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one of my favorite rammstein songs. i needed the lyrics, so whatever. "Spiel Mit Mir" Wir teilen Zimmer und das Bett Bruderlein komm sei so nett Bruderlein komm fass mich an rutsch ganz dicht an mich heran Vor dem Bett ein schwarzes Loch und hinein fallt jedes Schaf bin schon zu alt und zahl sie doch denn ich find keinen Schlaf Unterm Nabel im Geast wartet schon ein weisser Traum Bruderlein komm halt dich fest und schuttel mir das Laub vom Baum Spiel ein Spiel mit mir gib mir deine Hand und spiel mit mir ein Spiel spiel mit mir ein Spiel spiel mit mir weil wir alleine sind spiel mit mir ein Spiel Vater Mutter Kind Dem Bruderlein schmerzt die Hand er dreht sich wieder an die Wand der Bruder hilft mir dann und wann damit ich schlafen kann Spiel ein Spiel mit mir gib mir deine Hand und spiel mit mir ein Spiel spiel mit mir ein Spiel spiel mit mir weil wir alleine sind spiel mit mir ein Spiel Vater Mutter Kind |
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so basically, my thoughts are running on few subjects. i don't think i have to even SAY that one of these subjects is my boyfriend. the others, however, are as follows: -summer -writing (songs and stories) -the storyboard for my comic book -summer -summer -summer -seeing my best friend Rem soon -summer. so, i've been thinking of summer lately... i don't know. it's just going to be great. last summer i was a loner, but i did get to spend a good chunk of time with Rem. but i was pretty lonely and pathetic. and 30 pounds heavier. oh my. but, i've shed some weight, so obviously i've got a little boost in confidence. and this summer i should have a vehicle of some sort, even if it's going to be a borrowed vehicle that only plays cassettes... -staples hand to forehead- poor me. oh well. i can listen to my dad's old nine inch nails, soundgarden and alice in chains cassettes. oh, he has the offspring, too. plus, has radio ever treated me wrong? anyway. and then the summer before THAT (this would be summer of '04, correct?) i acted out and did the whole immature rebellion thing. came home from the mall once with fifteen bruises all over my arms, neck and shoulders (THANKS TO CARELESSNESS AND STUPID MALLRAT POSERS WITH SHARP TEETH). that got me into a world of trouble. but i'm a good kid now. i really am. -grins- all kidding aside, though, i have improved attitude-wise and body-wise. who could ask for more? ahh. i could ramble forever on summer. but i won't. or will i? ...no. i won't. bye. (for now.) oh. i forgot to mention.. i'm practically living at Rem's this summer. ![]() yeeee!! |
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Mood: summertastic, despite the torrential downpour damage outside current question on the gray matter:: will summer be as awesomely good as i hope? |
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i've completely forgotten what this entry was about. but i'm in a fantastic mood. i want to write love letters and love songs and poetry until my heart bleeds through my eye sockets. the romance is seriously going to kill me tonight. what are nights for, but immeasurable amounts of romance and love and nostalgia and missing things you don't have? what is possibly better? i hate having these rushes of emotion, because they always seem to end. but for this moment in time, i can bask in the utter helplessness of loving somebody like i do. it makes me feel like... i don't know. he makes me feel like nothing else on this earth. it's better than anything i've ever known. |
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Mood: positively dazzled. current question on the gray matter:: when can i lay under the stars with him? |
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yes, i'm still obsessed with greenday. leave me alone. kay, so, the boyfriend and i had a.. little thing on the phone, which was unpleasant during and even more unpleasant after, when i felt all guilty and.. well, i'm not going to get into it. it's over and done with, and all i wanna think about is seeing his lovely face tomorrow and kissing him. just thinking about touching him at all makes me super excited. my earlobes are sore. i re-pierced two of the four holes with a standard 18-gauge stud and then shoved a 14-gauge ring in each hole right after. not smart. my left ear bled. so now all of them are 14-gauge rings. yummy. anyway, my bottom lip has a little cut on the right side. it tastes coppery and raw. i like it there. good thing it's not in the center of my lip; then i couldn't wear a lipring for a bit due to irritation. lucky me. :p the song "extraordinary girl" is such a sad song (by greenday, if you hadn't guessed), but it makes me feel so relaxed and dreamy. weird. anyway, bye. |
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i had some kind of dream lastnight involving joshua. i know it wasn't good... something bad happened, but now i can't remember. i hate that. i'm trying to get back my good nightmares, the ones that are really out there and abstract. but lately i've just been having horrible dreams about joshua. OHH MAN OW. i accidentally re-opened that slice on my lip. owww.....yumm... i just got done reading "Exquisite Corpse" by Poppy Z. Brite. reading her books makes me feel this weird, extremely intense mixture of morbidity, sadness and total sexual excitement. it all mixes up into a lovely feeling, though, but i don't want to talk about it anymore because of a few reasons. one, i don't want to get too in-detail about my perversions and such. two, if one actually read "Exquisite Corpse" and didn't have my same mindset or personality, they'd wonder why a bunch of homo cannibals turn me on. well. whatever. cannibalism doesn't turn me on. but reading a book full of sexual perversion and societal taboos mixed in together in explicit prose... i mean, i melt. anyway.. i don't feel like becoming morbid right now. i'm at school, and i can't get into that situation. at home i can lay back and enjoy the mental scenery, but at school i need to concentrate. ugh. i had a point to this entry. now it has been completely forgotten. :| whatever. i'll probably update later. |