Dust Is Peaceful
Date: May 3rd, 2004 12:24:53 pm - Subscribe
wonder what I was thinking and feeling before I was conceived. I'm sure that I must have been an atom or something floating around in the atmosphere somewhere, and I'm sure I must have felt something. I'm closing my eyes trying to visualize myself as an embryo floating around in someone's womb, not necessarily my mother's womb, any womb, and then I'm trying to back-track further, much further. I have this weird feeling that if I close my eyes tightly, concentrate on an imaginary focus point, let the darkness completely engulf me and just try to empty my head of all thoughts, then I will be able to get some kind of realization of what I felt like before I existed
and what I feel is nothingness...
But that can't be right can it? I mean we all must have been something and felt something prior to the physical act of conception, even if we were each just a speck of dust lingering in a doorway waiting for sunlight to make us shine. For as long as the earth has been spinning we must have been existing on it in some form or another, it doesn't make sense that we shouldn't have been.
I wonder if dust particles can think and feel?
Dust fascinates me because it silently creeps up on things like television sets, computers and dressing tables, it settles on top of them and it's like it doesn't evolve from anything, nobody gives birth to it, it just appears...
and when we die they say words like 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust...' and I may be wrong, because I've only heard of it but never witnessed it myself, but I believe that our bones turn to dust, when eventually, after fuck knows how many years, they decompose and break down
...so I was thinking, maybe all of the dust in the house, the silent dust that settles on television sets, computers and dressing tables, the dust that just mysteriously appears as if from nowhere, is really 'bone-dust', the dust from the bones of everyone who has died before us and after us
and if that is the case
maybe dust can think and feel after all
and it's possible we never really leave this planet when we die and we never really enter it when we are born, but that we are here all along, infinitely, in the form of little dust particles.
When I think of dust I feel at peace with myself and the universe - so it's a good enough excuse for me not to bother cleaning up the house tonight.
I'll just let the dust settle...
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