Go Home Already

Aug 20th, 2010 12:41:21 pm - Subscribe

The thermostat does not need to be set at 73. If you close the blinds and take fewer than forty smoke breaks between the two of you throughout the day, 77 would be a reasonable temperature. Also, you can leave your pets in Kansas City. I'm sure you could pay some kid to take care of them. Letting the dog out and leaving the door open lets the cold air out at a rapid pace. Also, I'm sure you are capable of turning lights and electronics off when they are not in use. Those things produce excess heat. Not that it matters, it's still fucking cold in here.

You do not need to help me clean my room. I'm sorry there are clothes and craft supplies on my bedroom floor. If I'm not mistaken, I write you a check each month to use the room as I please. Nothing is being destroyed, I do not leave food out. The kitchen, bathroom and living room are all clean and tidy, except after you come home.

You do not need to help me move my table upstairs. I apologize that you do not have sufficient furniture when you visit but this is what works for me.

You do not need to do my dishes. All of the things you washed are dishwasher safe. It could have been put off until I had a full load. Since I rinse my dishes after use, they are not caked in food and do not smell. I take it as an insult each time you clean something that doesn't need to be cleaned or offer to help me with the housework.

You do not live here. You stay here when you have things to do in town. I keep the house the way you left it, maybe a little cleaner. Don't criticize the way I do things. It's not hurting you or the house.

FYI your shower with Jonny has lasted over 30 minutes. I don't think you're really saving that much water by showering together.

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