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xstarx quiz - Subscribe
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: heidi
Birthday: 31 march
Birthplace: Leicester
Current Location: Leicester
Eye Color: Blue (amazing blue)
Hair Color: blonde (au naturele(
Height: 5"1
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: english/irish
The Shoes You Wore Today: black converse... the old uns!
Your Weakness: wayne
Your Fears: fish and fire
Your Perfect Pizza: hmm... tough one
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: to stay as happy as i can!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: hehe :p
Thoughts First Waking Up: wheres my wayney?
Your Best Physical Feature: N/A
Your Bedtime: when wayne stops txtn me...
Your Most Missed Memory: daddy
Pepsi or Coke: cherry coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: Macydees
Single or Group Dates: singles (sorry baby... i prefer just you and i)
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea all the way
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino
Do you Smoke: nope!
Do you Swear: way too much
Do you Sing: way too much...
Do you Shower Daily: Of course
Have you Been in Love: right now
Do you want to go to College: Yup
Do you want to get Married: Yup
Do you belive in yourself: nope
Do you get Motion Sickness: sometimes
Do you think you are Attractive:nope
Are you a Health Freak: nope
Do you get along with your Parents: HA you having a laugh...?
Do you like Thunderstorms: depends what mood im in
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: guilty
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No way
In the past month have you gone on a Date: what constitutes as a date...
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Is that a shopping centre? If so yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope, what about an oreo cookie surprise? still no...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yuck
In the past month have you been on Stage: dunno
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: in the shower... and bath... with prying eyes...
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk:yes...
Ever been called a Tease: i guess.. wink.gif
Ever been Beaten up: yea...
Ever Shoplifted: i already said twice i don't steal!
How do you want to Die: quietly, if not, making as much noise possible
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: an artist
What country would you most like to Visit: iceland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue
Favourite Hair Color: blonde/fair or really dark
Short or Long Hair: whatever really
Height: tall
Weight: something to hold on to please
Best Clothing Style: whatever, not uber chav... comfortable with themself
Number of Drugs I have taken: None
Number of CDs I own: too many
Number of Tattoos: nah
Number of things in my Past I Regret: don't start
0 Comments
Mood: indecisive

xstarx i guess that went well... May 23rd, 2006 12:16:54 pm - Subscribe
so today i had my first AS exam! it was english!
we had 3 exams, one on the poems we studied, on on the texts we studied and one on the two novels we studied.
the poem one was bollocks... couldn't do that one, really not confident about that! then the second one went better, i just wrote about aptonyms and use of words... i hope it was okay...
then the novel one seemed to go well i guess! i had plenty to write about which is always a good thing, i did the plan, spent about 20 mins on that, and i needed the extra 10 mins i gained from only spending 20 on the plan lol!
but i think it was okay happy.gif i hope...

psychology is on thursday and im dreading that, tmra i will just cram big time! get as much done as i can lol

hehe i miss wayne... tounge.gif and its that cheeky little feeling too... the blushing one... not the needy, moany one tounge.gif hehe how i love him
0 Comments
Mood: overstimulated
Listening to....: something corporate

xstarx MRS FUCKING TIT HEAD May 22nd, 2006 6:24:47 am - Subscribe
its lisa here... wtf!!! to me you are mrs chatterson
i hate that whore

come into school to NUMBER PIECES OF PAPER! just incase the examiner is a dumb shit... IF HE IS AN EXAMINER... HE ISN'T GOING TO BE STUPID IS HE?

i am in such a state now!

why does she have to be so idiotic

i think i want to kill her! angry.gif

0 Comments
Mood: pissed off to high heaven
Listening to....: dance dance - fall out boy

xstarx reflection... May 21st, 2006 4:34:53 pm - Subscribe
well im just home from waynes house! was cool!
last night we ordered an indian in, because elaine and rob were over, that was really nice. tounge.gif

wayne was really good to me last night, he snuggled up to me, kissed me in loads of places, he was really making an effort. i hope he knows i do appreciate it happy.gif then we stayed up talking for ages, and his mommy told us off hehe. that hasn't happened in ages! lol!

