|
Imagine. One day you start out walking. You have no idea where you are going or what you are headed for. You just go wherever those brand new shoes take you, past buildings and concrete statues, everything around you reflecting bright sunlight. You can almost hear a song playing as you walk along, a spring in your step, a light in your eyes. The path before you goes on in a straight line, never veering left or right, at least as far as you can tell. You head for that horizon stretched out across your vision in the distance. Eventually you'll get there. Not once will you look behind you. Looking behind never did anyone any good. Looking before you brings positvie consequences. Or so you've heard. Every step brings you away from what you knew and who you thought you were. And every step brings you closer to who you really are. Now the road is becoming rough and treacherous. Rocks come loose upon contact with your feet. You are sent slipping and sliding over the concrete and the dusty ground as you struggle to control yourself. Suddenly you are no longer in control of your world as everything warps around you, creating an environment of which you are not familiar. Still, you struggle on. A wave of emotions crashes over you. Self-doubt creeps in as you stumble onwards. Did you make the right choice? Was leaving really the right thing to do? What were you thinking? Finally, you look behind you. And there is nothing. Nothing as far as the eye can see. There is only you, caught in the middle of the twisted environment you led yourself into. The path you had been following has disappeared, spriling into oblivion, leving a dark terrain behind, devoid of life. The sun has vanished from the sky, yet not a star glimmers, and the moon hides her pale face in the vast blanket of darkness that has spread across the sky. You are alone now. Every step you take brings your heart closer and closer towards your shoes. Your clothes are ragged and torn, and your feet throb along with your heart as every step you take brings you closer to reality and farther from the reality that you knew. Alone. Alone without anyone to support you, congradulate you, comfort you, laugh with you, be with you. Alone. A pinacle of light appears in the distance. It grows closer as you drag yourself towards. It hangs in the sky, chasing away the shadows that have been haunting you. A set of concrete slab lays on the ground, pure white in the midst of the blackness around it. You cast yourself down on it wearily as the light wraps itself around you, taking you away, leaving only the shell of what was once you behind. Imagine. |
|
My Global teacher called me a lone wolf today. I'm not too sure what to make of it. All because I missed a test and he was wondering if I wanted to make it up in the library or the classroom. Since my class is chatty I decided the learning center. So he says to me, "You're really the lone wolf type aren't you?" To which I replied, "I work better when I'm alone." To tell the truth, I feel better working alone than in a group. In a group, I'm manipulated into doing all the work and presenting the work. No one else in the group will do the work. Just let that quiet, nice, smart girl do it all. We'll still get the good grade. At least if I'm working by myself, the teachers can tell that I can produce high quality work. Whereas in a group, they just think that the whole group did the work, instead of one person. I like being alone sometimes. I was in a bad mood today and wasn't very tolerant of anyone. I tried to stay away from people so I wouldn't blow up on them as I'm prone to do when I'm angry. Maybe it's hormones. God only knows. Other days, what I would give for someone who understands me, someone I can actually talk to without feeling like I'm just complaining or talking to myself. Most days I feel like I need my soul mate to come up and hug me and give me a shoulder to cry on. I don't think my soul mate exists. Or will ever exist. "Oh, I'm sorry, I was zoning out, what was that?" "I'm sorry, what? I didn't catch that." "Sorry, spacing again." "What did you say? I didn't quite catch that." Even when I try and talk, to my parents, to my close friends, no one seems to hear me. Maybe I am better off alone... The lone wolf. |