The Jackson Pollock Primal Hurl Art Therapy Group for Particularly Messy Serial Killers
[poetry] - [profile] - [friends] - [archive] - [rss] - [aeonity]


regarding her grey heart

[today]Sep 19th, 2006 1:29:36 pm - Subscribe

she's a raincloud
in a clear sky
and no one claims to understand

why she'll always see
the darker side
and welcome winter in.
but there's always something -

somewhere in her heart
she hides her worry
sets out to meet the day
like nothing's wrong

but the grey
always shows through
and no amount of sunlight
can hide it

and
everybody's got it now
so that means that you
should want it too.

she holds her storm
beneath transparent layers
never looks happy enough
to pass for normal

colours wear away
and the grey of her heart
always comes through
in the end

she feels alone,
day after day,
for who could love
a heart that aches constantly?

only yours.

take my cold hands
and begin to
unpin my heart from my sleeve

and put it
into your pocket,
safe and warm.

[I am]not empty.

 [your thoughts]2


a requiem

[today]Sep 10th, 2006 5:22:55 pm - Subscribe

home?

I had one once.

I remember
when I was too young
not to take it for granted.
I remember when
every night, I fell asleep
in the same bed.

home.

a place I could
navigate in the dark.

I knew it so well.
I loved it so much.

home?

that's a place where
you feel safe
and sometimes happy.
I had one once.
I still remember.

I'll never forget
the walls,
the lightswitches, the windows

the trees in the yard
the smell, the sound.
the radio on in the evening,
the television on at night.

the love and security.

the tension. the arguments.

more than anything -
its sheer dependabilty
to always be there.

but where has it gone?

[I am]really sick.

 [your thoughts]4


autumn

[today]Sep 5th, 2006 11:58:35 pm - Subscribe


in forests deep
leaves turn to gold.

in lands far and wide
the winds are changing.

a chill upon the air;
a storm surfacing.

what is this
approaching?

the song
takes on an undercurrent,

a new season
nearing.

the land shivers
through the northern wind.

and I stand
overlooking

facing the dawn
of a new time

what is this
inside me?

I do not fear -

I no longer fear.

[I am]comtemplative.
[inspiration]the beginning of a new era of me.

 [your thoughts]3


through

[today]Aug 9th, 2006 10:23:04 pm - Subscribe


storm
lie awake
bright lights
running
loud sounds
running
late night
no jacket
turn a corner
streets shining
wide awake
heart slamming
rain pounding
losing sleep
still running
everything sparkling
through the rain
running
to you.

[I am]

 [your thoughts]5


onward

[today]Aug 2nd, 2006 12:22:13 am - Subscribe


as I stumble
through,

I gather
what I may

moments to
keep my heart alive

and I
hold them close

to keep myself
from falling away...

I will live a year
off of only today.

[I am]in love
[inspiration]today...

 [your thoughts]1


a little bit lost.

[today]Jul 29th, 2006 11:47:47 pm - Subscribe


help me find
the smile
I've lost -

I swear to God,
it was here
just a moment ago.

tell me what's
worth living for;
tell me
what's worth fighting for

because the life
that I thought I had
is dancing out of reach

and since I lost touch
I don't know
which way is up
or where to turn.

I'd write a letter
but I'm afraid
I might let on

that the walls
are closing in
on me
and my life.

so tell me
what's worth living for
within this grave
I've dug myself;

remind me why
I'm fighting
to get away from here
where do I belong?

it's for you
I know that this
is for you
and well worth it;

but I can't
remember where
I was supposed to meet you
hours ago.

turn your light
back on
and help me
find my way through.

[I am]worn down.

 [your thoughts]2


sleepless

[today]Jul 28th, 2006 12:56:59 am - Subscribe


like
a toy sailboat
in an ocean storm,
I turn
and I toss
upon currents
of half- formed thoughts

yet again,
I succeed
in making myself
sick
so here I lie,
awake
long into the night.

insomnia
snaps its fingers loudly
before my
closing eyes

wide awake,
I wish only
that I could lie
beside you
as these long hours
crawl past.

[I am]probably going to throw up.
[inspiration]ugh.

 [your thoughts]3


on fire

[today]Jul 27th, 2006 1:42:38 am - Subscribe


sky's on fire; awash with
crimson and marigold

a beautiful picture -
from the window, inspiration strikes

gathering pencil, paint and easel
aiming
to capture the sun

the air is warm and still
barefoot, she runs
into the street;
enraptured by the sky

without thinking, onto the road
without looking

headlights -
sound breaks the barrier -
one moment, clear as glass

a sunset,
the world's requiem

a street awash in crimson
reflects the marigold sky

the sun
captured in blood

the light fades,
a silent song.

[I am]a little bit scared of myself.

 [your thoughts]2


sixteen summers

[today]Jul 26th, 2006 12:55:44 am - Subscribe


a dime-sized star
burns a hole
through the clear day

in the shade,
the voices of silence
are not so far
below the surface

the murmur
of the road
distant

a breeze ripples
the stillness

the leaves
whisper

another day
like any

of sixteen summers
that I
have seen

just a day
like any other

and like any other,
I'm thinking
of you.

awake,
aware of
the passing of time

that dime-sized sun
counting sand grains
left in my hourglass

another blur
of light and sound

today is
yet another day

like any of
sixteen summers
I have lived here

just one day;
and like any other,

I would choose to be
no place but
here.

[I am]cold.
[inspiration]just a day like any other.

