Au Clair De La Lune

Apr 25th, 2010 11:37:29 pm - Subscribe

One year ago I gave up everything I thought to be right. I let go of the idea that men were my toys. I no longer felt it acceptable to treat them the way I had been treated. I forced myself into a vulnerable state for which I will never forgive myself. I allowed myself to feel loved, even though I clearly was not.

This is why I love having a blog.
This is why I hate having a blog.

I permit myself the opportunity to hurt all over again. Rereading posts where I was completely oblivious to what was going on is probably enough to make me go completely insane.

Do I dare continue reading?
If only, if only
one last cigarette.
Emporia perhaps?
Comments: (1)

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Content Copyrighted evie at Aeonity Blog
Comments:
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femmeemo - May 03rd, 2010
I don't know what it is. The budding leaves force us to feel so unsettled and unfulfilled. It's a truly wicked thing. Much like in Autumn when everything feels so right, so proper and stable.

I hate the fact that I can read back on my years of immaturity and shallowness. My heartache, and mindless lust. And yet. I ask myself if I should be rid of it all... Start fresh.

But it feels wrong somehow. So deny that I needed that period in my life to grow, to change and turn into this boring semi-adult I've become.
-A.

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