all rise
Date: Jan 14th, 2008 3:35:00 am - Subscribe
Mood: inspired
i wish there was an easier way to jot down thoughts before sleep overwhelms me. something easier than reaching out for a pen and paper to put down my thoughts.
i don't understand why people don't understand. it's so simple, i'm surprised it took me so long to get it. the people you love most have the most power over you and are more likely to hurt you. case in point, carlos. well, it's obvious, is it not? someone you don't know and don't care for can't hurt you.
cue trust issues. long story in short simple terms; we were in love, deeply. problems arose as they do in any given relationship. people react in different ways. i reacted by ignoring them or throwing fits and causing more problems. he reacted by being depressed. obviously, these two did not mix. i was blind and kept arguing. he fell deeper and deeper into the pit of depression. eventually one of us realized what had to be done. that person was not me. cue heartbreak, tears, whatever. that's life. he found something that made him happy, instant gratification. i can't disagree with him, he is not the first human to do so. i was devastated.
people around us saw things differently, gossiped and took sides. mine. biased to this day, people tell me to stay away. i don't. i can't walk away so easily from such a strong gravitational pull. not without a fight.
sometimes i'm not sure i have any fight left in me.
Comments: (2)
 |
tron - January 17th, 2008 |
etoile - January 22nd, 2008 |
