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end-of am not - Subscribe
too much is
the lack,

and I curl
my body, a fist

around my
clenched heart.

look down,
walk straight

display armour,
inside whisper

you are loved,
you are loved —

but I’m not.

I am not,

and the lack
is too much.
Mood: spiky.

end-of curve. Mar 14th, 2018 4:10:41 pm - Subscribe
I’m not about
straight lines,
never was.

is not my kind
of beautiful.

I dwell in the
curves, in
the corners;

I’m alive in
the gradient
of light,

the elliptical orbit,
travel of shadow,
circuit of seasons.

I’m not about
the angle,
never will be.

what is
is what is
beautiful to me.

seek and find
along gentle hills,
in uneven riverbeds:

moss-soft wind,
houndstooth leaf,
full, round flesh.

I never was
about becoming
Mood: warm.

end-of in the shadow of the moon Aug 21st, 2017 10:54:51 pm - Subscribe
the god in you
gently brushed closed
the sun’s eyelid.

the god in me
spent her daytime hours
pulling us back

from underneath
the deep shadow
of the moon.

the god in the earth
held her breath,
only hoping —

at times, faith
is all we have
to fall upon.

the gods in us
in half-light stood,
a pinhole crescent;

and the god in me
bathes, relieved
in the evening glow.

the sky again
the sun is free.
Mood: contemplative.

end-of ten years. Jul 16th, 2016 6:12:50 pm - Subscribe
I was the same soul
when this began

the words in my veins
never change;
but more arrive
every day

ten years slipped
past like a wave

there was always
a home for me
in poetry and in
this imaginary place

this decade is
the one I am built on

ten years from now
I will still be
this soul, this
human, this sister

I will still be a dreamer
you'll know me

recognize me
by my words
and my seasons
if we ever passed

I will know you by
your constant light

my love songs are
for the ocean and
for you, if you
still remember

meet you ten years
down the road.
Mood: joyful.
inspiration: I've been writing here for a decade. thanks for existing <3

end-of after. Feb 20th, 2016 4:24:28 am - Subscribe

it's always
that the full
impact hits.

it's later,
in the quiet.

it's not
when I am
in it
that I feel it:

it's after,
on my own.

in memory,
I want all
the wanting
that I

could not

with you
right there
in reach.

I never
for you.

you go,

when I
am alone,

I tremble
and spin
in currents

too strong;

I ache,

but only

Mood: aching.

end-of February Feb 8th, 2016 6:27:01 pm - Subscribe
it's better
than words,
and I am

lost in it,
I'm dreaming

memory plays
while I wander
in its haze

and follow the
shades of you,
echoes of us

blind to the
night roads
the grey sky

what I see is
your smile and
your dark eyes

laughing with
the past, I
let time slip

turn a corner
step into the
february flurry

swirling cascade
of a million
blushing petals

from tree limbs
austere and bare
one week ago

the air is alive
with these threads
of tenderness

rains down
onto me and

I can't help it:
shut my eyes
and hope hard

this is better
than words and
I'm lost in it.
Mood: brave

end-of other stars. Jan 31st, 2016 6:57:17 am - Subscribe
ten years ago

one clear
mountain night
we watched
orion rise

in the firelight
I fell and fell
in love
the first time

ten years later

worlds apart
I ran beneath
the night sky
in all your stars

and all along
you were
over my

I thought
it was to
cast my path
into darkness

to show me
my own
ten years later

orion holds
in the east
all along you lit
the way for me

as if I
could go
back to
the mountain

the firelight
to that night
could touch
our young faces

could say
yes. yes
love is real
love is worthy

it is all,
it moves
the sun
the other stars

ten years later
orion holds
worlds apart
we collide
Mood: nostalgic.

end-of reflection Dec 21st, 2015 1:22:49 am - Subscribe
I was made
for the empty
bloodless hours

I was a temple
to memory
a reflection

I was born for
thin shadows
winter moonlight

I understood
solitude at the
intrinsic level

I was meant
to hold hands
with ghosts

I was less
a person, more
a hypothesis

I was the one
holding on
to the past
Mood: watchful.

end-of chapter one. Dec 6th, 2015 12:54:16 pm - Subscribe
where I am
is at last at
the beginning.

when the vernal wind
sweeps spring along
fresh and lively into
early summer.

