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GDC Will God take Pitty on Windows? - Subscribe
Will God take pitty on Windows? For those of
you who run Windows or have ever had the wonderful exprience of doing so, I am quite positive you know what I am talking about. A friend of mine lent me a DVD/CD-WR drive for my comp so that I may enjoy DVD's on my computer and my precious TR (Tomb Raider Legend)-(which I will review later). Well, look low and behold he needed the drive back temporarly, so being a good citizen I let him take it back replacing it with my previous CD-drive.

The next night I have a sudden urge to send Lara out and kick some serious mercenary ass. When I inserted the disc, my pretty computer made a most terrible face at me and started to yell that the drive I was trying to run was disabled on the account of it missing from the computer. Sigh, I thought. But of course, I have my old drive. So I popped the disc out and pondered the thought of purchasing a drive of my own. This is when my computer informs me I have installed new hardware and must restart my computer and enable this hardware. (Would I like to restart now or later?) Now.

My computer reloaded in what appeared to be a cheap version of "safe mode" and to my suprise my resolution was pathetically low and was running on 4bit colour. Oh good gracious good Gandhi. I attempted to change it, and my computer as stubborn as beauty can make you said, 'hell no'. I spent the next hour trying to find where in the jennifer love hewitt my Nvidia video card option re-install button was.

I tried to push button, but no bacon was recieved. I was severly and most dangerously pissed at Windows for making everything so gaud-damn 'user-friendly'.

I have met people who are 'friendly' and some can be so friendly they are just f*** anoying. This is what windows has done. They have become so friendly you just want to torpedo them into innerspace. Where I'm sure the computer will then say something about hardware again. Even the sea creatures will become so offended they will throw Windows back onto the mainland and protest about us pissing in their water.

I am this close to switching to Linux. But I won't now because I am far too amused by my friend who spends every hour of the day trying to switch me to just that. Perhaps MAC. Not only are they pretty and shiny and full of immense win and awsome, not to mention the amazing +4points, but because they are practical.

Long story short, my computer is now working after hounding my computer settings and re-installing sh** that was already installed. But Windows, like such a friendly fu** friend, would not recognize that some things in our relationship, were already done.

Aeonity Directory
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Mood: Pissed with Windows

GDC Tomb Raiders' Lara: gone sexy or stupid? (with a double p) - Subscribe
TOMB RAIDER: LEGEND

OOOOH! LEGEND!!! It’s pretty and shiny and has an action cam that could piss the Easter Bunny off.

Upon downloading the demo I decided alright, this might just be worth my time. So off I headed to a techie-shop where they were NOT working commission as to guarantee that I would not be sold the very carpet off the ground. My main priority for visiting the shop was originally to buy a new printer. (Which by the way I somehow ended up with an HP and not the carpet…. ? Don’t ask.) After discussing some reg-techie stuff with the sales guy I asked him, “Do you have Tomb Raider Legend in stock?” He gave me the weirdest look and sarcastically commented, “Yes. We also have NeverWinter Nights if you’re interested.” And then he began to laugh. I think he actually thought that I might have been joking. “Well, I’m actually wanting to buy the game.” You should have seen the expression on his face.

He looked as though he had just walked into a room and caught someone licking all the icing off a pink cake. “Oh.” He responded, “It’s over here.” Things for whatever reason were quite awkward after that. Apparently you can only get away with playing PC games up to a certain age. *audible sigh*

I suppose the overall ‘LEGEND’ of Tomb Raider is that sometimes you’re really not sure whether to throw your monitor out the window or let the mercenaries kill Lara instead of constantly saving her ass.

One of the features that enraged me the most was how when Lara arms herself, her beauty guns can only be out for approximately five seconds before she puts them away. So if you’re like myself and enjoy sneaking or ‘lurking’ just before the kill, Lara will automatically disarm herself even if it is the middle of a kill session. So be sure to keep firing if you want the beaut’s to stay out.

Another annoying feature… I like to think the most practical way to target is: Wherever Lara is facing, the guns face and hence the target is. So therefore the camera follows where the target and Lara go. For some reasons Eidos got some crack idea that maybe it would be more entertaining if they made it so: wherever the camera faces, the target is. I spent a whole five seconds firing at a ceiling lamp for no apparent reason. I almost started to search the disc for a self-destruct button. However, if you can manage the camera, the game itself is a lot of fun.

