Dec 14th, 2010 1:59:30 pm - Subscribe

Everytime I login in- and yet- when I think about deleting my account, making a new one and forgiving the wreck that I used to be- and still am...

I can't do it.

I am confused about what the next four months will hold. I am cold- and fuzzy.


Everything seems like it will pan out and then- I can't help but worry about the ramifications of my actions if I go through with things. It just seems so...

Easy? And yet like such a cop-out.
I fear change- and this is the biggest problem.

I am avoiding going home because it is so filthy I don't know where to start cleaning- and I can't sit there and just leave it and so... I stay out late and only come home to sleep. Or sleep on friends couches. Or the fiends' bed.
I want a Christmas tree.

I want shiny lights.
I want.
I want not to want anymore.
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