I am twenty-five.

again the calendar
ticks over;
it always has,
as far as I know.


I remain at this point
in my own june.

I'm twenty-five,

and I like to feel
the cold air on my skin
and I like to be

and sometimes I
love deeply enough
to split my shell open

to let the light in.

and everything
before this was the

finally it begins.
all is set in motion.

I'm twenty-five and

now I will make things

and finally
I go
wherever I go from here.
Mood: thoughtful.

end-of cold. Sep 24th, 2015 10:06:44 pm - Subscribe
you pretend
the raindrops
are bullets
take cover

you're anxious
silvery wind
may slip in
to touch you

you tell me
the waves are
too cold now
for swimming

I am outside
rain drenching
thin clothing
I can't hear

I am under the
green glass ocean
as a fish

and maybe it's
because I was
made for these
northern forests

or maybe I'm
burning inside
and the water

or maybe I
am something
not entirely
human or

maybe I am
already frozen
and so
merely numb
Mood: away.

end-of August Aug 10th, 2015 2:57:09 am - Subscribe
you cannot know
what someone else
may find beautiful.

perhaps even
those things you
keep in shadows

perhaps more so
the parts you
rarely let show

perhaps best
to bravely shed
your armour

to let the wind
wash through you

to touch things
with your real skin

and be hurt
by what's worth
hoping for.
Mood: always hopeful.

end-of July Jul 19th, 2015 12:12:23 pm - Subscribe
it's not you.
not your lean, tan arms,
your smoky smile.

it's not the height of you,
your strong shoulders,
the way you move.

it isn't you, it's me:
my summer skin,
my endless energy;

the way I feel -
sun-drunk, at ease -
the way, with you, I'm me.

it's not you,
it's purely circumstance
the way, with you, I'm free.

when you appear,
I swoon and fall
in love with all July,

but it's not you
I'm falling for -
it's what you do to me.

it's not you, it's me
this time and place
this brief, sweet season

what I become, at last -
what I now have,
I've always wanted.

the diving-forward momentum,
the stomach flip,
the soaring heart

are symptoms of
the exhilaration
of being next to you,

of being me right now,
of wanting nothing else,
of fitting into myself.

it's not you,
it's me who will
remember this all my life.
Mood: manic.

end-of gesture. Feb 15th, 2015 3:46:18 pm - Subscribe
if you picked up
a pebble
dusty and smooth
on your way home
because you were
thinking of me
and pressed it
into my palm
I would count it among
my most valued.
if you saw me smile
at a little flower growing
unwanted somewhere
and plucked it for me
it would bloom
in my mind's eye
all my life.
but we sit together
in candlelit silence
and romantic splendor
and you do not
take my offered hand
across the table
and I ask for too much
I ask for
too much.
Mood: anxious.

end-of orion. Sep 2nd, 2014 8:14:56 pm - Subscribe
rain descends:
a soft, emphatic
ending summer.

topmost leaves
already faded
green to gold
in the heat.

and such relief.

as orion rises
in the east
and storms
revive the
winter green,

I, for once,
don't ache
for spring -

the autumn
new life
to me.

I face
what comes:

I'm still
Mood: alive.

end-of I was free. Jun 27th, 2014 7:04:35 pm - Subscribe
I folded up
myself like
a paper airplane
launched me
into the blue

and flew.

upon arrival I
breathed in
the ocean air
and unfurled;
grew roots
deep into
that earth

and stayed.

