fliterbinks Aeonity Blog

Who is in control?

Sat, 20 May 2006 23:27:13 -0500

Date: May 19, 2006 All too often people have controlling relationships. I know 3 people who resist it, however, I feel certain that its bound to happen in any relationship, even to a small degree. With these 3 people, it causes problems and in turn, puts them in the controlling position. One of my friends and the significant other had it pret... Read More

conveniences of familiarity

Fri, 12 May 2006 01:30:16 -0500

Date: May 11, 2006 Today I was told (in email I might add) that I am a cold, self-centered, heartless bitch who will never have a successful relationship because I find them all as convenieces of familiarity because I'm lost in my new life. HAHAHA! Whatever makes him feel better I guess. It wasn't even worth a reply so I just deleted it. The... Read More

Relieved

Mon, 08 May 2006 23:50:38 -0500

Date: May 8, 2006 I ended it. Tonight, I finally just said - that's it. No more relationship, no more serious dating - not till I'm finished with school and maybe not even then. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I am free. And not to find someone else, but to continue finding myself. He was a roadblock. I kind of feel bad for f... Read More

Some people. Some days.

Sat, 06 May 2006 23:48:21 -0500

Date: May 6,2006 Today was so long! It felt balanced though. Good and bad. I worked from 7am till 2 then from 5 till 9:30. I knew during my break I could not settle down or I would be too tired to go back to work so I cleaned and then I went shirt hunting at my b/f's house. I also attempted to either break up with him or make him have no... Read More

In anticipation of...a break?

Fri, 05 May 2006 01:06:47 -0500

Date: May 5, 2006 I write at all times - its how I funnel thoughts and ideas through my head. Its how I stay sane. Its how I make sense of the world. My world. I used to blog on myspace and livejournal but somehow my livejournal got messed up and I thought I'd try this instead of re-create it. On myspace I have only the people I want re... Read More

Relaxing

Thu, 04 May 2006 19:41:26 -0500

Date: May 4, 2006 Tonight I'm eating some kind of health food pizza with my parents. They diet for a few weeks at a time then go off of it for a couple weeks. It seems to work for them but my brother and I hate it since we are skinny and don't need to or want to diet. This is the first night I've had to myself where I did my own thing, st... Read More

The color made it real

Thu, 04 May 2006 10:17:30 -0500

Date: May 4, 2006 This was the most cruel dream yet. Very odd how I have not had bad dreams about the past for a couple months and then all of a sudden I have one that makes me sick to my stomach and brings back the hurt once again. I was at a house. In my mind it was "our" house that we used to share, but inside it represented every apartm... Read More

Relationship Deja vu

Thu, 04 May 2006 10:17:00 -0500

Date: May 3, 2006 I feel trapped. I can't make sense of my life. What do I want? What don't I want? I guess it's more of a question of what do I need. Maybe I don't want to have to figure out what I need - maybe I just want someone who knows without me telling them. Because I sure as hell don't know I also don't want someone telling me w... Read More