fliterbink's Blog

Relieved
Date: 5/08/2006 11:50 - Subscribe
Mood: free


Date: May 8, 2006

I ended it. Tonight, I finally just said - that's it. No more relationship, no more serious dating - not till I'm finished with school and maybe not even then.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I am free. And not to find someone else, but to continue finding myself. He was a roadblock. I kind of feel bad for feeling so happy that this is finally over though. 4 months only and it feels like a year. It reminded me so much of my marriage that it was making me sick to my stomach and repulsed everytime he even looked at me.

I am free to not hide that I have great friends who I can talk to now without a guilty conscious. I am free to go where I please, when I please. I am free from him.

He wasn't a dick about it. He begged a little - that sucked and I felt like an ass. But I'm proud of myself for not budging and for sticking up for myself and for not getting defensive when he tried to hurt me a little. I'm glad that I did this on my own accord and did not give in to his plea's of compromise and hurt, when I know in my heart we will not work. Ever. I am so relieved and happy.

I don't think that's wrong. In fact, it makes me know that this was the right thing to do.

-J
Comments: (2)

femmeemo - May 09th, 2006 Good for you, it sounds like it will be for the better. I have the pushover problem myself. I really want to stand up, but derationalize it. I am so happy for you... Night fliterbink! -Femme.

moongirl - May 09th, 2006 I'm with Femme - cheering and clapping. I know it's hard to make that break, but I know you've done the right thing. *hugs*

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