Scattered Notes and Feelings

Mar 22nd, 2009 12:11:56 am - Subscribe
Mood: flabbergasted

My day was terrible.
I am sad.
I am stressed.
My life is a little out of control at the moment.
I wrote suicidal poetry on my leg during a panic attack at work.
This is lame.
This is not what I came here to talk about.

My roommate is incredibly trashy. I haven't quite figured her out. I really don't want to. I'm left with no choice. She fascinates me.

She works two jobs. She works five days a week in housekeeping and waiting tables. I estimate that she makes around $700 a month. Rent is 350. She is always three weeks late. This would make sense if she didn't get $300 in food stamps every month. I'm not sure where her money goes. I never ask because it's not my place. Plus I'm sure if I sit in the same room with her long enough she'll probably tell me.

She had a fancy new french manicure today.
She asked me if Walmart would cash her check tomorrow. I told her she could do it tonight but she was afraid she would spend the money on alcohol. Because it is so difficult to just leave a set amount at home or in her vehicle or even a separate section in her purse.

She decided tonight that she would drink away the pain of this ongoing "boyfriend" drama. She's been seeing this guy, Devin, for about two weeks now. They met at a bar and he constantly talks about guns. A few days ago he offered a girl a ride on his moped.

Kasey finds this distasteful.
Devin doesn't think he did anything wrong.
She is upset that he doesn't see anything wrong and insists he did something wrong.
He refuses to believe that he did anything wrong.

So why are they still screaming at each other on the phone every night? Why does she feel compelled to vomit every detail to anyone with the capability of hearing?

If someone upset me that badly, I would be so embarassed that I even associated with that person that I would simply stop talking to them and then it would be a funny story for later.

She's 32 years old. My landlord is younger than she is.

I will never understand the motives of the working poor. I feel the only way I could possibly understand her reasoning and poorly linked chain of thought is by traveling back to the age of 12 when everything could be solved by punching someone on the playground. When comments about another's appearance were actually used to "win" arguements.

Ah someday I will finish my post about social classes. Someday when I obtain a better understanding of the upper class as well as the working poor. I work with these people, and I now live with them. I'm so curious and so disgusted at the same time. I could study sociology for years and never fully understand how people can be so different, simply by difference in income.

---