Judge not...

Mar 2nd, 2009 5:55:07 pm - Subscribe
Mood: Annoyed

What's my deal? It's not like I'm taking a class or wasted a good portion of my life being Catholic.

I was searching Catholic Apocrypha out of boredom and stumbled upon a fantastic website by some idiot Christian extremist. I always enjoy reading anything with silly oldschool backgrounds and cheap blinky gif files.

I was reading this nauseatingly biased information about how Catholics aren't really Christians and how they found all this uninspired nonsense written by donkeys or something and vomited it into their bible.

Less colorful of course.

He/she/it gave reasons for why the apocrypha was not in the bible. Obviously it wasn't inspired nor does anyone really claim it to be but then it went on to say how it isn't in Hebrew and the Jews rejected it.

If I remember right, the Jews rejected another part of the Bible called the New Testament and I think a great deal of it was in Greek. How in the world did that get into the Bible, that doesn't belong there.

Ner. What do I know.

"Not even all Catholic 'Church Fathers' believed the Apocrypha was scripture."

If Catholicism isn't a credible religion, what makes Catholic Priests credible sources to what is true or not?

Reason number 7 the Apocrypha wasn't put into the Bible:

"It teaches immoral practices, such as lying, suicide, assasination and magical incantation."

(Assuming that word is supposed to be "assassination")

Because the Bible doesn't specifically tell you to stone your children when they misbehave. And people weren't constantly performing miracles or anything.

Damn Catholics and their witchcraft.

Hell is also real, apparently. There's a link at the bottom of the page that directs you to more fun information.

"Just because you've never seen hell doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

Just because the Bible was misinterpreted and there is no Greek or Hebrew translation for "fiery pit" doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Excuse my double negatives.

"Out of the 120,000 people that die everyday, most end up in hell."

And you are able to determine this, how? Oh right, you are either God or know the guy on a personal level. I've never read that in the Bible but I also haven't yet read the whole thing nor have I interpreted it exactly how it was intended.

"The Bible says that nobody is good enough to get into heaven. Each one of us has broken God's commandments--not one person is excepted. You have personally lied and committed other sins.

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

[L]et God be true, but every man a liar...( Romans 3:4)"

I'd prefer not to get into a red pen moment here with how the use of the word "excepted" sounds really bad here but I would like to take the opportunity to point out that they should have used a different word.

As for the substance of the statement. How would either of those quotes imply that no one gets into heaven? We have sinned, yes, we are imperfect beings. If God does indeed exist, He created us this way. The first quote could mean that we are not as great as God. It doesn't necessarily mean that we are not allowed into God's kingdom. The second quote only shows that the person's previous statement is untrue.

The website also states that people who simply lead a good life will not get into heaven. So if you accept Jesus as your personal savior, you're saved regardless of who you murder? What exactly are we striving for and whose sins are worse and why? They state that the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart. So if you obey that commandment alone, you will get into heaven? I suppose it's a good commandment and if you follow that the rest will fall into place. So why are the other commandments there if they are basically suggestions? If you follow those but not the first, you are screwed? Someone like myself with no temporal lobe or faith in humanity+ is screwed as well.

I love your God. You totally have my full attention now.

"We deserve the death penalty. This includes both physical death (the casket) and spiritual death (when the soul is separated from God and cast into hell)."

That’s why we die every time we lie, have an impure thought or question the above statement.

Unfortunately this website is full of dead links and clickables. You read something interesting and you want to know more but then when you click on “Ex Priests and Other Former Nuts” it directs you to a sad announcement that the page has been removed by the host. However, one of the working links gives advice onwhat to do when you give up hellivision:

"Read good books--particularly the olde things. The olde divines were deep thinkers. Drink from their wells."

Do you want me to take that literally? I will drink from the well of some old author and prey to God that I don't get shot.

It annoys me greatly when people use caps to emphasize a point.

"As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die... (Ezekiel 33:11)"

The Hebrew language doesn't have capitals and if they did I would hope they would have enough sense to know you don't have to capitalize everything of importance. Otherwise the entire inspired works would be capitalized, right?

"Did you know that if you do not belong to Jesus Christ you belong to Satan?"

No, please elaborate.

"You don't have to be a card carrying Satanist to serve Satan. You don't have to be a murderer, drunkard or drug addict, either. All you have to do is ignore Jesus Christ. If you don't have Jesus today, you are deceived and hell bound--you are a child of hell, a child of the devil."

I have difficulty responding to this without throwing fragile objects and swearing profusely.

Most Satanists are Atheists who view Satan as a symbolic figure of mankind. I hate the assumption that Satanism is all about worshiping some supernatural entity. I also hate it when people assume that all people who drink or do drugs are bad Christians or even bad people.

