gatwiri's Blog

Knowing Me, Knowing You
When: Sep 29th, 2005 8:17:35 am - Subscribe
I'm feeling: Really Thankful


Found this interesting set of questions while trawling the net. (Amazing what you can find). So, here are my answers...............

1. Your Fave Kenyan food

a. Without a doubt, hands down, it has to be Roast Meat (nyama choma). For one, our meat is not manufactured from hormones, just plain old, grass-eating, non-genetically modified members of the animal kingdom. E.g. cows, GOATS (yeah!!), sheep and chicken.

b. Food we eat with our hands - you know cutlery came to Africa on a boat!! This includes Ugali and sukuma wiki, chapu with meat stew, mukimo and meat stew, and the most common rice dish - pilau.

2. Your Fave Kenyan drink

a. Where the hell did Treetop juice go? I love Picana, that natural fruit juice from the mango trees of Coast, which are also not grown with hormones.

b. Kenyan Tea. Or rather "chai moshi" i.e. tea cooked over an open fire till it has a hint of smoke. Tea is a woman thing in Kenya.

3. Your Fave Kenyan TV program

a. For someone old school, i.e. from the days when there was one TV station, I remember with nostalgia "Vitimbi" esp. when the one and only Ojwang' was cast as a word-up (boy from the hood) and grooved to "In the club" (believe that!). There was also that scary program "Tahamaki" The Exorcist can't hold a candle to this freaky show.

b. Reflections - There was one REALLY fly dude who appeared for a while, but this program is Kenyan drama and comedy at its best.

c. Music Time - MTV and VH1 cannot compare to Fred Obachi Machoka hosting this programme.

If you are real old school, you know Kenyans have come from far, when it comes to TV and radio.

4. Your Top three four Kenyan hangouts

a. Ati some of us meet at Nairobi Java House, simply known as Java; just to eat their damn expensive but tasty ice cream. Nowadays they have competition from Dormans, which is another place for Kenyans to floss how high class we are (coz we are now drinking those espressos.)

b. Some of us meet outside Bata Hilton, or outside Nandos on Moi Avenue or outside Kenya Cinema. (I will never be caught dead there). Then we buy ice-cream from Steers for KShs 30.00 on Sunday and chips from Mc Fries.

c. Movie buffs will buy those overpriced hot dogs and pop corn at the theatre to eat at the ultimate hangout - the movies. Nowadays we are all high and mighty; we go to Prestige Plaza and Fox Cineplex (not 20th Century and Kenya Cinema like before)

5. Your Top Kenyan holiday destination

a. Shaggz (rural upcountry), for those who have never been to Mombasa,

b. the Nairobi National Park on 12th December (coz its free for Kenyan citizens),

c. And family get-togethers, to eat the aforementioned Kenyan foods.

6. Kenyan phrases I use a lot

a. Uria, bring me Kiria!! Loosely translated as - You, bring me that!!! (I live in Kikuyu land, what did you expect?)

b. Nimeangukia!! Loosely translated as, I'm lucky!!

c. You've LIED!! Loosely translated as, You've LIED!!

d. WACHA!! Loosely translated as an exclamation mark. (That's all it is, really)

7. Three things that non-Kenyans say about Kenya/Kenyans that you make you go "hmmmm"

a. Do you celebrate Christmas? Yes, WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS. And we also wish one another Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays like the politically-correct, confused western world.

b. Do you have computers? Yes, we have computers, internet connections, TV, stone houses, Gucci shoes, but no McDonald's or Wal-Mart.

c. Are you a Maasai? No I am not!! There are 45 ethnic communities in Kenya so take your pick!!

8. three things about Kenyans/Kenya that make you go "hmmmm"

a. Kiss FM - I cannot stand this sorry but moneyed excuse for a radio station.(ok - I'm hating)

b. We are English-speaking but still not rich. I thought the colonialists shoved English down our throats so we can be capitalist and democratic and rich like them.

c. Our men's obsession with English football. Did our freedom fighters throw the British out of our country for us to idolize them from so far? (Its not like Arse-e-nal and Man-Useless players know where Kenya is)

d. BAD ROADS. (Its the painful truth)

9. three things about Kenya/Kenyans that non Kenyans should know

a. We are not all marathon runners, but the many who are will continue kicking ass on the track forever.

b. We are very well informed about world affairs. We will know much about the western world than the western world will ever know about us. (Any African can identify with this.)

c. We dont live in trees and walk around in loin cloths, but so what if we did? Our hot weather allows us to.

10. Complete this sentence: I am a Kenyan because:

a. I have a Kenyan birth certificate and national identity card

b. I love visitors

c. A party is not a party without nyama choma.

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Comments:

perfect110 - September 30th, 2005 is this like a test..? perfect~

gatwiri - October 01st, 2005 Its not a test! :-) Just thought we should all get to know one another.

sway - October 03rd, 2005 "Uria, bring me Kiria!! Loosely translated as - You, bring me that!!!" - Hahaha!!!

gatwiri - October 03rd, 2005 Sway, that statement has actually become like a national anthem in the office where I work. I've been here one month now, and in that span of time, everyone has started talking like that. No one remembers anyones name, so we call each other "Uria".

sway - October 03rd, 2005 This is just.. Haha!! I'm so going to use that! It's briliant!!!

gatwiri - October 04th, 2005 hehehe!! Just get the pronunciation correct. The keyboard doesnt have the correct accents, so you just pull the end of the word, like Uriaa,(pause) give me Kiriaa!

sway - October 04th, 2005 Alright, thank you. I will practice on my accent

anonymous - October 09th, 2005 Hey, cool blog! I was wondering. You said tea is women's thing in Kenya. What do men drink, then? Cheers, Carlos

gatwiri - October 11th, 2005 Tea is not only a chic thing, guys also drink it, but not as much as women. (Especially those who are married and have kids.) As you move into a different stage in life, it seems that the tea intake increases. When we meet for family functions or just a visit, there must be tea before or after the food, whichever comes first. I guess it's more appropriate to say tea is a Kenyan habit. (Something we picked from the British colonialists). If you come to my house, I must offer you tea. :-) Which is ok because the best tea in the world comes from Kenya.

anonymous - November 10th, 2005 Greatest laugh i've had in days!(we were in high school together and am glad ur representing... both Kenya & stato)

gatwiri - November 10th, 2005 Glad you enjoyed it! We have to represent now that we are out here, because Stato was the best!! Where else does school uniform look soooo good??

anonymous - December 08th, 2005 true kenyan test - the "ntigukuria" translating - nikuulize? question preempting another, more likely than not, rhetoric question...

gatwiri - December 09th, 2005 Holla previous anonymous, r u a Meru? Naandi Meru's are the ones with that phrase.

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