then that night, i had some really bad dreams, except i only remember 1 of 3. i know i had three but i don't know what they were about... it was weird. but in the morning i was in such a mess... i was all jittery, but wayne looked after me, kissed and cuddled me, stroked my hair. he really helped me. happy.gif

then before i went, we had an argument, i know he is right, and i told him, which was really hard... it felt horrible sad.gif well, i hope things are okay now...? i really want to make things work, but he has to help me and be patient and work WITH me...
i don't think he understands what it feels like to be constantly criticised... about everything...
but enough about that, i know what i have to try and do, and i will try hard! lol

my head is POUNDING, i felt like i had an awesome nights sleep last night, turns out i hadn't because of these dreams
angry.gif so im pretty tired

night all x
0 Comments
Mood: wounded
Listening to....: blink 182... strange :S

xstarx weather sucks... May 20th, 2006 5:49:08 am - Subscribe
*yawn* just gotten up, come downstairs to see if trouble was online, he wasn't, but his brother was... lol
blimey its cold down here! id go back and snuggle up in bed if mr would only tell me the plan for today! sad.gif lol i don't know if im seeing him or not, it would be really strange not to... i would like to see him!

its 11:30, hes gotta be awake... hmm

well i think my best bet is to go hop in the shower, get myself all pretty (if i can) and just sit and wait for the monster to txt me or call me! silly moo if he doesn't txt back by 12:15 i shall have to call him, which i don't want to do! sad.gif i hate asking him to do somehting then having to do it myself! meh
nevermind

weather is shit today, its cold, merky looking, dull, ooh and as i speak it has just pelted it down with rain! yipee...

moms out all day, till late, i was hoping that might pursuade wayne to come over... i know how much he hates her...
i like how he sticks up for me though, yesterday she practically trashed my room, i told him and it seemed like he flipped... :s

That is one of the things i like in men though, someone who will be on my side, someone who looks after me, strong. wayne is all of those things, he makes me feel so safe, i love him happy.gif

i had the weirdest dream last night...
it was like a music festival, but it was footballl... there was music playing throughout and it was all the world cup teams, and arsenal, oh and leicester. i remember seeing england, france and the ukraine. I met Theirry Henry (ABSOLUTE GOD) and some of the england squad too..
then when the ukraine played... it was a circus act... with a football... :s but Shevchenko, he gave me a load of leaflets, and i fainted, i treasured them. then after, he ccame out and started talking to me, and he kissed me (just a little peck) and i was just like... wow... wayne was really happy for me though, which was cool. Shevchenko is possibly THE most gorgeous footballer in the world! ooh and the ukrane had loads of pyrotechnics everywhere, and some of them were breathing fire... :s it was really weird... ooh and i met steven gerrard, he was playing for england in his liverpool strip... it was odd
1 Comments
Mood: insane
Listening to....: incubus, all their albums on shuffle

xstarx tee hee May 19th, 2006 1:35:29 pm - Subscribe
ahh im so sickly aren't i! fuck it, i don't care! im in love and i don't care who knows it! infact, i want everyone to know it! aaah!
0 Comments
Mood: dandy
Listening to....: annoying sales reps who are treating me like a 3 year old

xstarx IM BACK! :P May 19th, 2006 1:23:04 pm - Subscribe
hey folks! xstarx is back! hehe! its been a while! wonder who still blogs round here now?

well i can safely say how much i have grown since the last time i blogged on here, must have been just before christmas, i remember blogging about wayne inviting me over on christmas day. that didn't turn out but christmas was awesome anyway. he got me a nano for christmas, amazing huh! and for my birthday, he bought me the most beautiful ring hehe. lol how random... what else has been going on in the life of star?

well ive finished year 12! its gone so fast! things with wayne are back to normal, it seems we have gotten over our storm cloud which is awesome! im back in the butterfly stage, i love it! hehe! i love him! hehe well in a week, we will have been together for 8 months! amazing huh! its been awesome!

i have my first AS exam on tuesday, its english, meh i can't be arsed anymore! nevermind, i have to do it if i want to achieve anything lol!

Well, im back, hopefully for good, i think i will have some time on my hands now hehe tounge.gif

well im off to do some editing to this baby! hehe

star x
0 Comments
Mood: snazzy
Listening to....: bloc party - so here we are

nadonnann Madonna injured in birthday ride accident Aug 25th, 2005 2:03:07 pm - Subscribe
Madonna suffered several broken bones when she fell off a horse while riding at her English country estate on her 47th birthday.

