah got mad at me and Gabby because of a stupid fight. Theres this girl named Heather and she is bisexual, so is Sarah. Sarah and Heather used to date, but broke up because Heather treated Sarah badly and just wasn't great overall (she lies, cheats, manipulates, uses, and tons more). Last Sunday she started texting Sarah again and Sarah started talking to her. We told Sarah if she started talking to her again then we wouldn't be her friends anymore, but she kept talking to her. Now there dating again, but nobody knows and Sarah is hurting all of her friends by doing this. She is slowly pushing them all away.
Well, I finally broke up with Tony. I realized after people began making a big scene over me and my guy friends that I never really liked him, just certain qualities that were strong in him attached me to him. I just can't figure out what took me so long to realize this.
We went to the cabin last weekend. The cabin is where we go when you want to get real bad messed up or just do some harder drugs. Wellit turned out the reason we went last time was both. I didn't do everything, but Idid alot and suprisingly I wasn't that bad messed up, I think I have a high tolerance. Then we went to Scotts' house. His dad and him are real big into motorcycles so we went to this motorcycle games thing with them. It was preetty cool. Then we wnet back to Scotts' and just laid around his house. Vampire (JD, but hes' a vampire so I call him that) played drums on my stomach till we left about 3 hours later. Nothing much has happened since then, but were supposed to be going over there this weeekend.
Comments: (1)

Finally, 5 minitues to myself
Date: Apr 17th, 2005 8:58:16 pm - Subscribe
Mood: emotional drained, exhausted, sad, lonely
music: X-Mas

This past week has been crazy. Well that Harvey guy had told my mom to leave, so we were staying at some other guys' house. Well I had only been ther for about 4 days, when my sister came and got me to hang out for the day. I was sleeping so she practically carried me out to the car. Then about 10 min later my moms' new boyfriend called and was fussing at me for not telling them I was leaving when he was sitting on the couch across from me and heard my sister say we were leaving. Well I thought nothing of it, but when we came back nobody was there. We called the cellphone and they said they went out to eat and would be back in a couple of hours, then that guy said something smart to my sister, Gabby, and they got into an argument and they showed up about 15 min. later. Then Gabby and her friend Sarah got into a huge argument with them and he punched Gabby in the eye, shoved Sarah, and hit me 3 times. So now I'm staying with Sarah for awhile, but her parents are complaining about me being there so I have to find somewhere else to go. I've had quite a many people offer,mainly friends, but I would feel bad going and staying with them, like I was a burden to them or their family or a charity case for them to look down on and pity. I don't know what to do, but I guess I need to figure it out soon.
Tonys' mad at me because of certain things that happend last Saturday. Oh well, he'll get over it. If not its' not a big deal to me, I don't care.
Last night was Battle of the Bands, and I went with X-Mas, their a local band I hang out with. Their really good, they've got a few albums made and have sent them out. Sugarcult, Bowling for Soup, and a couple of other bands like them alot but their music is too soft for them. Their playing the Warped Tour this summer which is awesome and I can't wait to go. But anyways, we went with "our band" to be supportive and good friends, but they didn't win. Its' cool though because its' just a stupid high schol talent show. The judges like the more pop-punk music better anyways (they scream) , but you know what, none of the other bands will get as far as they will or have gone so far. After that we went with the band to a friends house to party. Not everyone that was supposed to come came, because someones' been narking about the drugs and underage drinking. It was still cool though. Stupid Chris was fucked up and kept trying to touch me and mess with me, so he was the down side of the night. I've forgotten what it feels like to got out to parties all the time, but now I'm starting to get back into it. We've been going to Dustins' lately, but I don't really like to because of his sister. Lets just say she is annoying, she keeps saying shes' going to call the cops because of all the underage drinking but her brother sits their and does it too. She just doesn't want anything to happen to anyone or anything while were there or if we leave and hurt someone becausse they would be held responsible. She went off with Bowling for Soup the other day after their concert. So that got rid of her for awhile, they might be shitty, but she likes them and it got her away from us for a night. Well I best be off to bed, school in the morning and I have a 2 hour ride there.
Comments: (0)

