Sunday Dinner

Jan 21st, 2011 7:20:52 pm - Subscribe
Mood: famished

The longing still won't go away. I decided a long time ago that if I could change, things could go back to the way they were. Unfortunately my changes have sent me deeper into isolation. Farther away from those I thought I loved.

I can't help but wonder if those were actual changes or just mistakes. I feel like the same me, just alone. I'm off the pills. I'm miles away from the house that caused my destruction.

I still sleep for unreasonable hours. I stare at Xu longingly, pleading for someone to hold. My insulin reaction style diet gives me tummy aches. My unfinished paintings remind me that I'll never be.

Bland routines
Misery
Self-destruct
Don't mind me.

If I had the funding to see my nephew on a regular basis, I know I would be happier. I don't even know what my niece looks like. Kenny knows babies scare me. I'm still curious.

Plush creatures remind me that I'm not missed.

Too much of a failure to write the note.

I wish I was worth the effort.

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