The accident occurred at Madonna's Ashcombe House estate.

"She sustained three cracked ribs, a broken collar bone and a broken hand but is expected to be released from hospital later this evening," spokeswoman Barbara Charone said.

"The star was celebrating her 47th birthday with her husband, film director Guy Ritchie and her two children, Lourdes and Rocco."

The singer was riding with her assistant when she had the accident.

Her husband rushed her to hospital.

"She was riding a new horse, not her regular horse," her New York publicist Liz Rosenberg said.

"Hopefully she's going to get out of the hospital late tonight but she did suffer a few breaks, so she's pretty banged up."

Madonna, whose latest album Confessions on a Dancefloor is due for release in November, has been an avid fan of English country life since marrying Ritchie.

Among the country pursuits the Material Girl superstar enjoys is clay pigeon shooting.

Bought by the celebrity couple three years ago, Ashcombe House is a six-bedroom, 18th Century mansion near the picturesque village of Tollard Royal.

Tucked away in a deep chalk valley on the borders of rural Wiltshire and Dorset, it is the former home of the British society photographer Cecil Beaton and its pheasant and partridge shoot is considered one of the best in England.

Last year, Madonna won the right to exclude hikers from much of the $A21 million estate.

The singer and her husband argued that unrestricted public access would destroy their right to a private family life.
0 Comments
Mood: psycho

nadonnann That Kiss... Aug 10th, 2005 12:12:14 pm - Subscribe
This is an interview with Britney Spears right after the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, where she and Madonna Kissed during a performance.

Gideon Yago: So who slipped who the tongue?

Britney Spears: Oh my gosh. No one slipped anyone the tongue. It was just a kiss, a nice kiss.

Yago: You kiss your grandfather like that?

Spears: (Shrieking) WHAT! No, it was just a kiss, and that's it, there was no tongue!

Yago: Was that the first time you've ever kissed a woman?

Spears: Yes! Oh my gosh.

Yago: How did that whole thing come about? Was that her idea or was that your idea?

Spears: Well, in rehearsal she would play around a little bit. And she said when we actually do it, let's just feel it out here 'cause there was no choreography in that part. So we just felt it out.

Yago: How did it feel?

Spears: Cool, yeah.

Yago: Growing up, were you always a big fan of Madonna?

Spears: Oh yes, oh yes, definitely. The whole moment was so surreal 'cause I've looked up to her and I sang "Like a Virgin" when I was 3 and 4, so being up there was a moment I will never, ever forget. It was a performance of a lifetime. Being in her presence was an honor.

Yago: Sometimes performances like that lead to collaborations in the studio. Are there any plans for you two to go run off into the studio?

Spears: We'll see, we'll see about that.

Yago: Really?

Spears: (Coyly) Yeah.

Yago: Why do you think that everybody fixates on that one kiss?

Spears: I think they just think that it's bizarre. I don't know.

Yago: On behalf of most of America, I just wanted to say thank you.

Spears: Well thank you!

Yago: So tell me about the "B" necklace.

Spears: The "B" necklace?!

Yago: The "B" necklace that's around your neck.

Spears: This is something that Madonna gave me and I was very very happy when she gave it to me. She has one that says "M" and I have this one, so, "B!"
0 Comments
Mood: colorful

nadonnann New Single and Album! Aug 10th, 2005 11:58:02 am - Subscribe
"A few weeks ago Madonna.com reported that HUNG UP is going to be the first single off the new album. We are now happy to tell you that HUNG UP will debut at radio on October 17th!
Not only that, but Madonna.com is pleased to announce the release date for Madonna's new All Dance Album. Madonna fans all over the world can rejoice, because the album release date is currently scheduled for November 15, 2005! Put your dancing shoes on and plan a date with your best friends to the clubs, because October & November are going to rule!"