A Miserable Life
Date: Apr 6th, 2005 4:52:42 pm - Subscribe
Mood: sad
music: Brand New, Atreyu

Well, its' been a lovely couple of days. I have been crying throghout them all, though I haven't let anyone see. I got home from my grandmothers and the guy my mom was living with told us we need to leave and find somewhere else to live. Probably from my mom going out all the time. So she was going to come over to her "new boyfriends" and said I need to find some place else to go. Then she changed her mind and let me stay. I won't be here long though, my dad is coming back in about 2 or 3 weeks. None of this is all to suprising though, it happens way to often to affect me, except about my mom saying that. Well I figured things couldn't get any worse, so I told my boyfriend, Tony, I didn't love him. We're going to still stay together though, he says I might change, i don't know, but I guess its' worth a shot. Bright Eyes are having a concert at the end of May in Atlanta, but I can't go. It sucks too. I'm bored, i didn't go to school today, because I was suspended, so now my day is going to seem to take forever to end and I'll have nothing to do. I guess I'll just go find a good book or something on T.V.


Comments: (1)

Change of plans
Date: Apr 2nd, 2005 11:57:44 pm - Subscribe
Mood: bored, tired
music: A Static Lullaby, Remebering Never, & Bleed The Dream

Well I'm still here at my grandmothers. I didn't leave today because of the weather and I wasn't about to complain about ONE more day here. What could it hurt? And it gives me an extra day away from my mom. I know its' typical for most mothers and daughters to fight, but those are for TYPICAL reasons. My mother on the other hand, well lets just say there is nothing, NOTHING typical about her. I didn't do much around here today either. I worked a bit more on my "poetry" book. Its' not all poetry and its' not all mine. Its', I guess, mainly poetry then its' little parts cut from songs or one-liners. Mainly emo music, just a bit of punk (I'm more into the emo music). So, I got some more one liners and song parts and was just choosing which to include. I the realized, I need a new notebook. I keep them all in a notebook that I've written in or on and drawn all over. Well the pages all fell out and I'm running out of pages. So I guess I'll start over, it won't be that big a deal to me, I've been thinking about doing it over for various reasons. But now I have a reason. The only thing is I've had that particular notebook for about 2 years now, I guess I could still keep it as an memory or just a keepsake. I feel like listening to some music, I think I'll go find some Remembering Never, A Static Lullaby, and Bleed The Dream.
Comments: (1)

What year is it?*
Date: Apr 2nd, 2005 12:28:08 am - Subscribe
Mood: dreamy, drowsy, emotionleess, zombie-like
music: From Autumn to Ashes

I have lost all sense of time. I can not tell you how long I've been here nor the hour. I'm almost certainit has been a week. This is the most country-place I've ever been. It takes 45 min to go to town, so they only go once a week. When you walk outside all you hear is the sound of the wind in the trees, literally. This might be natural to some people, but I'm not used to it. Not that I'm some city girl, cause I'm not. Its' just that in my little town the city is only 15 min away and its' bigger. There is nothing to do here, not even cow tipping (you'd think there would be cows here, but there aren't, strange.), but that doesn't bother me cause I'm not the cow-tipping-type, but still what do people do around here for fun? For anything. Its' brain-numbingly boring around here!
Well, I went with my grandmother bowling. More like watched, I should say. Shes' on some league and they had a tournament tonight, I said I'd go to keep her company and to share a "family" moment or two with her. I'm supposed to be going back home tomorrow. School is back on in a couple of days. I'm kind of glad to be going back, not just to be back in "routine", but because my friend is coming back. Christina moved away back in October I think, they were poor, always had been, and got evicted(sp?) from there place. They bounced around from homless shelter to homless shelter. Then her stepdad OD on some pills and they are living off his life insurance. Its' sad that happened because she had 2 baby sisters under age 5, but good because it helps them get back on track. Well she'll be coming back to school this Monday, so thats something to look forward too. Well I'm going to go fall asleep to another movie now.
Comments: (0)