A nice touch is having the hazard shots. In some cases Lara can shoot at the side of a cliff and then part of it will fall off and kill some guys. The game calls this something along the lines of a “hazard” or whatever… Anyways, they place little yellow hazard signs wherever you can do cool things like this. Let’s not forget how in certain scenes the game does not completely cut to cinematic, but will let you kill in slow motion and jump around and do cool flips and stuff for a split two seconds. I really enjoyed this feature.

However, Lara can only be incredibly awesome when she’s got her weapons out. So if I put my gun away, I can’t do a side-summersault. I can only do cool dives and summersault jumps when I’m armed. This sucks because I would have loved to do some cool acrobat things in ‘Croft Manor’.

Croft Manor is somewhere along the lines of a ‘training ground’ for Lara. You can’t die here and there are no bad guys (even if you go after the butler). Lara can lose strength, but simply go for a swim and –ta-da!- Lara’s up to speed. In the manor you run around on a goose chase for some bronze, silver and gold rewards and solve a mystery Kings Quest style. (without other characters though). It’s mildly entertaining, but has a gym and some apparatus that is fun to test some moves for Lara on.

Over all though, I would give this game a +8. (and this is mostly because of the slow-motion and pretty and or shiny objects)
So enjoy it, God knows Eidos is making money off of it.
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Mood: unfulfilled

GDC Soundtrack better than the Movie? - Subscribe
I have come to realize and appreciate the fact that a soundtrack to a movie is more often than not better and more appealing than the movie itself.

For example, Tomb Raider I: the soundtrack was better. Tomb Raider II: The soundtrack was better. Monty Python-The Grail: The soundtrack was better. Queen of the Damned: better. The English Patient: better. The list continues.

Coincidently a lot of movies that have better soundtracks usually consist of certain actors like Tom Cruise, Ralph Fiennes, Lee Lee Sobieski, Canoe Reeves (hah hah), and let’s not forget that guy who played Dr. Zhivago. Or even that other guy. You know?-The guy who’s tallish/short with blackish/brown hair? He just kept talking and talking in one incredibly unbroken sentence, moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic. O lol. He was in the movie Airheads… I think…?

Anyways, I am quite sure you get my point. O right and funny comment of the day, I was grocery shopping earlier and waiting forever in Save-On because like always they are short staffed and like always I am far too lazy to find myself another grocery store that has a video store within the same 1km radius.- When I saw on the cover of “Good Housekeeping” none other than Tom Cruise. The first things that came to mind in order were:

-Tom Cruise?
-Good Housekeeping?
-Tom Cruise Transgender?
-No.
-Tom Cruise someone’s b*tch?
-Yes.
-(head nod)
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Mood: bleh

GDC What lives in the Walls...(new home or old home) - Subscribe
A little less than a year ago I had moved from an older home, aprox built in the 60’s to a home that was built three years ago and now I find myself on the same adventure.
Summer has approached and all the things that live in walls come out for a visit. Or at least, that seems to be the creepy case.

In my previous house, it may have been old but what lived in the walls, stayed in the walls. (Unless the wolf spider had outgrown its domain, then there would be an awkward confrontation with him trying to get out the front door without getting the loafer in the ass). But the heat has jumped quite a bit recently and I find myself killing spiders (odd one’s at that) almost constantly.

The other night I was just about to go to sleep when I heard the strangest noise.
“What was that?” I said aloud.
“It wasn’t me.” The monster in my closet replied.
“Oh. Can you get the lights?”

When the lights flickered on to a painful 60watts, I was caught off guard to see a creepy lookin’ thing creepin’ round my room. “Ah! You must be destroyed!” I yelled grabbing my most recent John Le Carre novel and flinging it at what looked to be a spider. When the book hit the spider, it actually made a loud ‘crunch’ sound. This I found was a little disturbing. The monster and I soon were in a deep slumber. Everything was okay.

But my point being, I found it peculiar that my older home seemed to be in better condition than my newer one. Could it be the wearing in of a home? Or has our building methods cheapened that much over the years?
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Mood: curious and a little creeped