scared.

sighs.

i knew going online was the wrong thing to do. i miss my fav boy i won't be seeing his big big big big eyes anymore. i won't be seeing him hiding in a 'corner' and pretending to be a monster. i won't be hearing him saying 'one... two... three... four...'. i won't be hearing him reading books anymore. my other fav boy too! i miss him in my arms. i miss him whining to me. i miss assisting him in wearing his pants. i miss the touch of his hand on my cheek. and my fav girl! i miss her hugging me from behind. i miss her coming up to me when i enter from bay2 during lunch hours. OH DEAR.

but despite all those i miss, i'm not going to have kids. it takes way too much commitment. at least for now. i'm reconsidering having kids at 25. prob 35 or 45. HAHA.

i'm afraid of guys who are too initiative

MEH. GO AWAYYYYYY!

i lost 16 friends.

and 1 sister.

shitty? is there something wrong with being honest? it's the subtle form of hurt that destroys everything. that makes you conscious of small details. that wears you out. something which an apology doesn't mend. saying sorry doesn't change anything. i've said sorry too. but i know things can't go back to what they were originally. best friends can never go back to the same state again without some false pretenses. CAN YOU REALLY ACT AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED? do you swear that your opinion on that person has not changed? not a bit? disappointment? bitterness? or a feeling of resentment?

i hate all these. why must the world exist with all these? why can't we all unite as one. why fight? SO FREE NOTHING TO DO ARH? go ask yourself what you're fighting for. for humanity? for the freedom of your mates? for equality? yes, they've done you wrong. THEY DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED. BUT DO IT THE RIGHT WAY DUDE. not through violence. stand up. be a leader. it might take years. yes, but you wlll be a respectable person. and who knows. i believe in karma. they'll prob die from a heart attack, fall down while they walk and the likes of it. see. words are so powerful.

choose your words carefully. things will never be the same if you say the seemingly right wrong words. or should i say, the seemingly wrong right words? i don't know too.

gah.
grr.

tmr's exam. and i feel RELAXED and i'm reading novels and playing computer games.

something's wrong. terribly wrong. when did i ever get so egoistic over my studies? :<

god bless me. amen.

there. the title says it all.