That's not a deer.

May 11th, 2008 7:12:42 pm - Subscribe
Mood: distracted

Josh and I went to a lame punk show and drove around, listening to Modest Mouse on my shitty car speakers. I really felt like I connected with him. I can't explain it. It's like he just understood something that most others just ignore.

I sat with him at work into the wee hours of the night.

It was about 4am. I didn't want to end another situation with him with an awkward goodbye, as if we are both dying to go at each other but both too shy to initiate the first move.

I remembered Chelsea's E and asked if he'd like to do it with me. He agreed and I went to ask Chelsea. We split a hit around 6 and Chelsea drove us and Janece to watch the sun rise. Josh and I were already wacky from sleep deprivation so we immediately started to irritate Chelsea and Janece. This only made my feelings for him greater since I felt as though Chelsea and Janece didn't understand. Chelsea more or less demanded that I don't date him. This encourages me pine for him so much more.

People drove by asking us if we needed help. We sat there in blankets waiting for the sun to rise and for the x to kick in. Josh and I shared a blanket. He put his arm around me. This simple gesture was probably the most incredible thing I experienced in all of this. I wasn't even high yet.

Then it started. The sun rose. As did we. The whole ride home Josh and I kept touching everything. It was a stereotypical trip. Everything was soft and we wouldnt shut up about it. Sooner than expected, Josh and I were touching each other and making out uncontrollably.

His eyes were huge and he kept uttering the most hilarious things. We stopped at sonic and ordered pubic hair.

Suddenly we were at the dorms. We crawled into Janece's bed which was the softest thing ever and it seriously felt as though every cell on my body was having an orgasm. Nerve endings multiplied and crowded together, making it impossible not to vocalize such delight. Josh and I confessed our undying love for each other. We kept making out and Chelsea told us to stop. She also demanded that we don't have sex. We kept calling her sex nazi. She told us we should slow down or we'd regret it. I told her it was okay because I knew he was a neat kid and to my surprise Josh told her that he had been wanting to kiss me for a long time. I pretty much felt like a 14 year old. I still do. I still feel really special that a cute guy like Josh would want a chubby little girl like me. I feel so repulsive sometimes. Especially around him.

We talked for hours and never felt tired. Janece came in and made us leave. We went to his room where I slept for a whole hour.

I felt so refreshed but now I'm crashing. I can't wait for Janece to wake up so I can see the video. When it makes it to youtube, I'll post a link. It's probably the funniest dialog that has ever been spewed from our mouths.

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