Late Night Pissiness

Nov 20th, 2010 1:43:27 am - Subscribe

I smoke way too much these days. Time to sell.

My uninsured brother broke his shoulder. My ex spent the evening trying to teach me the Korean alphabet. An old friend called to let me know that her life is still more exciting than mine. I'm still jonesing for someone severely out of my league. Old men dig me. Noises from the basement keep scaring me and Xu.

These are some phrases I could go the rest of my life never hearing again:

"Do you want to write my paper?"

No, Megan. I don't want to write your fucking paper even though it is likely that the required length is fewer than three pages and your dumbass elementary education instructor probably doesn't expect decent grammar, spelling or sentence structure from someone who is going to be wiping snot off of kids' faces for a living.Though I am sure that I am fully capable of writing your paper, in addition to the numerous papers I plan on writing for m own classes, I will not since you are only asking because you lack the necessary mindset to create any possible conversation aside from your miniscule assignments.

"You realize they don't use real meat, right?"

I don't give a shit how fast-food establishments prepare food. I don't care if KFC deep fried a fucking rat or if there was a finger in your Subway sandwich. I am so tired of food related horror stories. Yeah, rats urinate on soda cans and inspectors at tomato sauce plants allow an unsettling sauce/maggot ratio but what the fuck else am I supposed to eat? I'm not going to grow my own goddamn corn and extract the oil myself so I can deep fry my home-grown potatoes. Aside from the horror stories, what's the deal with everything not being "real" meat? I don't care if my greasy cheeseburger is made out of cow or textured soy product. Soy is better for you anyway. Plus, buying meatlike products is fucking expensive. *See Morningstar* I don't understand why people feel it necessary to point out that eating fast food is bad. No one ever hassles me about my steady diet of ramen noodles but heaven forbid I mention buying bologna or a tv dinner. "They don't even use real meat." a) Yes they do. b) What fucking difference does it make if they don't? People really need to think about what they're saying before they go around spouting off random "facts" about food, which our government has a tendency to regulate from time to time. Most of the time people's "It's not meat" bullshit isn't worth the effort to say or type. If people think I'm actually going to change my lifestyle for their petty (and likely made-up) cause, they better have some fucking horrifying facts because I've eaten some pretty nasty shit in certain circumstances. It's going to take a lot more to convince me not to eat delicious fast-food.

Stoners, health nuts, Megan, please shut the fuck up. You make Rachel unhappy and she should be sleeping. Not only are you wasting her time, but you're wasting the time of her reader(s).

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