Uhh...Stuff
Date: Oct 12th, 2004 7:10:23 pm - Subscribe
Mood: unattractive
I am in a pretty good mood at the moment. Annie slept over on Sunday. Dana and I went to the Apple Harvest on Saturday. It was so funny! "Let me see your hands!!" lol Um...On Monday Annie and I walked to Kellys house and we gave her weeds! It was awesome! Today Dana gave me a Bright Eyes cd, they are amazing! lol Wicked! Um...I am making plans for Halloween and getting food and doing some homework. This weekend has been one the best in a while...ha... 
Listening To: Bright Eyes- Bowl Of Oranges
Comments: (2)
Guestbook!!
Date: Oct 10th, 2004 12:39:03 am - Subscribe
Mood: emo
Go to my guestbook and sign it!!!!
http://www.freegb.net/gbook.cgi?106819
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Oh...How Cute
Date: Oct 10th, 2004 12:31:10 am - Subscribe
Mood: ditsy
This is for a bunch of my friends because I love you all dearly.
Abby- You are an amazing person. You are always cheering people up and you are an awesome person to be around. ILU so much!bbfl
Kelly- You have an amazing spark that not everyone sees or appreciates. But when they see it they will see that you are such a wonderful person. ILU bbfl
Share- ILU SO MUCH! IMY! I wish you never had to move to Texas. I am going to tackle you crying when you come to visit so be warned! I cannot wait till you visit or I hitchhike down to Corpus Cristi! ILU bbfl 
Annie- I have only known you since this summer but we have grown so close. ILU as well and I am glad Kelly introduced us. You are just positive about somethings and it helps to have a friend like you. bbfl
Dana- I had an awesome time at the Apple Harvest. The hot guy peeling apples, getting free pizza, and just hanging out. You are such an emotional person and it is easy to trust you. ILU. bbfl
Keri- You are just so spunky. lol and you can make me laugh with your shocked face 
. ILU and I am glad we have lunch together cause we got Army stickers. oh and we know how to flip each other off in many different ways. bbfl
and Finally
Chelsey- Even though I kind of ditched you last year...i was brainwashed btw...I still love you and I am extremely glad you are on my bus. Even if your rents hate me I will still be your friend! bbfl
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Depression
Date: Oct 9th, 2004 12:58:00 pm - Subscribe
Mood: disturbed
Although her life was never the same, she had to get up and move on. She's gone through this pain so many times it became like a monthly ritual. Crying then screaming then deep depression and becoming horribly nasty and then finally optimism. It has become so redundant that she can't remember what the purpose of love is. The tears stain her cheeks and weather away her mind. It breaks down her soul to know that he didn't try to get her into his life as much as she tried for him. The thought of this brings a horrible wave of pain through her body..she trembles and blacks out..she can't take it anymore. When she awakens she finds that she has a peice of mind although she is still deeply in love. She hasn't cleared the forests of heartbreak yet, but she might get through soon. She tries to find him, but to no avail and she sinks back into depression. Thoughts of cutting runs through her mind, but she dosen't do it. She decides that she must take her life into her own hands and seize the day. Carpe Diem. She will probably regret somethings but right now she is as confident as an angel and nothing will bring her down unless the rejection that he bestows upon her...if he does it. Hopefully she will find a hand to hold and to never let go.
--By Clarissa (Me)
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Poems Written By Me
Date: Oct 9th, 2004 12:57:12 pm - Subscribe
Mood: overwhelmed
"The Darkness"
The darkness surrounds us
Power stirs within us
You whisper and light fades away
but it comes back stronger
so much stronger then before
My thoughts are all mixed up
I wish this feeling would last forever
I sit here next to you
I love each and every moment
as I stare into your brown eyes...
I know this is right.
"Dreaming"
I am laying on my bed, in my room
Listening to my stereo
Openly sighing while thinking of you
Very tired, no sleep, no rest
Everyone smiling from my wall
Catching raindrops as they fall
Happy laughter down the grey road
Relaxing and thinking of your smile
In my head my heart starts to say,
Saying "I want you, I need you, I can't go on without you!"
"How Would You Say That?"
Feelings that I cannot control
Love, like, hate, sadness
Black hair, brown eyes
no lies
heart beats, running fast
closing my eyes
watching, waiting for you
memories I cannot erase
boaing, tbs
bubble baths, emo...mania
*shag*
things happen for a reason
that's why I met you
but inside I'm dying
from the pain, from not having you
my fists beat the wall inside me
Earth, crushed
left, right, happy, death
party boy, good news
sad goodbyes, long distance lovers
trying and looking, but to no avail
I cannot stop it
I cannot control it
I cannot give up on you!
