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| No Love Lost. |
Dec 28th, 2009 12:56:45 pm - Subscribe |
| I've been lied to twice in the past week. And before I rant, I'd just like to point out that I, myself, am not anywhere near perfect. I think I finally figured out what I hate most about the relationship that I am in. I think I finally got it, and it kills me to think this way. I will always be second fiddle to someone else. I will never be the one. Most days its' just to his family. His job. It kills me that I cannot just be enough for him. I try my hardest everyday to please him. I cook, and I get no thanks. I clean, he makes a mess. I do things that I hate for him, and I get no recoginition. Seemingly, three years later I've been okay with his indifference and nonchalance. But you fucking lie to me, and thats another issue entirely. Not to mention the fucking fact that on top of being overwhelmingly angry, and sad, and selfloathing.... I get to listen to your perfect sister tell me about how, if we don't find a BALANCE thinks how miserable we'll be in ten years. And we'll fall out of love... don't you know... Fuck off. When most nights her fiance sleeps on the couch because they're fighting. Just because you read the five languages of love doesn't make you a fucking guru. I just want him to fucking care. Otherwise, it'll just be easier to pack my fucking bags. I am tired to telling myself that I need to put in more effort. As it stands the only one he acts like a deadbeat for is me. If he will jump at the drop of a hat for his family, or his boss, be their hero... why am I always the inconvience? - |
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| I Feel: Appalled. I Hear: a headache in the making. |
(1) postcard(s) |
| deathcab4u |
December 28th, 2009 |
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| *sigh* I believe that one thing that most people desire, perhaps need, in a relationship is to be appreciated. Appreciated for our sacrifices, our effort, our love and just for who we are. I try to be confident but something just warms me to the core and fills me with happiness when someone else makes me feel important to them. I NEED to know that sometimes I am all you need just for right now. I would never expect to be able to fulfill all someones needs, time or passions. I do want to feel as if I am an appreciated component to their life and their happiness. Oh me, oh my. It is late and I am not sure what or why I am saying this now but I think you will like it. |
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