From: www.madonna.com
0 Comments
Mood: overjoyed

under0ath Betrayed</3 May 10th, 2005 8:18:31 am - Subscribe
Tune: Free to Conquer - Subseven

y do ur friends betray you? is it because you are too different? or you are just a pain in the butt for them?...the most painful thing is when your friends turn their backs on you...especially when u dont have a clue what u have done for such a cruel thing for them to betray you...friends should be there for each other..i always thought it to be that way...well i guess there are some people who have the wrong concept of friendship...for them friendship is a responsibilty...everything should be planned..well, thats a fucked up concept man...anyway, i dont know what i am blabbing here...friendship should involce trust and love well its a cruel world...some people are happy being alone...and that's me....

2 Comments
Mood: betrayed

nadonnann Who\'s That Girl (1987) May 3rd, 2005 1:20:10 pm - Subscribe
Why does everyone feel they have to constantly put this movie down? It is cute and funny (exactly what it is meant to be). Madonna wasn't out to prove herself as an Oscar calliber artist with this movie anyhow! She was just doing what the character called for, and she did it well. I loved her in this movie; it is my second favorite Madonna movie after Evita. The soundtrack is excellent too. It is no better or no worse than any cheesy 80's flick. To all the critics, just don't take it so seriously and you might have fun watching it. Madonna is a goddess!!!

Who's that girl

Who's that girl, who's that girl

When you see her, say a prayer and kiss your heart goodbye
She's trouble, in a word get closer to the fire
Run faster, her laughter burns you up inside
You're spinning round and round
You can't get up, you try but you can't

Chorus:

Quien es esa nina, who's that girl
Senorita, mas fina, who's that girl
Quien es esa nina, who's that girl
Senorita, mas fina, who's that girl

You try to avoid her, fate is in your hands
She's smiling, an invitation to the dance
Her heart is on the street, tu corazon es suyo
Now you're falling at her feet
You try to get away but you can't

(chorus)

Intermediate:

Light up my life, so blind I can't see
Light up my life, no one can help me now

Run faster, her laughter burns you up inside
He's spinning round and round
You can't get up, you try but you can't

(chorus)
(intermediate)

Who's that girl
Now, who's that girl
Now, who's that girl
Now, who's that girl

(chorus)
0 Comments
Mood: fabulous

nadonnann Actress - filmography May 3rd, 2005 1:03:03 pm - Subscribe
1. Hello Suckers (2005) (announced)...Texas Guinan
2. Arthur and the Minimoys (2006) (post-production) (voice)... Princess Selenia
3. Die Another Day (2002) (uncredited)... Verity
4. Swept Away (2002) ...Amber Leighton
5. The Hire: Star (2001) (uncredited)...Star
6. The Next Best Thing (2000) ...Abbie Reynolds
7. Torrance Rises (1999) ...Madonna
8. Evita (1996) ...Eva Perón
9. Girl 6 (1996) ...Boss #3
10. Four Rooms (1995) ...Elspeth (segment "The Missing Ingredient")
11. Blue in the Face (1995) ...Singing Telegram
12. Dangerous Game (1993) ...Sarah Jennings
13. Body of Evidence (1993) ...Rebecca Carlson
14. A League of Their Own (1992) ...Mae Mordabito
15. Shadows and Fog (1992) ...Marie
16. Dick Tracy (1990) ...Breathless Mahoney
17. Bloodhounds of Broadway (1989) ...Hortense Hathaway
18. Who's That Girl? (1987) ...Nikki Finn
19. Shanghai Surprise (1986) ...Gloria Tatlock
20. Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) ...Susan
21. Vision Quest (1985) ...Singer at Club
22. A Certain Sacrifice (1985) (as Madonna Louise Ciccone)...Bruna
0 Comments
Mood: bootylicious

