I don't suppose I'll ever be with you.

Aug 12th, 2008 4:07:01 am - Subscribe
Mood: Lonely

Body image and other nonsense.

Last time I had food issues, I would look in the mirror and think; Damn I look good, I need to maintain this appearance, maybe I could be a little thinner. Now I look in the mirror and wonder how I let myself get this bad.

Three days without eating is like a total confidence boost. You lose all the water weight and you're able to suck in a lot more. I was anticipating this feeling, knowing I haven't actually lost serious poundage. Just the bloat. I looked in the mirror and realized I look the way I did years before on my "fat" days.

Not alright.

I often wonder how people can stand to look at me.

Other days I wonder why no one wants me.

I'm pretty cute for a fat girl. I wear neat clothes. I'm not a clone of everyone else.

Why don't guys call me? I have an insane amount of confidence. Is it just me or is it them?

I give.

I want to stop wanting.

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