[today]Sep 8th, 2007 8:29:14 pm - Subscribe

I awake
from deepest sleep.
jarring alarm;
the day begins.

and I
breathe out.
get up,
dressed, and into class.

I smile,
I pretend
I'm not alone
for your benefit.

I go to lunch
and talk about
nothing that matters.
I laugh.

I go back
to my house,
to my room,
to my bed.

and for you,
I pretend
it is a
home to me.

I lie awake
in the night,
reminding myself
that I'm alive.

my autopilot
answers and responses
are not me.
I'm not a shell.

and for you,
I don't cry.
I maintain
my mask.

I numb
the emptiness;
drug my mind
with stories.

and I sleep,
dreaming deeply
of you - just
out of my reach.

[I am]numb.