i tend to dream
about the impossible -
fairytales, alternate reality worlds
where i can solve every problem
without fail
without the need to cry
without feeling weak
without feeling alienated
where, i have friends
whom i can run to their houses
as and when i want
and busy doesn't get in the way.
and please don't forget
that i dreamt that i was downright smart
and aced everything
and studying was a blast
because we all studied together
quietly and discussed when needed only
without crapping
how nice
but
that will never come true
because it exists only in books
in novels
and
it shows how selfish i am
because i want to live in a world constructed by me and only me.

see.

i hate myself for being so self-centered
there's so much baggage weighing down
it's so suffocating
i know i'm not suppose to
think of stuff like this
at such a time
it's going to affect my studies
and it did already
as seen by how i screwed by quiz and graded presentation
i pretend to bury myself within books
but in fact
i'm facebooking
or daydreaming yet again
and thinking about things that
i shouldn't be concerned about
.
blog entries are really reflective of who you are
it shows
how pessimistic i am
how sadistic i am

goodbye.
i have a 30% quiz tomorrow
UNTOUCHED.
i am doomed
but i'm courting doom
so, please do not wish me luck!
thank you!