I watch the clock, tick away the day...

And that is my day.
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I miss my best friend, and I miss my ability to sleep until ten, and the ability to do things during the day.

I like the pay check, but I still live at home so, how well am I truely doing?
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On the inside I am miserable.
I love Spencer, and miss Nellus, and I loathe my family.

WHen will this all change?
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Terrible thoughts. I love him so stupidly much, but...

I want things.
Things I can't have, in the here and now, with him...
Like travel,
like move out quickly,
like rely on when he'll be done work.

It seems so selfish, to take something so perfect, and question it based on my own petty selfish needs.

I wish I were lonesomely wandering the world, shacked up in a shanty in some obscure part of the globe, far from the mundaneness of the digital world of the west.

I hate this valuation system that us westerners have, who's to say that a writer is less important than an accountant, and a teacher makes less than an electrician?

I want common sense, and to be taken seriously as a human being... to escape these false hopes and dreams and aspirations, that in all actuality only belong to my parents, my grandparents, my tormentors...

I want to have my perfect world, without the pain of building it myself.
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So. Another week gone by, another Friday almost done. This weekend I shall grace the Calgary Zoo with my presence.

I'm hyped.

Twenty, and never been to the Calgary zoo.