I don\'t have a purpose scattered on the surface

May 22nd, 2005 7:28:19 pm - Subscribe
Mood: mixy

New =w= album is great. Buy it.

I've been really sad lately. Self-destructive as well. I scratched the shit out of my arm having a panic attack, then I wrecked my bike after getting in a fight with Lucas. Lots of cuts and bruises from that one. Felt good though.

I work on Tuesday. Snack Shack. I can't make a fucking cone. I'm so retarded. I got mad at Jeremy. I don't know how the hell I pulled that one off. He's the nicest guy in the world and I got all pissy and hung up on him. Something is wrong with me. I want to call someone just to hang out but I'm so afraid I'll be a bitch to them. I thought I was doing so well and here I am back at square one. Being pissed at the world and myself. I used to live for the pain but now I just want to be ok. It doesn't help when your best friend is better than you at everything. It's always been that way, though. I just didn't care until now.

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