 [your thoughts]1


boundary

[today]Jul 24th, 2006 12:29:08 am - Subscribe


why
do we
insist

upon
drawing
lines in
the sand?

looking
at a
photograph
of the earth,

I find
myself
expecting
to see

borders
and dividers
superimposed
upon its
surface.

what for?

do you
mean
to tell me
that

the wonders
of
this planet
can be
withheld?

am I
to
believe

that I
cannot go

anywhere
I please?

[I am]content yet philosophical.
[inspiration]a map.

 [your thoughts]2


owww.

[today]Jul 23rd, 2006 1:45:31 am - Subscribe


typeface
begins to
swim
upon the page

words dance
and re-arrange
before my eyes

incomprehensible
can't follow

bright lights
pinwheel
like
a carnival

dragging
a jackhammer
through my thoughts

scattering

thunder begins
in complement
to the lightning
inside my skull

spinning and twisting
ad nauseum

constant pounding
drives away
any rational thought

thudding
and
crashing

throbbing

blinding me

spinning
and everything

stops.

[I am]in pain.
[inspiration]hopefully it's evident in the poem.

 [your thoughts]0


candle

[today]Jul 21st, 2006 10:45:00 pm - Subscribe


in
the room of my heart
firelight
makes shadows dance

wide awake
I move slowly
as though
I am dreaming

remaining still
lest you
dart past my hands
a frightened minnow

in
soft darkness
the city lights
your face

eyes
finding my own
breathing
upon embers

with this flame
upon the hearth
the room
is warm and safe

with you
inside my heart
my mind
is a different place

I fall
asleep
with your smile
on my lips

slowly
as though
dreaming
within a dream.

[I am]beginning to notice that I use fish as imagery in a lot of poems.
[inspiration]last night.

 [your thoughts]4


get the hell away

[today]Jul 19th, 2006 9:12:06 pm - Subscribe


had I
a wound
for every
bitter word,
I'd be drenched
in blood
by eight o'clock

because you don't
let up
you never
let it go

the only way
I ever heal
is by getting
the hell
away
from here

I'll scream
back at you
but only because
I don't know
what else to do...

as you
twist me
into
this hideous
creature
that I
never meant
to be

tears could
numb the pain
and release it

but it's too
bloody late
to cry;

I've already
swallowed
your poison

so don't try-
just don't
even bother -
to apologize
or feel
any remorse,
because
it wouldn't save me.

every day
I find myself
fighting
for my life

the only way
to feel safe
is to
get the hell
away from here.

[I am]so mad that I feel sick.
[inspiration]is exactly the same every time.

 [your thoughts]2


to the people of my past:

[today]Jul 17th, 2006 11:56:52 pm - Subscribe


unwittingly -
unwillingly -
I pass through your shadow:

nothing but a ghost
wandering the hallways
of my thoughts,

a name upon
pages past
in my unfolding story.

I do not wish
to be drawn
back into your life;

your piece of my heart
has long
been abandoned.

the gap you left
inside of me
is no longer here.

the girl that once
you left behind
is not who I am.

but I
have not
forgotten.

how could I?

you inspired
volumes
of my heart's despair.

I must wonder
if you ever realized
who you were to me...

lent me strength,
left me crippled;

alive with joy
to end in heartache;

shared my laughter
and broke my illusions;

took my trust
and left me with nothing.

I wonder
where you are -
who you are now.

had I
a page
of your past?

[I am]getting tired.
[inspiration]the thought of all the people I used to be close to.

 [your thoughts]2


innocence falls

[today]Jul 17th, 2006 8:47:27 pm - Subscribe


you would be
a miracle
if only you
were not condemned

your fragile life
is beautiful;
slipping through
our hands.

from the first,
your wings
too thin,
too weak to fly away

doomed the second
that you fell
into this place
from safety

had I the power,
I would mend you
and set you free
return you to the wind

but I hold little hope
for your life:
the innocent
fall yet again.

[I am]wistful
[inspiration]the first of our butterflies to emerge.

 [your thoughts]1


will you?

[today]Jul 16th, 2006 11:58:06 pm - Subscribe

I would
like to
believe
that this
serenity
will
last
this time.

I wish
I could
tell myself
now that
I am
happy,
I won't
ever
be
sad
again.

and I
won't ever
be
alone again.

hypnotic
bright lights
convince me
that all
is well

while in truth
the night
awaits
my vulnerability

I awake from
my trance,
and

I can't
imagine
why
I am
still
afraid.

but I
cannot rid
my eyes
of the images
left
by light

I haven't
a choice
but to
hope

to hope
and to know
in my
deepest
of all instinct

that you will
still catch me
when
I fall
down...
.
.
.

[I am]not sure why I wrote this.
[inspiration]is yet unknown to me.

 [your thoughts]3


small fish

[today]Jul 16th, 2006 3:00:24 am - Subscribe


a small fish
in an angry ocean's tides;
a lost feather,
sailing upon a storm -
caught in the current;
carried somewhere else
from where I've
been before,
I'm
not fighting against it
anymore.
I will not
lose my perspective
again.
I am
a dot
like everybody else.
as a fallen leaf
upon a river,
I follow you -
down
and down.

[I am]calm and happy.
[inspiration]the feeling of being in a crowd at a concert.

 [your thoughts]2


one

[today]Jul 13th, 2006 11:27:02 pm - Subscribe


My life is
a blur of colour and sound.
My life
is a stone that longs for wings.
My life is a question
asked upon the edge of sleep;
my life is breathless,
but not endless.
My life is
deep beneath
the reach of tree roots;
my life is the sun.
It's a poem
half-finished;
a soul awash
in an ocean of wonder -
my life is breathless,
but it is not endless.

[I am]introspective.
[inspiration]ride on bus to airport yesterday - the beautiful world passing in a blur.

 [your thoughts]3

navigation
previous page