under0ath Les Fate Ignorante May 1st, 2005 7:23:17 am - Subscribe
In the 1981 film "Richard’s Things," Liv Ullmann had an affair with the woman who had been her late husband’s mistress. In the strictly hetero "Random Hearts," Harrison Ford and Kristin Scott Thomas were brought together by the deaths of their cheating spouses in a plane crash. Now there’s "His Secret Life"...
In "Far from Heaven," set in the United States in the 1950s, a wife finds out her husband is gay. In "His Secret Life," set in Italy in the present, a widow finds out her husband was gay.
In both films the woman freaks out, then tries to deal with her new knowledge, eventually broadening her own horizons; but there the similarity ends. "His Secret Life" suffers from opening in the shadow of the superior American film.
Margherita Buy plays Antonia, who works as a nurse/counselor in a clinic where she sees a lot of HIV patients. In fact, when she gets the news of her husband Massimo’s sudden death, she’s just given positive test results to a man who says he no longer has sex with his wife but caught the virus from a (female) friend of hers.
Among the effects sent from Massimo’s office is a painting, "Le Fate Ignoranti" (the film’s original Italian title, translated as "Ignorant Fairies"). The inscription on the back, signed "Your Ignorant Fairy," indicates it was a gift celebrating "the seven years we’ve spent together."
Antonia assumes her husband had a mistress and with a little detective work learns "her" address. It takes a few visits and getting to know the neighbors before she finally meets her rival for Massimo’s affection: Michele (Stefano Accorsi). He, of course, had always known about Antonia and had resented her for being Massimo’s first priority. An assortment of people, representing about five genders and orientations, populate Michele’s apartment, especially at mealtimes. Some are neighbors, some friends; collectively they form his extended family. One who is definitely living there is Ernesto (Gabriel Garko), who has AIDS and is too weak to get out of bed. He becomes Antonia’s excuse for returning after she gets mad and storms out. This film may set a new record for the number of scenes in which the same character gets upset and leaves. Perhaps it’s intended to say something about Antonia, but it doesn’t make for good drama.
Antonia essentially becomes a fag hag as she’s drawn into Michele’s milieu. Suddenly she’s Ernesto’s caregiver and everyone’s confidante. More gradually she becomes Michele’s friend and perhaps more. From their initial antagonism they evolve into a serious, subtitled "Will & Grace." Because Michele always has a crowd around him, there aren’t enough scenes just between him and Antonia for their relationship to develop plausibly, assuming for the sake of argument that it might. A new arrival, Emir, a gay-looking Turk said to have been desired by everyone in the group, hits on Antonia almost immediately. He reawakens her desire, but she’s not ready to be unfaithful to Massimo’s memory, at least not until she sees Michele being unfaithful in a three-way that moves from a dance floor to the bedroom. In one scene that seems out of place, the "family" is outside with banners and posters as if preparing for a demonstration, but it doesn’t connect to anything until outtakes during the closing credits show a larger crowd assembled, still without explaining the context. An album’s worth of Italian pop songs are shoehorned into the soundtrack, more often distracting from the action than enhancing it.
Although director and co-writer Ferzan Ozpetek has lived in Italy – in theneighborhood where most of "His Secret Life" takes place – for 25 years, he doesn’t seem as much at home there as he did in his native Turkey in his first feature, "Steam – Hamam: The Turkish Bath," which was more solid dramatically and more homoerotic, if less varied in its eye candy. A few "Steam" fans may still want to check it out, but for the most part "His Secret Life" is likely to remain a secret
0 Comments
Mood: empowered

nadonnann Catholic League slams Madonna and Guy Apr 29th, 2005 11:04:26 am - Subscribe
New York, Mar.30: Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie have enraged the Catholics by dressing up like a nun and the ailing Pope.

The couple who donned ecclesiastical costumes at a London party celebrating the Jewish holiday of Purim were instantly condemned to languish in the outer circle of hell by the Catholic League President William Donahue. "It just goes to show you what a moral slug this man [Ritchie] is that he would get dressed up as the Pope at a time like this", New York Daily News quoted Donahue as saying.

While, Madonna's rep Liz Rosenberg insisted that those costumes are worn as a traditional Purim rite. “No disrespect was intended. Madonna dreamed of becoming a nun when she was a little girl. She said, "Finally, Iwill make my father proud!" the report quoted her as saying.

Madonna had hit off similar scandals way back in 1989 when she wore a wimple and a crucifix for her "Like a Prayer" video and later when she embraced Kaballah.

