Self-sacrifice
Date: Nov 18th, 2009 1:54:09 am - Subscribe
Mood: lousy
In the bus a while ago, I had the chance to remember the value of non-self-sacrifice in order to love oneself first before everybody else. I was standing inside the moving bus as a passenger, waiting for any seat to be vacated, when, near me, a passenger left his seat and headed towards the bus door to leave. By instinct, I got the seat for myself. Yet before I sit, I saw a man with a bag on his shoulder, and told myself, "Maybe this man works here. i don't work, so maybe he needs to sit." It took me some time to think first about it. Then I made my decision. I left my seat and gave it to the man. I, alone, stood back hanging my hand on the hand grills. After that, I felt ashamed. Why did I do that? Is it reasonable for me to do it because I judged the man by my own measure? As I felt embarrassed, I told myself, maybe I was expecting something from him. By judging him by his works, I sacrificed my own right to sit on a passenger seat. As that happened, I decided not to look back, and take not the credit of receiving any attention from him. "Don't look back," was the words I remembered, words that came from a friend. So I did not mind my sacrifice. I lost me. I lost my convenience.
So, is it love? When I got home, my father had to fill the emptiness inside me by giving me food, which I ate.
I just thought there was wrong.
Or maybe, I did the right thing. Perhaps. I don't know.
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