I don't even know what to say about the second part of that statement. Ignoring Jesus. Hmm. So were people just totally screwed before Jesus was born? I hate to think that people who are uninformed or "misinformed" about Jesus are completely doomed. Or that they are practicing Satanists.

I'm sure Jesus was a cool guy. Definitely someone we should all emulate. But it's really weird to think that people who don't accept Jesus as their personal savior are more doomed than the people who persecute them?

What exactly does it mean by not having Jesus? People throw that one around a lot but I don't think anyone truly thinks about what that could mean. To have Jesus.

I take that as, to possess Jesuslike characteristics. Awesome, accepting, generous, bitchin, somewhat rebellious of society's standards.

I have those. But do I have Jesus? I should ask this person; however, there is no contact information.

"Dear Reader, I am not online and therefore I do not check emails. May you find Christ and leave the internet and television alone."

Ok, I'll do that. In the meantime I'm going to continue quoting your website.

"Upside Down Cross - Symbolizes mockery and rejection of Jesus. Necklaces are worn by many satanist's. It can be seen on Rock singers and their album covers."

So Saint Peter must have been a rock singer or a Satanist. I remember something about him being crucified upside down since he didn't feel worthy of being killed the same way as Jesus. Seems like an innocent symbol. Notice I capitalize this word "Satanist" because it is, indeed, a proper name of a person belonging to the religion, whether you agree with it or not. Also, it doesn't need an apostrophe when made plural.

The page also features some inverted cross artwork and a really awful poem written by some troubled teen. Scary.

It then shows pictures of the Pope standing by an inverted cross. I know I like to make assumptions about the religious leaders based on things metal bands and teenagers write about.

I enjoy it that symbols are such a big deal. In another portion of the website Wiccans are compared to Satanists by showing how the pentagram is the same thing only flipped. They try to imply that Wiccans are Satanists simply because of that. So shouldn't that imply that Christians are Satanists because their symbol is the same only inverted?

On the note of Wicca and witchcraft

"The earthly father of all these stones was Adam. The lineage of Jesus Christ is traced back to Adam in Luke 3:23-38. Before Adam, there was no man...so...no, witchcraft is not older than worship of the true God. It came up in OPPOSITION to the worship of the true God."

So you can prove that Wicca did not exist before the Bible because the Bible says so. This is called circular reasoning and should be avoided, much like using all caps to empasize a point.

Back to Catholics

"The Great Whore, the Catholic Religion, is drunken with the blood of the saints. "

So Catholics dig saints. People martyred for their beliefs. Imagine emulating someone like that. Sheesh. Who would want to pay respect to those whores? Shortly after talking about how Catholics worship saints, it goes into a list of all the horrible things they did during the Inquisition. I've asked around. Most Catholics aren't proud of the Inquisition. That's why it's not going on anymore. I don't understand why that is on the same page as the saint criticism. Catholics recognize people who died for their beliefs, they also kill people for their beliefs. Ok. So they were wrong. They recognize this. I think the pope even apologized for it a few hundred years later. They don't do it anymore. They believe in a communion of martyrs. They must be the Antichrist?

Apparently the Inquisition is still in effect today. I stand corrected.

"A lot of Catholic priests don't even believe in God. The Catholic priesthood is a job."

A job that pays so well, might I add. I'm assuming religious leaders of other churches and groups don't get paid? Let's just throw in that Dennis Rader went to a Protestant church. Is this information significant? No Does it completely disprove Christian beliefs or the imporatance of Protestant Christianity? Not really.

"Hitler was Catholic"

Just like Denis Rader was a Protestant. How does this prove anything?

No one is safe.

"Evolutionists say that YOU used to be a fish. Do you really believe that? Sounds like a Brothers Grimm fairy tale to me. It takes more faith to believe an amoeba is my daddy than God created me. Where are all those elusive transitional forms like a lizard with feathers? There should be MILLIONS of them but NOT ONE IS FOUND."

Ugh. There's this thing called plate tectonics. It's really interesting. It's explains the idea that top layer of earth is a lot younger than the ones closer to the core. I would imagine you have to dig pretty deep to find where all the billion year old animal fossils reside. Also, the deeper you dig, things get kind of hot and have a tendency to melt, distroying billion year old fossils. Billion.

It then goes on and on about how there is no proof. There is pleanty of scientific evidence backing up the theory of evolution, that is why it is so widely accepted. Also, it it so hard to accept it as a theory? It should be taught in schools and if you're afraid your children will be corrupted by it you must have a pretty unstable set of beliefs.

I pretty much have to stop here and go do something worthwhile.

So basically to summarize the website:

Have Jesus.
Catholics are bad.
Know cursive by the age of five.
Women in the kitchen.
Hell is real.
TV is bad.
All religions are cults.
Popes are the Antichrist
Science is bad because it disproves your beliefs.
Abortion is bad and third trimester abortion is still legally practiced.
Be knowledgeable about the Bible and this website, but not anything else.

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