I'll Drink Alone
Date: May 3rd, 2004 12:22:58 pm - Subscribe
I'm not going to...
leap off the edge just because somebody tells me to. I'm not going to push the boundaries to satisfy the morbid curiosity of others. I'm not going to post photos of my tits or ass or twat. I'm not going to invent some sensational story just to draw in the crowds. I'm not going to fake my own death. I'm not going to invite anyone to the scene of a car crash. I'm not going to stick a dildo or tubes up my nose, ass or twat.
I'm not gonna fake insanity. I'm not going to mind-fuck anyone out there and tell you anything I don't mean. I'm not going to pretend I'm a fucken 'She' and then turn out to be a 'He' or vice-versa. I'm not going to tell you bullshit for bullshit's sake. I'm not going to pose with a syringe in my arm or a bag of coke in my hands. I'm not going to post gory photos from rotten.com. I'm not going to be the star in my own snuff movie or become an overnight star in some cheap fucken porn movie. I'm not going to be your puppet. I'm not going to believe the sentiments you express in your emails and respond to them. I'm not going to be this week's flavour and next week's clown.
I'm not going to be fucken sucked in.
I'm going to be a 'B' grade movie. I'm going to be boring sometimes. The sound track will hiss and crackle, the picture quality will be sub-standard and the acting will be fucken drab. I'll speak in monotone. I'll be 'AM' when you're wanting 'FM'. I'll be your 56k dial up when you wish you had broadband.
I'll be the 'extra' in my own movie who blends into the background so you don't know I'm there. I'll dress in camouglage, stand in a jungle and make like a tree. I'll be the visa card that was never approved.
I'll be the television channel you glanced at for two seconds and then hit the remote on. I'll be the telephone call that nobody answered. I'll be the birthday party where nobody showed up. I'll be the Hollywood Premier that never happened. I'll be the red carpet that nobody walked on, the Academy Award that was never given. I'll be the book that was never read, the poem that was never written, the music that was never composed and the song that was never sung.
but...
I'll still be me when the party's over. I'll still be me when the guests all leave. I'll still be me when the lights are turned off...
and I'll still be able to drink red wine and enjoy my own company
when I'm completely
alone in the
dark.
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