I was

I am

I want
Mood: existential.

end-of lost. Apr 27th, 2014 1:25:12 pm - Subscribe
I break the peace:

if I had my
malevolent way
this city
would empty out

people, their dogs
and their cars
would evaporate

and leave me
with the landscape

because my skin
is too much too
small for me

and my feet have
devoured the space
of this island
running from one shore
to the opposite

now I'll never be
blissfully lost
and I'll never be
lonely again

and I've never felt
so shackled by
anything I've loved
this much

but I made this bed
and I'll hide under it.
have a drink, and
I'll shrink to my
reduced self

like I'll never
be lonely again;
like I've never felt
lost in my life.
Mood: bitter.

end-of becoming. Apr 13th, 2014 2:59:00 pm - Subscribe
an enchanted sleep
on the sharp edge
of summer, in
a blooming field -

you fall under
its spell and
then are lost to
wander in sunlight.

in dappled shade
of sweet-scented green,
I breathe in
the spring breeze;

sing to me until
I don't remember
bitter winter's
grey memory.

all I need is the
change in season
to drown in light,
and will not struggle.

after this moment,
the wanting stops:
you become what you are
and cannot be shifted.
Mood: holding my breath.

end-of begin. Feb 28th, 2014 10:47:51 am - Subscribe
is a thing that
I've learned.

I can't shake
the sadness
of endings,

the finality
of goodbye,
the knowing

I go now,
I will not

ever stand
at this window

but sadness
is a thing that
I've grown around

and learned
the only way
is onward.

I've come
to love
the road itself -

even when it
leads from where
I've been happy -

and follow now
without the
weight of sorrow

to beginnings
and new days
and new homes.
Mood: in sunlight.

frost A Game of Thrones Season 4 Anticipation Feb 26th, 2014 12:17:08 am - Subscribe
Spoiler Alerts!!! If you have not watched through Season 3, please read no further as this blog will contain some spoilers.

Game of Thrones, a hit series on HBO is returning April 6th, 2014 for their 4th Season. Episode 1 of Season 04 should be a huge hit. I know I am awaiting in anticipation for the new Season of the Game of Throne series. After Season 3's finale, I am stoked to see where the next season will take us. I have been reading A song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin, after watching the first 3 Seasons of Game of Thrones and am simply astonished at how the Game of Throne Series follows the books. If you have not already, I highly recommend grabbing the BluRay of Season 1 of the Game of Thrones.

I am waiting to read the 4th book till after all of Season 4 has come to an end, simple because I love the series on TV and like to have a "guide line" if you will as I read the book. Putting faces to names always helps me with books. Granted the big differences from the Book to the Television set are the ages of the characters. It is hard to imagine, the recently deceased Rob Stark, as a 15 year old boy starting out. But somehow the characters works all the same. In my opinion, the cast of Game of Thrones on HBO was an excellent choice. Not that my opinion really matters.

If you have not yet done so, I highly suggest watching the Game of Thrones series. If you have watched all the Seasons of Game of Thrones, you should read and or listen to A Song of Ice and Fire: Game of Thrones Book 1 by George R.R. Martin. The reader of the Audio Book series, Roy Dotrice, does an excellent job of reading the characters and is very pleasant to listen to. My favorite part about reading the books has been the clarification and understanding of certain characters in the Series. The biggest, perhaps, has been who John Snow really was and the origin of his last name. I know they state that he is a bastard, but it never made sense to me why he was called Snow (maybe I just missed that part in the TV Series). That was an eye opener and an "Ohhhhh" type moment.

So if you are bored of the same old stuff on ABC, NBC, CBS and other boring stations of the such. I would highly suggest checking out Game of Thrones on HBO. Maybe perhaps give the books a reading too. For me, it was well worth my boredom time to read and watch.
Mood: solem
inspiration: got, game of thrones, game, thrones, fire, ice, song of fire and ice, song, books, audio, audiobook, hbo, tv, series, watch, listen, read, enjoy, learning, anticipation, waiting, view, april, 2014

end-of the match Feb 14th, 2014 2:05:20 pm - Subscribe
we don't
speak about

in detail.

as if
words and

one another.

but in case
my eyes
and my hands

told you,

in words
today I
will say

what is true:

that you are
every light
in my sky

and also that

you are
every comfort
that I need

and, without

that you are
the match
to my soul

and I
love you so.
Mood: enjoying life.