Dating

Sep 30th, 2010 7:09:45 pm - Subscribe
Mood: fake

So you go to school?
Yeah.
That's cool. What for?
English Lit.
I was never any good at English.

*I'm dying to tell you about the books and stories I've read this semester, I want to analyze them in great length, discussing how each relates to the world surrounding me. I want to trick you into believing that I'm educated rather than shallow even though I'm fully aware of how little I talk about anything aside from myself. I'll refrain from boring you with my education and we can go back to discussing your alcoholism and all the drugs you've tried.*

So what do you do for fun?
Hang out with friends, mostly.

*I go days at a time without talking to anyone. I text my ex-boyfriend on a regular basis so I can confirm that I actually exist. I wade through seas of students. Some I feel, based on appearance, that I would be compatible but I say nothing in order to avoid the awkwardness that we call "breaking the ice." Most of the people I encounter can't even find the energy to show the most basic forms of politeness.*

What are you looking for?
I'm not sure yet.

*I'm not looking for you.*

So what do you want to do now?
I'm kind of tired. I think I'm going to go home.

*At the moment I want to get drunk, pass out in your bed, feeling for a moment that I'm not so alone. Wake up before you do, go home and go back to sleep, reminded of why I'm better off alone.

I want to not be better off alone. I want to find someone, not you, that I can feel comfortable around. I want someone who values education but listens to me talk about every mundane aspect of my life. I want to make dinner for someone who thanks me and pretends it's the best thing he's ever eaten. I want someone who can't get enough cuddling.

I want to be somewhere else, with someone else.

I want anything but another date.*

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