It was the Chops

Jun 19th, 2009 9:59:27 pm - Subscribe
Mood: withdrawn

Maybe I'm not taking this seriously, maybe I'm just giving up again.

I accepted three numbers and a party invitation tonight. Jeremy is still talking to me and I still have my youth and beauty and a hundred names.

I guess you could say I've had enough. It takes too much energy to make things work. It takes half this energy to start something new. Mostly because I know that nothing can possibly hurt as badly as this.

It's depressing, it will be tough. I've had worse. I can't make him love me. I can't make him see things my way. I can't keep trying if he's not willing. It's time to let him be.

I don't need this. I don't need this. I don't need this.

It would be so easy. It would be so rational.

Why can't I just say no?

Right, because he was the one who wanted something more than just sex. Leaving him would be leaving the one person in this town who doesn't just want me for the night.

I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of those people and a lot of those nights.

For once I'm not looking forward to it.

I will be giving up on sobriety and monogamy, because it's just my nature. There is no way I can get through the loss of the most important person in my life.

His creation falls to pieces with my plans that burn beside me.

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