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So this is what I did today: I woke up, feeling like death. Went to zero period and... I'm not sure I did anything but sit around. And then we had an hour because it was modified day and zero period kids don't get to sleep in, they just get to wake up at the same time and sit around for an hour after zero before first because schools are EVIL. So I joined Michael's fan page on facebook and watched youtube videos with Mattie and Hannah. And then I went to PE, and Jade told me about her awkward date. And then I went to Spanish, where I didn't do anything, because I never do. And then I went to math and we took a quiz thing and oh yeah, proofs can kiss my ass. And then I went to photo and Natalie made me go with her to take a picture but I left her by herself in the darkroom because I wanted to listen to my music. And then it was lunch and I was freezing. And Sara tried to make me move my bag so she could sit next to me, but she's annoying me lately so I wouldn't move it so she hit me and I hit her back. FUCK HER. SERIOUSLY. I've only been nice-ish to her recently because of Kody, but she doesn't even care anymore so it's whatever. And then I went to english and I fawned over young Val Kilmer. And talked to Michael about his fan club. He was all embarassed hahah he's so cute. And then I went to history and we played Jeopardy. And I was feeling way more talkative than usual, so I talked. And then I came home and ate some Chex Mix (snack mix of the gods), did some homework, made Rachel her CD. It's called Happy Happy Fun Time Volume Two: The Shabbily Made But I Used My Last Blank CD On This So You Better Appreciate It Edition. I still have to finish writing the track listing thing. So that's what I did today. "Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide. And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart... I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart." |
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So hey. I'm feeling kind of groggy right now, but in a good way. Not a talk-to-me-and-I'll-rip-your-head-off way, more like a whoo-lets-party sort of way, except not that party-ish. Apparently a run-on-sentence sort of way. Anyway, this week went by so slowly. But I talked to Andrew, and for some reason I have peace of mind now. I don't worry about him not coming back anymore. I want him to, but I'm not worried about it. I don't think of him as much, which sounds like a bad thing, but it's really not. Because if I'm thinking about him, I'm worrying about him. And then last night I went to a Frightened Rabbit concert at the HOB with Rachel. It was her first concert. It was pretty awesome. Like, very very awesome. I'm not a very descriptive type of person right now, but whatever. And then we went to Carls Jr. at one, and then we came home. I thought I would fall asleep right away, because I was so tired, but I didn't. I actually couldn't sleep because I was so happy. Hahah. And then I didn't go to my group meeting thing for English, and now, instead of going to the homecoming dance, I'M GOING BOWLING, MOTHERDECKERS. |
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I've been feeling very something lately... Not a good kind of something. Actually, it might be the absence of something. Except exhaustion. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, all that shit. I'm just weirded out by everything. And I've lost hope in everything. And I know I'll be all happy tomorrow because it's Halloween, but it'll be shortlived. By Monday I'll be just as dead inside as I am now. Okay, dead inside is a little dramatic, but I'm getting there. I think my heart is breaking? I don't know...there's no one big thing that has happened lately but I think all the little things have been kind of putting little cracks in me. I'm splintering. |