State Of The Marital Union - Part 2
When: Dec 6th, 2005 6:36:09 am - Subscribe
I'm feeling: Kidogo Amused
Talk, Opinion, Music, Life, Stuff: Opinion, Life
Celebrities have made a fashion of making a mockery of marriage. It's too bad we look up to them (other people, not me :-)). If it isn't Elizabeth Taylor and her collection of husbands, it is our dear Nick and Jessica, or Brad and Jen, take your pick. In high school, we had a slang phrase for people who kept changing things and opinions on a whim. For example, you could say, "So and so changes her nail polish/ hair style/ boyfriend like underwear." In the same breath, we could say such and such a celebrity changes boy/girlfriends like underwear.
I really need to understand what big problem people have with being married. Marriage-haters seem to be more that married folk. Everywhere you turn, there is someone, most probably a woman, saying she doesn't believe in marriage. Yeah, right. Most of these people are not married, and have never been married, so what do they know?
Me, I personally believe that the problem is not marriage, but the people who marry. When you come together with a partner, that is the only time you can create the space called marriage. If you are in that space, you know what it feels like, and so you are qualified to speak, and possibly complain.
If you don't come together with another person, then you can't create it. If you are not married, how can you complain about marriage, when you and another person are not in that space? However, if you are, you can complain, because you are in that space.
My point, there are some things you can't start to comprehend until you get there. If you are born without a physical challenge, then it's kinda hard to really know what lack of hearing or sight is. In this situation, you can empathize from what you see or hear about physical disability.
If by accident you lose either, then you come to truly understand what a person born in that situation is going through. It's prolly the same with being married. When you get in is when you truly understand what happens, otherwise when you are outside, you do not have that very vital first hand experience.
This is not to say that being outside a situation doesn't give you a valid viewpoint. I'd just rather hear about the trials and tribulations of being married from a person who has actually been there, at least once. It's a credibility issue! But then again, we have all seen things about marriage that we don't like, like infidelity and abuse, and so we don't want to go there. But then we have to remember it's one or both of the married people in that ‘space' are the ones who commit infidelity, not the marriage.
Now to these celebs, I should prolly feel sorry for them. But maybe they would say they wouldn't want my pity. Have they heard of pre-marital counselling? They can afford the best shrinks before marriage and avoid the most expensive lawyers after. It only makes logical sense. (I'm being cruel, hehehe, but I had to say it.)
Thus, we need to be very careful about the sources of our information. If someone complains about marriage, they may be covering up an issue like fear of rejection. I believe that there is a message behind a person's words, there is something they are trying to say underneath the words they use. Just think of your own words. How many times do you say, ‘men are dogs'? (words) You hope that your friend will pick up on the fact that you want to talk because some dude dumped you (message behind the words). Then you wait expectantly for them to ask, "What's wrong?", but all they heard was ‘Men are dogs'.
But then again, some people really just don't believe in marriage. Take your pick.
Comments: (2)
Create your own Free Aeonity Blog Today
Content Copyrighted gatwiri at Aeonity Blog
deathcab4u - December 06th, 2005 |
 |
gatwiri - December 06th, 2005 |