"Pictures Causing Me Pain"
I had finally given up on you
Then Kelly had a picture, it showed your smiling face
I almost collapsed just then
and I fell for you again...
My heart stopped and time stood still
So now I must find you
to tell you how I feel about you
So I can maybe get to hold your hand...or let it go
"Flaming Hearts"
the faces are still smiling
While I am still writing
It looks so dark, but it's only 6
My curtain is open
My heart is still broken
I am not rested
and in so much pain
I feel like flying away from here
or maybe just crying till I disappear
my face is red
I have to close my eyes
as another wave of pain washes over my body
I'm thinking of your smile, wondering if it's worthwhile
Picturing...everything
Memories come flooding back
but my favorite one, out of all the rest
flaming hearts
I was painting
you were smiling
Annie was excited
and Kelly...was spacing
and for that single moment..the pain is lifted from me.
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..a thing...
Date: Oct 9th, 2004 12:56:16 pm - Subscribe
Mood: sarcastic
You Know You Are From California If...
1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $100,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a
conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
named Breeze.
5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are
grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
11. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
12. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks' wearing the
baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney, really IS
George Clooney.
13. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
14. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers you mail is into S & M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
15. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?
16. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news
station: "STORM WATCH."
17. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all
busy with their cells or pagers.
18. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour
early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
19. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
20. Both you AND your dog have therapists . . .
and lastly,
21. The Terminator is your governor.
22. The Terminator is your governor.
23. The Terminator is your governor.
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Love Type Things--By Me
Date: Oct 9th, 2004 12:55:15 pm - Subscribe
Mood: empty
You know that you are still alive when you can feel pain, but I would rather be dead than have to live with the pain you put me through
I have pain on my body like bruises and cuts but I also have the pain inside my body...like heartbreak...
Everytime I see your smile it brightens up my day, I dont even have to talk to you I just gotta see you...If only you knew and if only you felt the same way!
Now My Heart Is In So Many Pieces Because Of You!
Can't you see that your causing me so much pain?
You smile just melts my soul! Why can't I stop thinking about you? You are like my life now! I wish you knew how I feel!
Looking at you smile makes my day...Talking to you making my day...Just seeing you makes my day...
If there was ANY doubt at all I would do almost anything for you!
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Camp-- I Miss You
Date: Oct 9th, 2004 12:54:16 pm - Subscribe
Mood: damned
kp-- we all love you and the members of tb1 know that you do not wear a G or briefs because you showed us. we love you and support you because you are awesome! LIVESTRONG
camp-- 2004-- awesome, i did have the 'time of my life' and i will never forget anyone or anything..i.love.you.all.so.much..! slopers 2004-- baileys group
in life there are going to be some things
thats going to make it hard to smile
but whatever you do
through all the rain and pain
you gotta keep your sense of humor
you gotta smile for me now.
remember that
..two.pac..
Comments: (1)
My Best Friends
Date: Oct 9th, 2004 12:53:51 pm - Subscribe
Mood: happy yet depressed
You NEED to have at least 1 friend in your life, I am very lucky because I have true friends. And I am glad that they are helping me through the thick and thins of love and High School. Thank You! I appreciate it greatly! 
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My Life
Date: Oct 9th, 2004 12:53:15 pm - Subscribe
Mood: shattered
Pain, define pain. The thought of losing someone close, the realization that you can never have the *one* or the feeling of your friends or your lover stabing you in the front..or back. Ha, I've gone through all of those already and I am still only a teen. Alas, all three involved one person..how ironic is that? I need someone but no one is there..and..I still love you, can't you see that? Can you see that your killing me? I feel a wave of pain as my temples throb..I can't take it anymore, I need to get free of you, cause your holding my heart like its a sheild to defend yourself against the world. If you could understand it maybe I could finally have your hand to hold in mine or just let it go. I could maybe move on. Or maybe I don't deserve you, maybe you could just not think about that and love me, like I love you with the deepest of my being. My entire heart, my soul. I need my heart so I can go on..please..please give it back...cause I can't live without it if you don't give me somthing to hold onto in return.
Written By Me
...Dana is completely right...grey can show so much emotion...
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