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i tend to dream about the impossible - fairytales, alternate reality worlds where i can solve every problem without fail without the need to cry without feeling weak without feeling alienated where, i have friends whom i can run to their houses as and when i want and busy doesn't get in the way. and please don't forget that i dreamt that i was downright smart and aced everything and studying was a blast because we all studied together quietly and discussed when needed only without crapping how nice but that will never come true because it exists only in books in novels and it shows how selfish i am because i want to live in a world constructed by me and only me. see. i hate myself for being so self-centered there's so much baggage weighing down it's so suffocating i know i'm not suppose to think of stuff like this at such a time it's going to affect my studies and it did already as seen by how i screwed by quiz and graded presentation i pretend to bury myself within books but in fact i'm facebooking or daydreaming yet again and thinking about things that i shouldn't be concerned about . blog entries are really reflective of who you are it shows how pessimistic i am how sadistic i am goodbye. i have a 30% quiz tomorrow UNTOUCHED. i am doomed but i'm courting doom so, please do not wish me luck! thank you! |