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so next week, im going to try and make it in to that posh restaurant on queens st. i think colton brother might get us in but w/e, i wanna go with my mom. i know she doesn't support my cooking aspirations, but i still don't give a fuck. i mean, look at donatella arpaia? she's done it. the same way i want to. i don't hate food, as many people misunderstand. i love food. i've realized that food gives off many of the strongest sensations in the world. it's amazing. it changes people. |
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oh and one more thing you've totally ruined pride week for me. totally ruined my fun-filled summer. i'm dreading tomorrow. |
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jesus. my pulse just sped up more then it ever could when i work out. i'm shaking. I'M SHAKING FROM WRITING A GOD DAMN BLOG ENTRY JESUS CHRIST SAVEEE MEE oh, but maybe this is occuring because i just initiated conversation with you? maybe? maybe because you're telling me about her. |
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jk i'm feeling sick, and queasy. i keep seeing myself in the near future working 24/7 because thats the only thing i've got going for me. and then later, i'll end up alone with out even realizing it till the last minute. alone with my cats. i've got so much dreams. i need them all fulfilled. i feel like im the only one who can give that to myself. i feel like with me, there is no "forever" because i can never be sure. oh, and today, i remembered you. just now actually. i'm so sorry. you used to be my best buddy, bet you never thought that i'd mature and replace you with an replica. or should i say immature. you're the only j that should be put on a pedestal. 'nuff said. hope you and lynne are doing wonders. talk to me someday. ring me someday. i feel selfish when i fear. my phobias are so self-induced. back to the sick and queasy: something has changed. it terrifies the shit out of me. everything was so dependable, blah blah blah.. but then out of no where you get this big evolution of neoterism. except, no innovation here -- more like disconnection. oh, there you go again. as i right this entry, there you go again. in the back of my mind. making me sick and queasy. can you just let me go? |
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So likeeee i know these people that live around here in good old toronto WHO ARE SICKENING they're even worse then the thornhill kids who were all like "YA LOOK@ ME IN MY NEON BOXERS". these kids are sickening, spoiled little bitches. plus, clubbing is shit. |
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happy fathers day. i bought chocolate for my dad lol on another note, yesterday, at yorkdale i bought a friend a going away present from m.a.c. 20 bucks for a small container of teal eyeshadow? holy shit, should i have done that? and then she started reminding me (not on purpose, i hope) of what a loser i am at our private school, (i probably started feeling this way because i realized the allure of drinking, getting high, and being shitfaced in general had come and gone for me) but then i remembered i had someone. someone she didn't have. it all became easy. (P.S. i think my vegan self is going to have to start eating salmon again  )
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