Down Like a Clown

Jun 13th, 2008 10:17:21 pm - Subscribe
Mood: ill

I've been horribly sick. Pukey and such. My muscles are sore and all I ever do is sleep. I couldn't keep my eyes open last night so I went to bed early, then woke up at 9. I ate some noodles and went back to sleep for a few hours. I started my period so I can use that as an excuse for all this laziness. Work is going to blow if I keep doing this. I need more exercise.

People are laughing usptairs and it's not fair.

Jeremy came to visit again and it makes me sad. He loves me so much but I'm holding out for someone else. I wish other girls realized how special he is. I wish he got out more.

Nothing seems more than just temporary. I feel like I'm not going to work at Days Inn for more than a few weeks before I find something better. People have worked there for 15 years. I can't imagine being a maid for that long. The chick who trained me had to point out that she learns faster than I since she's been doing this since she was 16. I was impressed. I'm pretty sure I have the highest education out of all of them. I'm the youngest. I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for them or envy them. They've made a career out of a minimum wage highschool job and they're okay with that. No one expects anything more out of them.

They pretty much have it made.
Or should I say, "maid."

Shut up.

So. I've lost all desire to smoke. The ladies at work are so trashy and toothless it makes me want to throw up.

Everything has that effect on me. Brain takes my sadness out on my stomach when I can't express myself. I wish I could cry. I haven't cried in ages. I know I would feel a lot better.

I got a package from Chelsea that cheered me up. I wish she would have sent me a package with herself or Josh in it, though. Missing them is making me ill. I'm so tired of not going to school and being around people. I thought summer would be a nice relaxation period but I'm even more worn out now.

I want to make out with a pretty girl or a cute boy.

Just once. Drunk or high. Just one semi-arousing encounter with an insignificant, yet attractive person would help me survive this surprisingly painful summer.

I wish to disappear for the next 2 months.

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