Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock

Sep 4th, 2009 7:52:21 pm - Subscribe

Masturbation has become very difficult. I don't even know what I'm into anymore.

I guess I'm into Chris.

Perhaps I should take Bob's advice and go a month without sex and see where that takes me. It seems like a temporary period of abstinence would solve any sexual confusion that I'm currently experiencing.

It's so hard for me to go a week. Sometimes days without sex seems like eternity.

I've noticed that after going several days/weeks without sex, I grow somewhat afraid of it. I imagine that's why I was an alcoholic a year ago. In order to defeat my fear of sex, I had to be drunk and I had to do it all the time. So do I really like sex?

Do I like smoking?

Two things that constantly run through my mind:

I wish I was having sex.
I wish I was smoking.

Maybe if I quit both I'll realize how little I need either. I'll be able to focus on the real issues.

Like how many repeaters I will need to defeat the zombies.

If he was here I wouldn't need to masturbate. I would have been asleep hours ago. Lying next to him offers a sense of security. Touching myself is a pathetic compromise for his absence. It's no wonder I can't sleep or get off.

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