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So my freshman year is over in 6 days... I don't really know where it went. And I don't really care. It just sucked, is all. And I know that's my fault for not making it good or whatever, but I do have certain disadvantages. Glasses, braces, a generally nerdy demeanor, etc. And so I don't really like to talk to people because I know they just think I'm a huge dork or whatever. But I'm getting contacts this summer. And I'm going to try to change myself. And I know that everyone is going to give me all that "you're fine just the way you are" shit that everyone always talks about but can never really follow themselves, but I just don't care anymore. I'm a hypocrite, and I know it, but I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. And that's the problem. But maybe one day I'll be fixed. And I don't want to wait around for that day anymore. |
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It's almost scary how fast I've turned into a different person. But it is good. It is SO. GOOD. I feel like a whole new woman. Hahah. And not just because of my new hair or contacts or whatever, but I feel like someone else. And whoever the heck I am, they are HAPPY. It's the strangest thing. I think maybe this is the real me, and school just weighs me down. And then I sink to the bottom and it lets me go and I just whoosh right up to the surface again. Whatever it is, I will never be ready for school again. I think I'm just going to ignore the fact that school still exists, kay? Kay. |