"We are quite disappointed after learning that she'd returned to the fold, so to speak. We Catholics thought we had finally gotten rid of the witch when she discovered kabbala. In the event she discovers the Wiccan religion, the Catholic League would be happy to donate a proper [witch] costume to her. And we would be ever so happy to send her husband a broom complete with instructions for what to with it", the report quoted an enraged Donahue as saying.
1 Comments
Mood: unmotivated

nadonnann Albums and Soundtracks Apr 29th, 2005 10:07:38 am - Subscribe
- GHV2 - 2001
- Music - 2000
- Next Best Thing - 2000
- Ray of Light - 1998
- In The Beginning - 1998
- Evita - Selections From - 1997
- Evita - Complete - 1996
- Something To Remember - 1995
- Bedtime Stories - 1994
- Erotica - 1992
- Erotica - Edited - 1992
- I'm Breathless - Music From Dick Tracy
- The Immaculate Collection - 1990
- Like A Prayer - 1989
- You Can Dance - 1987
- Who's That Girl - 1987
- True Blue - 1986
- Like A Virgin - 1984
- Madonna - 1983
0 Comments
Mood: happy!

nadonnann The 100 Greatest Albums Apr 29th, 2005 9:09:57 am - Subscribe
UK TV station Channel 4 will announce the results of the 100 Greatest Albums online poll in a four-hour show Sunday April 17 at 8.00pm. Madonna's 1989 album Like A Prayer charted at number 8 on the chart, and made her the only female artist to chart in the top 15!
1 - Radiohead - OK Computer
2 - U2 - The Joshua Tree
3 - Nirvana - Nevermind
4 - Michael Jackson - Thriller
5 - Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon
6 - Oasis - Definitely Maybe
7 - The Beatles - Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
8 - Madonna - Like A Prayer
9 - Guns N Roses - Appetite For Destruction
10 - The Beatles - Revolver
1 Comments
Mood: hip

under0ath Let Me Bleed To Death Apr 25th, 2005 8:14:33 am - Subscribe
Tune: Persecution - A Billion Ernies

Maybe the world would be a better place without me here, what bonus am I adding to people when I live with all this fear? I have hurt too many people since I have changed my tune, but dont worry, you won't have to see me for much longer, I am going real soon. You all seem to hate me, after reading what you said, I'm sure you all won't mind, me lying in a grave dead. I have made a fool of myself. I'm sorry but I will not. Shall not. Can not. Put that knife back upon the shelf. It's gone too far and there's no turning back, that last thing you said has made my heart crack. I have never known love, so when you say "I love you" I don't feel a thing. "I'm having a suicide party, a knife is all you need to bring" I'm just a body these days, they say depression is just a phase. But when's it going to end? My heart needs to mend.
I'm just a ghost. You can see right through me, I'm so over that 'help me' plea.
"A bestie is the one who can look at you with the biggest smile on your face and still know sumthings wrong." Well I have been smiling for months and no one knows my tale, I guess there is no bestie, to love me without fail. But thats fine coz I don't give a shit, do you think I would really care? For everyone else, me being dead is totally fair...Someone walks in, they want to stop the blood, all over the floor it's a red flood.
But with all my might, using my last breath I say: "Just let me bleed to death. Let me fade away..."
1 Comments
Mood: destroyed

under0ath Everyone But Me Apr 25th, 2005 7:58:49 am - Subscribe
Tune: Glass In The Trees - Dead Poetic

My life is like a window, I am always looking inside and never looking out, Never having any say, choices, or decisions, Never having any control of whats happening No life of my own, only what i am told is right from wrong Never having a chance to look back
theres no reflection on the glass as i look inside my open life i know its not me cause cant see me, just everyone else everyone else stepping in except me My life is open to everyone else,so just step in and have a look around then youd understand that none of its me
0 Comments
Mood: confined

under0ath i yearn for the end Apr 23rd, 2005 9:32:17 am - Subscribe
Tune: Death To Traitors - Beloved

how easy it would be. to just take away my own life. to rid me of this reality. to just cease to exist. just to down a bottle of hazardous pioson. to just walk into the kitchen and reach for the kitchen knife, which seems to call me, urges me to let my shattered soul out of this body. all i want to do is die. all i want. when others talk about their dreams, wishes and hopes. i envy them. i would do any thing just to feel again. something other than pain and hate. but will the short moments of happiness do any good? is it worth it to feel for a short moment, only to become broken again?
when this happiness and love will only bring back my past? all i want to do is stop. stop spinning, thinking, hurting, breathing. if my life was unexpectedly cut short, would any one care? or would everyone say, awwwww what a waste of oxygen.i need to stop picking this apart and just take care of this. will i make the decision of relief, or will i have a shred of strength left?? cry.gif
2 Comments
Mood: withdrawn